Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby
by TechnoDee
Summary: [Sequel to 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom] The unfortunate accident that occurred in Castle Dedede resulted in Kirby earning the title of the king. And under him, there will be many drastic changes. But mostly, they're still wandering around doing stupid stuff. T for swearing and really mild violence.
1. Beginning of Post-Game

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter One: Beginning of Post-Game**

_The beginning of something Bandana Dee terms a post-game._

* * *

Pawns were rid of the moment they had turned useless.

The Cycle—you come to Castle Dedede, you get interviewed, you get accepted, deemed a minion, also deemed as a pawn, once useless, thrown away—used to spin a web around fear of being taken out of existence, misery, happiness when accepted, and many others. Its long life story drops from _one_ to _zero_ and it has been halted by the ultimate barrier called _the new king_.

Pawns were no longer rid of the moment they had turned useless. This king will continue to preserve one's falling life, no matter how small—a tiny, useless Waddle Dee counted—and if lost, the king will not take it lightly.

The Cycle could be termed as a "final boss" in a "game". "Post-game" would be after the "final boss" has been "defeated". The Cycle has been "defeated", stopped, never to spin again.

"Post-game" is where things will be easier and happier, usually.

If things were easier and happier, that means some very drastic changes were going to weave their way through their life, then. The "main game" had been anything but easy and happy.

The new king has taken responsibility over their lives. They have been assured they will be kept safe and will not be abused in any sort of way. The only thing he cannot prevent is his enemy's attacks.

The pawns—the minions—are willing to be attacked by the enemies. They have decided that the new king would do a good job at defense.

The sun was slowly creeping over the horizon. The new king was perched on the balcony railing, signature grin plastered onto his face like always. He turned backwards briefly at the castle, before turning back to the sunrise.

_Time to make some drastic changes to the castle._

* * *

**A/N:** Author's note at the back, yep. I can't make a sequel to this or I'll be placing my author's note in the middle. That's... no.

Anyways, I switched and messed with the present and past tense here a lot, so... I probably made a mistake somewhere. More likely in the present tense section. Ah well, as long as you get the concept.

The italics author's note was simple and nice, but I've recently had a change of author's note. So.

Anyway, here! Have the sequel to **Minion: 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom**! These stories will be very similar; this story will also update almost every day and will be relatively short chapters. This time, some may get long. I'm going to list out the differences...

Waddle Doo will now be called Mitchizuka (his real name). I've started making the non-pronoun stuff capital (Waddle Dee, Waddle Doo, &amp;c, &amp;c), so, to avoid confusion, this happens.

This story is **not limited** to 100 chapters.

...Eh, sorry for long author's note. I had a lot of stuff to say. First chapter, you know?


	2. Waking Up on the Wrong Side

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Two: Waking Up on the Wrong Side**

_Bandana Dee literally means it when he says he "wakes up on the wrong side of the bed"._

* * *

Bandana Dee had a bad habit of waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

"_Oh, holy shit not again!_"

Mitchizuka bolted upright. "Bandana! Who's dying?" he screamed, clutching the sheets in terror.

"Me, _me_! _I'm_ dying!" Bandana Dee screamed back.

Haddle the (opposite of a) saviour burst through the door. "Stop screaming!" he screamed at them, eyes narrowed. "Bandana Dee! Twenty push-ups for screaming, on the ground, _now_! You too, Mitchizuka!"

"B-But—" Bandana Dee's voice was increasingly muffled. "I can't! I'm squished in the gap between my bed and the wall!"

"Oh my god!" Mitchizuka ducked under the covers. "No! I don't want to see my best friend being squished! Save him, Haddle!"

"Shut it!" Haddle pulled the bed away from the wall, allowing Bandana Dee to fall to the ground. "How do you push the bed away from the wall and fall down the gap, anyway? I don't get it."

"Me neither," Bandana Dee mumbled miserably, crawling out from under the bed. "I am a sad, sad person."

Haddle rolled his eyes. "Sure you are, and even more so if you don't be at assembly in ten minutes," he muttered with a sharp edge, whipping round and slamming the door shut. Bandana Dee's gaze flicked to the clock.

"_Holy shit_!"

"Shit is not holy!" Mitchizuka cried from under the covers. Bandana Dee raced over to his bed and yanked the sheets off of him. "Hey! What's the big deal?"

"Ten minutes! Assembly! Now!" Bandana Dee yelled back.

"_What_? I was gonna take a big dump!"

"Take a big dump later! We need to get going _now_ or we'll have crap being dumped on _us_!" Yanking Mitchizuka out of the bed, Bandana Dee dragged him along the ground and out into the Minion Hallways. From there, Haddle was waiting and nodded curtly before speeding down the hallway.

"'M late," Mitchizuka muttered. "Why didn't Midori wake us up?"

"Oh, he was gonna talk with Wildfire and Minura. You know, Wildfire and Midori have been minions for a pretty long time, so they know each other real well, and Minura just needs"—Bandana Dee searched for the right word—"a talk. 'Cause he's so wimpy."

"I hoped he reserved a seat for us."

"If he didn't, I'll slap him."

"Roast his balls."

They slipped into their seats—Midori _had_ reserved seats for them—and waited patiently for the assembly to start. Okay, so Mitchizuka was so jittery Bandana Dee threatened to strangle his eyeball and tear out his hair, but it was still very patient.

* * *

**A/N:** Borin' chapter. I got nothing to write, see?

Now, shhh, don't complain about yesterday's skip. Shut up and take it.

...Speaking of skipping, most likely no update tomorrow? I have so much homework by bag feels like it has gold in it. (Gold? _Homework_? No.)

I also forgot about the covert art. Again. *frowns* 'M gonna do it sometime next time. (And no, Nashew, no offering to do it.)


	3. First Time He Didn't Fall Asleep

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Three: First Time He Didn't Fall Asleep**

_Bandana Dee often slept when the old king made announcements, but he changed his tactics when the new king arrived._

* * *

The assembly wasn't as boring as Bandana Dee thought—Kirby was going on and on about improving the castle, changing their lifestyles, blah blah blah, &amp;c, &amp;c, but Kirby wasn't a hundred-percent in love with his own voice like Dedede, so it was fine. Kirby rarely made emphasis on his points by repeating it, but if he did, it was only once. And once was okay.

"Hey, you didn't fall asleep!" Mitchizuka trilled once it was over. Bandana Dee turned to him with a blank stare. "Well, new king and all, huh? You made sure to pay attention 'cause it's Kirby and all."

"You dolts were friends with Kirby before this?" one of R. Bonkers' friends—Lionpi, Bandana Dee guessed—sneered. "Well, you were friends with our former enemy."

"And our new king." Haddle's sudden appearance surprised Bandana Dee—but he was grateful at the snappy Healer. "Old enemy, new king. You got a problem, you can't do anything. 'Cause the old king's in jail." He shifted his eyes to the route down to the cells. "Unless you wanna join him, I can arrange that, yeah."

"Who do you think you _are_?" Lionpi growled, swinging back his hammer.

"I think I'm Haddle," Haddle replied snappishly. "It's been my name ever since I was born, and _I_ don't have a problem with it."

"Well, you better have one now, because I'm changing it to Stupid Asswipe," Lionpi snarled.

"_Hey_!" Wildfire's shrill voice cut through. "Pee-Pee! I _told_ you to back off, _jerk_!"

The Bonkers fled within the next second. Wildfire pushed Haddle out of the way, sprinting after him and letting loose a jet of fire after him. Midori and Minura gathered with Bandana Dee and the others.

"Well, Wildfire got into a fight with him last week," Midori explained. "She kinda burnt him and she warned him to stay away, but well, he didn't. So."

"Oh, did you hear?" Mitchizuka's eyes lit up. "We're renovating the castle, so no more ugly Dedede faces along the hallway! It's awesome, right? I mean, I have to prevent myself from puking every time I walk by."

"It's stressful," Bandana Dee agreed sulkily. "And it's better if we got rid of it as quickly as possible." He wasn't paying attention all the time, though, since his brain was accustomed to shutting down during speeches. Kirby wasn't boring, but his brain was very stubborn to change.

"Oh, Bandana Dee?" Kirby's voice called from behind. Bandana Dee whipped round, staring curiously at the new king. "I was going to visit Kuku and the others. They called me there, you know. I was wondering if you'd like to join me—Kuku said you should come over, too."

"Uh—of course?"

"Don't give me that questioning tone, it's completely fine, you know. And before you say anything, _don't_ give me any sort of majestic title." Kirby smiled threateningly. "Just Kirby. Or else."

"Uh, okay." That sounded scary, even though when someone used "or else", it didn't usually sound scary. Kirby was amazing, though, he made the impossible possible.

"...Oh, crap!" Mitchizuka's eye widened and he covered the area where his mouth would have been. "Um... Bandana Dee..?"

Bandana Dee turned back to Mitchizuka. "Yeah?"

The Waddle Doo wrung his hands. "Um, you know, we were in a hurry today, so, uh, you know..."

"What?"

"I forgot to, uh..."

"_What_."

"I forgot to, well, inform you that you, um... didn't... bring... your... spear?" Each word was teamed with a step backwards. Bandana Dee felt around his back, and tilted his head mechanically.

"No. Spear."

"I—I mean, I swear I forgot!" Mitchizuka had taken off down through the yard. "_'M gonna run back and get it!_"

Kirby tilted his head. "This is what happens when Bandana Dee doesn't bring his spear?"

Haddle nodded stiffly. "Let's just go. They'll find their way to the house by themselves, anyway. If they get lost, they miss out on the food."

"Oh, okay." Kirby glanced at Bandana Dee. "What's wrong with him?"

"No-Spear Malfunction," Midori chirped.

* * *

**14 April 2014 SGT**

...Boring chapter!

Oh, by the way, there are two different things here in the author's note: You see that date above? Instead of putting "**A/N**", I'm putting that. So we can see how lazy I am, you know?

Two, there's a "**Next Update**" below. That's my most likely time for the next update, unless something bad happens. But it'll most likely happen, so.

Boring chapters are boring! Stick out with it until, like, the tenth chapter. I dunno, I don't plan my things, you know.

Ideas _will_ be accepted (similar to 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom), but not _now_. I need to get the stuff done. You can start submitting ideas once I've posted chapter five, and for all of those who forget, I'll put a reminder in a author's note to remind you all. Because I'm simply fabulous. (hahano)

**Next Update: Tomorrow (15 April SGT)**


	4. The Abomination of Many Buttons

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Four: The Abomination of Many Buttons**

_Bandana Dee does not like complicated things, Mitchizuka has a like for complicated things, and Wildfire shoves complicated things at others._

* * *

"You know," Bandana Dee muttered as they walked along the pathway, "Wildfire just got us something called a 'mobile phone' because apparently, we're hobos without them."

"You _are_," Wildfire insisted, glaring at them.

"Yeah anyway," Mitchizuka interjected, "this 'mobile phone' thing is awesome. It's so... _functional_."

"No, too complicated," Bandana Dee scoffed.

"That's the key factor of making it _awesome_!"

"No, it's not! It's supposed to be _simple_ otherwise no one can use it, duh!"

"Noooo! If it's too simple, it's not interesting! It can't be un-interesting! If they are, they're not fun to have!"

"Yeah, right, _as if_. It's a device for communication; it should be kept simple and easy."

"Well, it's not my fault if you have such a bird-brain and you can't solve the 'mobile phone'!" Mitchizuka flared.

Bandana Dee's eyes narrowed. "Mitchizuka, did you just call me a 'bird-brain'?"

"Well, _duh_."

"Are you trying to start something, mister?"

"Well, if I wasn't—"

"Why'd you give us a phone anyway?" Bandana Dee had diverted his divine fury to Wildfire. "You know, I don't even know how to use it. Keep your money next time. And don't buy me a laptop for Christmas."

"Well, too bad, complicated things are fun to get other people."

"_What_. So it was on _purpose_. That's it, you're—"

"We should just leave without them," Midori suggested. Kirby nodded.

* * *

**15 April 2014 SGT**

Kirby tolerates people very well.

Now, don't get me wrong; Bandana Dee _is_ smart, but he doesn't _like_ complicated things. Mitchizuka's stupid but he likes complicated things. Wildfire enjoys confusing people with complicated things.

**As a reminder, when the next chapter (chapter 5) is out, ideas will start being accepted like the last fanfic.**

_**Next Update: This Thursday (17 April SGT)**_


	5. Parties and Babies

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Five: Parties and Babies**

_Bandana Dee likes squirting apple juice at others from underneath the table—and "apple juice" is **not** an euphemism for urine, thanks._

* * *

"_Kirby_!" The door was promptly flung open upon reaching the house (after Bandana Dee kicked Mitchizuka into saying mobile phones were evil) and Haddle was nearly thrown backwards. As an instinctive response, Haddle hissed and morphed his wings rapidly into steel. Kuku still stood there, grinning like a (certified) idiot. "We heard that you became king, so we're throwing a _paaaarty_!"

"If this includes getting squished by hugs, I'm not participating," Kirby said curtly _and_ politely.

"Don't worry," Lili called from inside with an irritated tone like always, "I'll make sure Ku doesn't kill anyone today."

"I don't kill anyone, these are _death hugs_!"

"Death hugs lead to death, Ku."

"You're such a party-pooper."

"Do you have apple juice?" Bandana Dee suddenly asked. Kuku nodded. "Okay. Thanks." Slinking into the house, Bandana Dee disappeared.

"Annnnyway." Kuku jumped up and hugged Kirby anyway. "_Kirby I love you I'll have your babies I **knew** you'd do something awesome like becoming a king_ _and_—"

The thud produced from the collision of Lili's parasol and Kuku's head resounded. "Sorry, Ku, but you promised you wouldn't hug anyone for today."

The others which remained outside slipped into the house. (Including Kirby.)

After a short introduction of Wildfire, Mitchizuka looked around with a worried expression. "Oh, crap, I don't see Bandana anywhere."

"Is that a bad thing?" Kirby asked innocently.

"Yeah, if we can't find him, I can bet half of my savings he's underneath a table—"

_Ssssshhhhh!_

"—squirting apple juice. Oh, yuck, Bandana." Mitchizuka grabbed the nearest towel and began wiping himself. Kuku lead him to the toilet to wash off the apple juice.

"This is fun," Bandana Dee declared, before waltzing out and grabbing the nearest table cloth before flinging it over the table he was under and crawled back underneath. Kiki stared at the table cloth.

"He had _six_ bottles of apple juice under there."

If it was possible, Midori's jaw would have dropped. "You're lying," he accused.

The Simirror shook her head. "No, I'm serious. Kuku bought twenty bottles. We have to protect the other fourteen."

"No, he just stole the rest of them," Haddle muttered, watching as Bandana Dee crawled out from underneath and snatched most of them. All that remained was six bottles, now.

"We should just eat the food," Lili suggested, sighing exasperatedly. "Kuku insists that you stay until dinner's over. Hopefully, this juice-squirting loon will come back out out of sheer hunger."

* * *

**17 April 2014 SGT**

If you've forgotten, **you can submit ideas now**!

As a reminder, if I don't like the idea, I'll turn it down. So don't send in stupid requests. (Even if you don't, there's still a chance that I'll turn down sensible requests. I might not like some.)

_**Next Update: This Saturday (19 April SGT)**_


	6. When He Does Not Sleep like a Log

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Six: When He Does Not Sleep like a Log**

_Bandana Dee is willing to accept there will be much construction going on around the castle now, but he is not willing to accept his sleep will be disrupted (again)._

* * *

Kirby had started construction that day with a "these ugly faces must be rid off right now". Dedede had carved "Dedede faces" onto the walls along most of the hallways. It greatly disturbed Kirby, apparently.

The new king had also complained that it was "too castle-y" and needed it to be more "homey". The throne room would go under construction as a result. In a few weeks' time.

Bandana Dee had accepted all these facts. He was very happy about them. "Dedede faces" were repulsive and immoral.

But Bandana Dee had not accepted that the noise of construction would disturb him.

_GLLLRRRR..._

"Mitchizuka. I swear. To my bandana. If you are making those snoring sounds I will—"

"Chill, okay, Bandana? That _wasn't_ me!" Mitchizuka yelped from across the room, voice muffled because Bandana Dee had adamantly shoved the pillow over his head.

"Then go investigate it! Now!"

"I _know_ what it is! It's the construction! They're gathering all the nocturnal workers and fixing all those ugly faces! Midori is working there too!"

"Then _make them shut up_!"

"_How_."

Bandana Dee bolted upright with so much force that his pillow was sent flying towards Mitchizuka's face. "Fine, you stupid wuss! I'll go!"

"PMS much?"

"Don't 'PMS much' my face, ungodly coward."

"Cowards are _always_ ungodly."

"Yeah, but you're _more_."

* * *

**20 April 2014 SGT**

'Kay I'm a lazy butt I didn't update yesterday when I was supposed to soooo

Anyways, boring chapter _again_. Just to let you know that Bandana Dee (does not PMS and) enjoys his sleep. Very much. If I hadn't clearly made that point in 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom.

Guest Replies

**taco999o999**: As you can see, I didn't plan on continuing the party. But food fights can be done in future.

_**Next Update: Tomorrow (21 April SGT)**_


	7. They Drink Coffee as a Break

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seven: They Drink Coffee as a Break**

_Bandana Dee and Mitchizuka often sit on the benches in the Minion Hallways in their free periods with coffee._

* * *

"...and Haddle flipped that time."

"Well, _duh_. Haddle's _always_ flipping. When I spilled toothpaste on the sink and Haddle was in the room teaching Midori about some medical crap, he went directly to rage mode on me." Mitchizuka took a sip and watched as a Transporter zoomed by. "I haven't gotten much sleep either these days, so I didn't take it well and we started arguing. It broke when Midori announced he needed to poop and we were arguing in the bathroom so we left."

"That explains why you're so grumpy," Bandana Dee muttered. "You need to get more sleep or we'll have a second Haddle. Having one is bad enough. Haddle is a lot better than R. Bonkers, and he has good intentions, but he's too snappish and ill-tempered for us to get anything nice out of him."

_Sip._

Bandana Dee swung his feet absentmindedly. "Hey, I heard that there's a new bakery along our hallway. I don't remember the name, but Wildfire's working there. As a baker. She doesn't _usually_ over-bake things." Usually.

"If we ever need cakes or doughnuts, I'll remember to beg for a discount." _Sip._ "Although, Wildfire can be a Haddle, so hopefully we can find a good day to."

"Mm-hm." Bandana Dee tossed his empty can into the dustbin. It fell in perfectly. Score. "Oh, did Kirby inform you about the change of the Minion Hallways?"

"Nope."

_Sip._

"Well, he dropped by the day before yesterday, and I think you were out patrolling or removing the ugly Dedede faces. Either way, he informed me our hallway is now named Waddle-0056. Room's 4742. He's sorting out the Minion Hallways by our species, which is a smart thing. R. Bonkers can't pick on us anymore."

"Well, even if he could, we'd just give Haddle a ring and let R. Bonkers feel his fury. Besides, Haddle once told me that slapping R. Bonkers is a good stress relief." Mitchizuka tossed his can into the dustbin. The can bounced around the dustbin's inner rim before dropping inside fully.

"_Ha_! I _so_ knew you couldn't beat mine! Your aim is _horrible_!"

"Shush, you! This isn't a basketball game!"

"Yeah, but it's a dustbin-can game! We throw the cans into the dustbin, get it? And I won because _mine_ didn't have to bounce like a stupid _spring_ before _actually_ landing in! And—_ow, gosh, Mitchi! That_ **_hurt_**_!_"

"Good, it's supposed to!"

"Okay, that's it. The next time I buy a hot coffee it's going at your face, mister."

"Yeah, _I'm_ the one with a badass eye electricity! Not gonna work, buddy."

"Then I'll just call Haddle or something! That one's foolproof."

Mitchizuka rolled his eye and jumped off the bench. "Yeah, yeah, I'll make sure to get my insurance and everything. My break's almost over, and I've got patrolling crap to do. See ya."

Bandana Dee nodded, yelling a, "_Bye_!" after his friend, before leaping off the bench towards the vending machine and buying himself one more can of coffee.

* * *

**24 April 2014 SGT**

O-_kay_, before you guys go apeshit on me, I have a _valid _reason for not updating. I have a _fever_ which gives me a _headache_ which makes me feel like sleeping for an entire week. But I typed a chapter anyways. Needless to say, I'm feeling _less_ shitty. Still shitty, but less.

So, to make things more stable, I'll be posting the "Next Update" on the summary, but it won't appear _now_, because I have no idea when the next update is gonna come because I don't know when I'm going to get better (unfortunately).

You'll have to deal without my sheer kickassery for the moment. (I mean, seriously, I am so tired that my fingers are so slow and this chapter took **thirty minutes** how)


	8. Definition

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eight: Definition**

_In which Mitchizuka scrawls down the definition of a "Haddle"._

* * *

They had been assigned to study groups since Kirby insisted they all study on new things. They were grouped to the usual group they had, the four of them cooped up in a corner of the library and reading (more like blankly staring at) books. Bandana Dee had termed himself the leader and was taking care of everything.

"Can I take a break?" Mitchizuka whined, smoothing out a creased page on his workbook.

"You asked that ten minutes ago. No."

"But _Bandana_—"

"No. Now go get this book." Throwing the workbook at him with the title of another book displayed, Bandana Dee kept up his pace.

"You're throwing a tantrum!" Mitchizuka snapped.

"So are you," Midori pointed out.

"Midori, I thought we—" Mitchizuka caught his words. "Whose side are you on?"

"...I was on a side?"

After much bickering and slapping and hitting, Haddle returned with a book. Upon the sight of the two squawking spheres of fury, Haddle dropped the dictionary on both of their heads to shut them up effectively. Bandana Dee kicked Mitchizuka from under the table and made him shoo off to find whatever he needed to find.

"Too many words in a dictionary," Midori muttered as he flipped over the pages. "I get dizzy."

"You don't look like it," Haddle observed dryly.

"But I _am_!" Midori insisted and shut the dictionary. "I think I work better with online dictionaries."

"Who doesn't? I mean, _most_ do, but some don't—" There Bandana Dee went with his "we must include all creatures and cannot round off things".

Mitchizuka returned, and Haddle left. The Waddle Doo proceeded to search the dictionary for a word, but paused abruptly. "Hey, Bandana Dee, I can't find a word."

"Well, what word is it?" Without waiting for a reply, Bandana Dee continued, "Just write down the word then write down the definition you _think_ it is and I'll get back to you. Midori, two times three isn't thirty-three."

"Sure it is! Two times three is three doubled so it's _thirty-three_!" The way Midori made it really made it sound like he was right, but it was still wrong. Bandana Dee slapped his forehead and proceeded to give Midori a thirty-minute lecture on it.

By the time he was done, Mitchizuka had written down his word and definition, and ran to the bathroom for a "short pee break". Haddle wasn't back yet, and Midori was mulling over the fact that two times three was six.

**_Haddle*_**

_Supernatural force of highly destructive power._

_*anomaly_

Retrieving his pen from the ceramic cup on the table, he scrawled down, "Accurate."

* * *

**30 April 2014 SGT**

[Dead Fish has risen from its dead status!]

Laziness: The quality of being unwilling to work or use energy.

Next update tomorrow.


	9. Still Kicked Anyway

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Nine: Still Kicked Anyway**

_Midori's attempts of waking Mitchizuka up results in violence._

* * *

First of May.

Spring.

And for some reason, it was _freezing_.

Mitchizuka had taken refuge under his thin blanket (Bandana Dee planned on going to a fabric shop soon to browse for bandanas and buy them better bedsheets &amp;c) and refused to get out of bed. Not even if Midori was kicking him senseless in the side.

"Wake—"

Another blow to his side. Midori kicked hard. Mitchizuka was a sturdy thing. He wondered how long they would last.

"—_up_!"

Mitchizuka did not move.

Midori yanked the sheets off of him.

"_Midori_!" Mitchizuka screeched, bolting upright and glaring at the offender with a sleepy eye. The green Waddle Doo huffed, throwing the blanket somewhere over at the desk near Bandana Dee's bed.

"Happy birthday unpleasant peasant," Midori snapped, spinning on his heel and storming out of the bedroom. Today was a break day for most of the castle, so none of them were actually doing duties. Even Haddle could take a break from all his patients (in the event that they were dying of something fatal, they were allowed to charge into their dormitory, though).

Midori's word sunk in gradually and Mitchizuka bolted out into the living room, screaming, "_Holy crap it's my birthday today!_"

"He forgot," Haddle stated. Bandana Dee nodded.

"Don't worry, he always does. He forgot last year and the year before," Bandana Dee informed Haddle. The winged Waddle Dee was not amused. "I got him an alarm clock last last year, and a calendar last year so he wouldn't forget, but he does anyway."

"Well, I swore it was Haddle kicking me awake at first, but I realised Haddle wouldn't give a crap about me waking up so I discovered it _must_ be Midori, and Midori can't be bothered to wake me up in a normal occasion either!"

"But you still didn't know," Haddle said flatly.

"Not until Midori actually said it, but now I do!"

"I went to the fabric shop earlier this morning!" Bandana Dee piped up. "They didn't have any nice bandanas or anything, but I could get some new blankets. Midori's had a huge hole in it and there wasn't much of a point keeping it, and mine was so thin that it barely did me any good, so new blankets it is. Midori also made a trip to a cheap shop somewhere and got you something. Haddle just got some doughnuts because you don't actually need anything else apart from food, so."

Bandana Dee had a stack of cloth beside him. Mitchizuka assumed it was the blankets he spoke of.

"And try not to break this by today!" Midori threw something at the Waddle Doo; a brown satchel with a small picture of a Waddle Doo sewed onto it.

Suddenly, Haddle straightened. "Midori, weren't you taking care of the pancakes?"

"Huh? ...Oh, yeah, why?"

"You've left them alone for a bit," Haddle informed him curtly. "You said waking the buffoon up wouldn't take up too much time, so I let you wake him up, but have you tended to it yet?"

Bandana Dee had to wet their old blankets and save their sorry rears.

* * *

**1 May 2014 SGT**

So I was thinking Mitchizuka needed _something_ to make him different from other Waddle Doos, and giving a satchel out of the blue is like throwing cheese in your face for no reason, so birthday it is. Plus, since Mitchizuka and I are both lazy and sloppy in our work, we have the same birthday month. I am a genius.

Oh and I just want to say for the majority of my readers who go on begging for reviews_, _how is _anything_ going to work if you don't review things yourselves? I don't even know why I bother.

Next update is unconfirmed so I'm going to put a pretty little question mark in the next update section. Most likely tomorrow, but things may happen.


	10. Buying Food

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ten: Buying Food**

_Bandana Dee buys dinner and harasses things.  
_

* * *

It was by chance that Minura met Bandana Dee at the food section of the mini market at Castle Dedede (which is to be renamed very soon).

At first, Minura hid from Bandana Dee behind a food shelf, but was eventually accidentally shoved by some other minion. After a quick apology, the Bronto Burt left, but Bandana Dee had discovered Minura's location.

"Oh, Minura! Fancy meeting you here! ...Or not," Bandana Dee muttered sheepishly. "They're out of stock of udon, and Mitchi _wanted_ udon, and Spaggy ran out of everything that Mitchi likes!"

"It must be t-tough?" Minura squeaked, unsure of what to say (well, duh, he's the chicken of the century).

"No, Mitchi is the only fussy eater, and Haddle makes him eat it anyway." With a thoughtful pause, Bandana Dee tilted his head. "Hm, we got olive rice the last time and he didn't complain..."

"What does Mitchizuka like?"

"Nothing." Bandana Dee folded his arms. "He's the only one with weird tastes! He says bitter things are okay, but sour things cannot exist, and too spicy things are bad! ...I don't even get it! That's just _so_ stupid."

"Maybe he needs food training?"

"...Food training?" This time, Bandana Dee turned to stare at Minura. "Ooh, what's that? Is it some kind of super training that helps to improve one's picky-ness? ...I'm going to search it up later."

Which Minura would be in total crap if he did that, he only heard of food training once and that was when the Waddle Dee was high (or something to that effect).

"Um... well, sure!"

Bandana Dee had turned back to the counter (which Spaggy was currently tending to) and said, "Four boxes of olive rice, then."

Minura felt the need to hurry up and escape from all sorts of crowd (...claustrophobia?) but Bandana Dee managed to drag him along all over the castle. He insisted. At the end of the day, Bandana Dee bought orange juice in a can from a vending machine for himself, and by some unlucky chance, when Minura slotted his coin in, the vending machine jammed up. Bandana Dee lightheartedly joked that it was Minura's clumsiness. To which Minura agreed with. Fully.

* * *

**2 May 2014 SGT**

Short break: 12 May - 16 May. SGT, as always.

Next update still unsure. Probably tomorrow, but I won't say a hundred-percent.

**shadow kirby 56**: Can say "happy birthmonth"

**Nashew**: By being in Castle Dedede. Be in it for too long and you may forget your own name.


	11. Stereotypical

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eleven****: Stereotypical**

_Bandana Dee proves that waddle dees are not just for decoration._

* * *

Being a Waddle Dee had many of its perks, and many of its setbacks, and even though Bandana Dee tried his best to ignore the setback bits, it got annoying.

A Fire Lion nearly ate him once and claimed that Bandana Dee was only worth for being lunch. That wasn't too long ago, and Haddle was around, and... well.

(The Law of Haddle: Bad things happen.)

It upset him, actually! Waddle dees were _completely_ capable of defending themselves! ...Just not others.

It was during his break time, and Mitchizuka was still on duty, and on days when Bandana Dee couldn't sit around and drink coffee (or sometimes tea) and throw drinks into the rubbish bin and gloat at Mitchizuka, he wandered around the Minion Hallways and checked out the stores. He usually settled for the cafe at the last bits of his break. Coffee was a wonderful creation.

He was sitting at a table and drinking coffee when he snapped.

Or rather, a stupid fire lion decided he wanted to be beaten up by a thing which did not usually beat people up but was sick of being treated like crap and would beat someone up.

It shoved him (deliberately—through years of experience, Bandana Dee knew nothing pushed him so forcefully and was accidental) and Bandana Dee didn't even need to hear what it had to say before he threw his coffee in its face.

"_Hey_! What do you think y—"

"What do _you_ think you're doing, you stupid crapass?" Bandana Dee demanded, leaping out of his chair. (For those who are wondering, the cup was made of paper, so it won't cost anything if it's broken. Because they can't use it again anyway.) "You think that _I'm_ going to stand for all this bullshit? Unlikely, Sir, so do make your way out of the door, because as far as I'm concerned, I have done _nothing_ against you to make you act so hostile towards me. You have absolutely no reason for your action. At all. So leave. Now."

The fire lion hissed and bent its limbs. "Well, what do you think you're doing now? I could just eat you, you know."

Bandana Dee faltered slightly before whipping his spear out and forced himself not to cower. "Y'know, if you wanted a fight, I can give you one. But scars and bruises and wounds come in with them for free."

After some coaxing and comforting from others, the Fire Lion snarled and left.

_Chicken_, Bandana Dee nearly yelled after him, but decided against it. And hey, he did get a free cup of coffee for the apparently amazing display of something. (And the floor was clean for free, too.)

* * *

**6 May 2014 SGT**

_REWRITTEN 17 October 2014_

_I mean, I didn't "rewrite" it, I just edited a bunch of mistakes._


	12. Aiming Skills

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby  
**

**Chapter Twelve: Aiming Skills**

_Haddle hits hard and needs to remember to aim._

* * *

"—Midori! Don't stop! Do push-ups! Now!"

"I think I'll die before it!" Midori cried, flopping on the ground. Scowling, Haddle kicked him in the eyeball. "Ow! Fine, fine, fine, fine! A hundred! On the floor! Okay!"

"Haddle, this is torture. You're murdering us," Bandana Dee muttered, scooting off to the bathroom to go splash water on his face.

"You're wimps, what can I do?"

"I am _not_ a wimp!" Mood-swing-y Midori was a dangerous Midori. Splattering purple goo from his tail, Midori kicked up a fuss and began arguing with Haddle. Haddle, Supreme Arguer and will take no nonsense, dismissed it and kicked Midori back into shape.

Frightening creature.

After Bandana Dee came back from soaking himself in water in the sink of the toilet, he slouched and yawned. "It's nearly lunchtime, and we've been working for this since five. In the morning. And it's nearly one now."

"I said it's not my fault you're wimps," Haddle quipped, before telling Mitchizuka he could go buy a drink from a vending machine and Midori that he could have a break. "Anyways, if you don't mind, I need to go make sure R. Bonkers is doing whatever I told him to."

Bandana Dee blanched. "Um. What _did_ you tell him to do?"

Shrugging indifferently, Haddle replied, "Nothing that'll kill him."

Which wasn't very reassuring to Bandana Dee. At all.

"Haddle, you're going to kill all of us someday. Not that it's a bad thing. I'd rather die by a comrade than an enemy. But still. It's bad to kill anyone _at all_. You don't have a right to. _Really_." Bandana Dee was firing words at random, basically; his mood had shifted into a panicked one even if R. Bonkers was a jerk and deserved to have his ass ripped into two and be barbecued.

"Are you _implying_ that you're too weak to do this simple exercises?"

"Oh. My. _Goodness_. _What_ exercises have you been doing since young, Haddle?"

"These kind of stuff."

"Hey, I—" a gruff voice called from behind Haddle. Bandana Dee looked up and sighed. In relief.

Too lazy to deal with them now, Haddle replied without turning around, "Go back and do whatever you were doing. I'm talking. You can ask me stuff later. Anyways, it didn't kill me so it shouldn't kill you either, Bandana Dee. You're fine, you know. After this, we can have lunch break and then a bit of rest and we'll get back to exercising."

"This is scary," Bandana De muttered under his breath. "It's Life-Threatening Haddle Exercising Sessions. I don't know why Kirby said this was a good idea."

"I'm done doing my stuff and—"

"I said keep quiet and leave us alone for a bit," Haddle bit back, again not bothering to turn around. "It's not life-threatening. I'll make sure you don't die. Even if you come pretty close to."

"Can't ya just—"

"'Come close to'? Haddle, what if I'm put under critical condition? _You'll_ have to feed me _horrible_ medicine!" Suddenly aghast, Bandana Dee reeled back.

"Blame your wimpy status, not me."

"For the sake of—"

"Can't _you_ just _shut_ _up_?!" Haddle roared, before using his foot and striking backwards. An abrupt yelp from Bandana Dee, a shriek from Mystery Person Behind Haddle, and a burst-out laughter from Midori.

"Oh—my—_gosh_!" Midori cried, forgetting his push-ups and rolling on the floor instead (it left what Haddle deemed 'sweat tracks', but now he was too engrossed in their conversation to care). "Right—in—t-the—nads!"

"Haddle!" Bandana Dee was horrified and stepped backwards several paces. "Now R. Bonkers can't have children! What have you _done_?"

It took Haddle less than a second to realise what they were saying.

It also took Haddle less than a second to make the most uncaring response: "Oh, really."

* * *

**8 May 2014 SGT**

Also, because this happened recently, I'd like to say if you borrow any of the materials from this fanfiction or my other fanfictions (material e.g.: The Place, characters, what the minions do and stuff), **you will have to inform me**. Not just _informing_; you'll have to **get my permission**, too. And once _that's_ that, you'll have to place credit, because if you take _my_ fabulous idea and claim it as your own, I will shred your ass apart.

No update tomorrow. Hopeful update this Saturday but I really don't know.

Replies

**taco999o999**: It's fine. ^^ By the way, your idea will be before chapter 20, promise.

**Nashew**: They don't even have a stupid 3DS to do multiplayer. Frustrating.


	13. Teatime Threats

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirteen: Teatime Threats**

_Midori has many friends._

* * *

"Zephyr and Peap are coming over," Midori announced.

Bandana Dee glared from where he was sitting. "_Since when_. I mean, _why_."

"What's wrong with them coming over? They're fun people, and I've known them for ages!" Midori whined. "Besides, if it helps you, we haven't seen each other in three years and it's time to catch up!"

"...Peap?" With a musing tilt of his head, Haddle paused in his reading of the newspaper. "...Peap came to the clinic. Once. With Zephyr. He was injured, I think, but Zephyr wouldn't tell me why."

"I don't think you need to know, either," Midori curtly informed.

When they came over, Bandana Dee made sure to slouch in his seat and pretend not to bother. It was weird staring at people whom he didn't know, to say the least. It greatly disturbed him.

Peap was a common Waddle Dee with no special traits; Zephyr was a white puffball with pitch black feet and carried a suspicious lace parasol with the same colouring as herself.

Mitchizuka sat opposite Bandana Dee with a grumpy frown.

"They're hogging the table."

"Let them be."

"How've you been, Peap?" Midori asked brightly.

"Obviously not fine!" Haddle cried from the kitchen. "He visited my clinic with _injuries_! He's obviously doing really bad or something!"

"It was an accident," Zephyr replied with a composed smile. "It probably won't happen again, if Peap is careful."

Peap nodded wordlessly.

"Why do we have _seven_ bottles of oolong tea?!" Haddle demanded from the kitchen. Bandana Dee slid the newspaper off his face.

"Because Mitchi wanted that much!" he replied, staring at the Waddle Doo accusingly. Mitchizuka shrugged and continued scanning over the pages of his book before quickly flipping the page.

"...Oolong tea, was it?" Zephyr turned to the kitchen _still_ with a smile (it was creepy to Bandana Dee. _Really_ creepy). "Peap, go and help me get one."

Peap choked on the cake he had been eating, and Midori took on a concerned expression. "W-Well, Zeph—"

"_Oolong tea_." This time with another smile which carried a hidden message:_ get it now you arse._

Swallowing, Peap slid off the table and raced to the kitchen.

Bandana Dee thought it was a good choice to stay in the chair and pretend he didn't exist. And he was right.

* * *

**13 May 2014**** SGT:** Pretty much needless to say, Zephyr can make people do things without even lifting a finger.

**Also I'll be gone until the 16 because of tests and studying and all that shmud. Is liddat.**

By the way, I'm using my brother's computer (which I hate because I'm not used to the keyboard it's bigger than the one I usually use but my sis is hogging it) and it is the strangest and most elusive thing I have ever come across. It underlines all the italics in red (meaning they say that it's misspelled).

Strange.


	14. Cells and Cabbages

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fourteen: Cells and Cabbages**

_Bandana Dee is a stingy Waddle Dee._

* * *

"Look, I'm going to go and give Dedede his food and whoever would like to accompany me can," Bandana Dee declared, swinging a cloth bag absentmindedly. (Okay, he nearly hit the flower vase with no flowers in it, but Haddle was going to throw it out soon.)

"What food did you get?" Midori asked curiously, hopping to his side. (Translation: _I'm tagging along but I think you know already anyway._)

"Nothing fancy." Bandana Dee was brilliant at being vague.

They ended up all going down to visit Dedede. Haddle was trying to make his staff more independent and make Spaggy attempt to play doctor for a while. (Spaggy was a magician. If he failed and nearly killed the patient with the normal medical things, he could use his magic.)

The cells were dark, dirty, and smelly. Bandana Dee kept a firm grip on his bandana to keep it from falling off. Midori was literally jumping off the walls, and Mitchizuka shrieked and tried to avoid him, while Haddle trailed behind and was darkly muttering about them being annoying and Haddle-like things.

"We're here," Bandana Dee announced, kicking open the door towards another hallway of cells. A Waddle Dee and a Waddle Doo were sitting on some chairs and talking and gossiping and all those synonyms. They were guards, of course; there were guards in every hallway. There was another door leading to another hallway of cells, Bandana Dee supposed, but he wouldn't bother to check.

"Are you taking over?" the Waddle Doo asked, spinning his rifle around. Bandana Dee didn't like rifles—they were loud and noisy. Mitchizuka liked shooting things, but Bandana Dee had banned him from keeping a rifle, so the Waddle Doo just rented one for the day (it was _really_ cheap to) and wandered around with it when he was on duty.

"Yep." Bandana Dee had taken the initiative to reply; Midori was busy fascinating himself with the floor ("Wow, it's so disgusting!") and Mitchizuka was looking at the floor with him and Haddle was still lamenting about stupid fools and stupid friends and stupid universes.

"A confirmation card, please?" the Waddle Dee prompted, stretching out his hand (the one that wasn't holding a rif—yeek! Why were there so many rifles today?). Bandana Dee poked Mitchizuka's side, and Mitchizuka jumped, then nodded, and pulled it out of his satchel. It was a blank white card that read _"GUARD(S) ON DUTY". _And then it had Kirby's signature on the bottom left corner. "All right, we're leaving, Quili."

The Waddle Doo nodded and they scampered out of the hallway.

"It's a Dedede—oh, wow." Midori was suddenly fascinated by his own words and the (overoveroverweight) penguin turning to face them with a dreary expression. "Oh. Oh. Oh. _Wow_. That's the first time that I've called Your Idiocy by his proper and him not yelling my head off."

"He's not the king anymore, he doesn't have the authority to," Haddle reminded grumpily. "Bandana Dee, go and feed him whatever you brought. When does our shift end?"

"It's only an hour!" Mitchizuka piped up. Bandana Dee nodded in agreement, before drawing something out from the plastic bag and rolling it through the gap in which a tray of food was _supposed_ to be slid through for the prisoner.

Midori was amazed. "...You brought him a cabbage? Okay, he was a mean jerk and all and he deserves to die, but don't you think Dedede deserves more than a _cabbage_?"

Bandana Dee shrugged nonchalantly and watched as Dedede attempted to unwrap the cabbage (he'd never done any unwrapping before, he always had one of the minions do it for him). "Kirby said they gave Dedede a big breakfast so he only has to eat something light."

"I don't think that's how it works," Haddle informed him curtly, looking up from his preening.

They talked and sometimes told Dedede what was happening, and the penguin responded with sneers and "Oh really?"s and stopped when Haddle threatened to snap off his beak.

Bandana Dee also caught Dedede reluctantly shoving food into his mouth. What was _his_ problem? Cabbage was nice!

When the next guards came for their duty, they stood up to leave, and Haddle stiffened slightly.

"What's wrong? ..._Bugs_!" Midori suddenly realised and began shrieking and flying out of the corridor.

"No," Haddle scoffed although Midori had already flown off into the sunset. "I heard something. Anyway, it's probably just one of those stupid prisoners complaining. Let's go."

* * *

**15 May 2014 SGT:** Everyone says _"it's just my imagination"_ but Haddle does it better. (He doesn't like to think that it's his imagination. He's too arrogant to think his senses are growing strange.)

Anyways, you know about the break? Yes? (You would've if you've been _reading_ the author's note...) Well, it seems that I write chapters when I'm trying to escape from studying. Is liddat.

...No, it's not like that, but I just will do _anything_ but study.

Also, as a curious question: Which browser do you use?


	15. Devil Doughnuts

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifteen: Devil Doughnuts**

_Bandana Dee is a bit too superstitious for his own good._

* * *

Being at the dormitory was so boring, Bandana Dee decided. Boring things should not be allowed to live. So he wandered off outside and explored the Minion Hallways.

First stop… uh, dunno.

The bakery where Wildfire worked. Ah. Yes. Bandana Dee was a genius.

"_Doughnuts_!" He brought Mitchizuka along, too. How thoughtful of him. Mitchizuka hopped, staring at the shelves and other food things. "Sugary things! I love my life!" he cried, swinging his stubs around wildly.

"I'll kick you out of the store if you cause too much of a ruckus," Wildfire reminded casually. "And you'll have to _pay_ for those doughnuts."

Mitchizuka whined and frowned, but placed the doughnut back. Then he turned to Bandana Dee with a fierce look in his gaze. Like I'm-so-pumped-for-this gaze.

Bandana Dee was creeped out slightly. "Uh… yes?"

"I'm going to buy those doughnuts." After a pause and a glance at the ring-shaped pastry, Mitchizuka continued, "Chocolate."

The Waddle Dee nearly slapped Waddle Doo in the face. "Okay. All right. That's nice to know. As long as you don't blast all of your money in the bakery. Don't forget, _you're_ buying the supplies next week." They took turns to buy supplies for their dormitory and this week was Bandana Dee's turn. Next would be Mitchizuka's turn. And if Mitchizuka couldn't buy supplies, Haddle would hunt him down and make him pay for it.

Luckily, Mitchizuka huffed. "Of course I won't! I'm buying just one for myself. There are things better than doughnuts, anyway." After seeing Bandana Dee's disapproving look ("things better than doughnuts"? _Ridiculous_. Fool), the Waddle Doo shrugged. "Um, jelly doughnuts."

Bandana Dee suddenly beamed. "Ah. But those are still doughnuts, aren't they? They're just filled with jelly. Let's not be silly."

"I am not being silly."

"Don't be silly! Of course you're being silly." Bandana Dee poked at a bun and picked it up. "I'll have this. Oh, do you think Didi would want anything?"

"Um." After taking a look around, Mitchizuka shrugged. "The crazy thing is okay with anything."

"You know, if Midori heard you say that…"

"He doesn't mind being called crazy by us. It's only people like R. Bonkers." And the last time R. Bonkers happened to call Midori crazy, he got stuck in Haddle's clinic for… well, one month? Two months? "Ooh, what are those?"

Wildfire glanced at Mitchizuka lazily. "What are what?"

"Those… stuff. They look like jelly doughnuts." Wildfire didn't say anything, which was a prompt for Mitchizuka to continue describing them. "But… they're red, and they have… uh, smiley faces on them. It's a bit creepy."

"They look like devil doughnuts!" Bandana Dee shrieked. The icing was red, and there was gloopy black stuff on it to make a smiley face. "Um…why are you selling these, Wildfire? Um, promotion to satanic rituals? I don't approve."

"No," Wildfire scoffed with the you're-an-idiot tone. "It's nearly the day Dedede became king. We had some sort of vote, and most votes said they wanted us to bake a devil-like pastry thing, so we have doughnuts."

"_Jelly_ doughnuts," Mitchizuka corrected.

Wildfire effectively shut him up with a glare.

Bandana Dee suddenly slammed his cash on the counter with the bun he had taken. "Mitchizuka take your doughnut we are getting out of this place now," Bandana Dee said at bullet speed. The Waddle Doo blinked, but complied, and they walked out of the bakery. Really fast.

"Why, what happened?" Mitchizuka questioned, bouncing along Bandana Dee.

"Those buns." Bandana Dee visibly bristled. "They're _cursed_."

* * *

**16 May 2014 SGT:** Cursed with the Dedede-ness, maybe.

next stop more food adventures


	16. Must Be Left Undamaged

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixteen: Must Be Left Undamaged**

_Haddle's things should be taped up with caution tape, placed in a box with a 'fragile' reading, and left under very good care._

* * *

The food court was quiet.

Sure, people were chatting, but quieter than normal.

Bandana Dee saw R. Bonkers, a rare occurrence, since he rarely saw the gorilla anymore. He was probably up to something. Whatever. Bandana Dee didn't really care.

"Well, look who decided to show his face," Midori snapped. No energy bars for the grumpy Midori, no happiness. R. Bonkers turned to face him, naturally.

"Whaddya want?" he demanded.

"Huh? I didn't say it was _you_, y'know." Midori's tail lashed irritably behind him. Of course he meant R. Bonkers, but he was simply being too sarcastic to annoy R. Bonkers and everyone else. "Go back to whatever miserable hole you came out of."

"What do ya—"

"I want _you_ to _shut up_. And let me eat in peace." Grumpy Midori never really made any sense, but as long as it didn't disturb Bandana Dee, Bandana Dee would live.

R. Bonkers threw his tray of food at Midori.

Midori sat there before exploding.

"_You jerk_!" he shrieked. "_You wanna get ugly? **Let's get**__** ugly**!_" And then overturned the table of food onto R. Bonkers. Haddle was typing away at his computer which happened to be not on the table, so he wasn't perturbed. At all. Though, Mitchizuka was.

"My orange juice!" And then, right afterwards, "You are _so_ dead, R. Bonkers!"

"But _he_ was the one who _did_ it!" R. Bonkers retorted.

"But you _provoked_ him to do it!"

Cue food fight. Bandana Dee, at first, tried to stay away, but when he got spaghetti in his face, he flipped. He grabbed an innocent can of tuna that was mysteriously by Haddle's side and flung it at random. Sure, he got a pie in his face, but it was blueberry-flavoured. Those ones were okay.

Then R. Bonkers made the mistake of throwing his quiche at Haddle's laptop.

The continuous _tap tap tap_ Haddle had been making had mysteriously stopped. Bandana Dee crept over, waving a hand in front of Haddle before pushing some buttons on the keyboard. Then he stared at the screen, where Haddle had been making a document. Then he clicked again. No words came out. The screen had hung.

"...He was typing all day of today and yesterday and the day before..." Bandana Dee heard Peap squeak from behind.

It was followed by Zephyr's signature silvery giggle. "Well, that's not good."

"_YOU LITTLE PILE OF FECES!_" Haddle shrieked, jumping up and glaring straight at R. Bonkers, wings outstretched and turned to steel. "_YOU ARE GOING TO PAY **HELL** FOR THAT!_"

"It was a document for some medicine thing," Midori curtly informed Bandana Dee.

The remaining food was hurled at Haddle's target, and done successfully. R. Bonkers smelled of a mixture of pie, spaghetti, pizza, porridge, broccoli, and cake for the next few weeks.

* * *

**20 May 2014**** SGT**:Idea by **taco999o999**. And well I forgot to upload this the first time. (Genius.)

Haddle likes food fights—just not when they involve his fragile stuff.

Oh, and, I _finally_ got Triple Deluxe and finished it in some one day. The story mode, at least. I haven't bothered with Dedede Tour. Yet. It's weird because _everyone_ was squealing over it and it is not that squeal-worthy.

On the bad side, you'll have less updates because I'll be playing it.


	17. Bubble Pipe Dreams

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventeen: Bubble Pipe Dreams**

_Midori has a pipe dream of bubble tails._

* * *

"So, you wanted tea?" Bandana Dee prompted.

"Water works." Translation: _tea's fine but I'm just being polite._ Bandana Dee shifted in his seat uneasily. "Relax. I'm not going to hit you."

Of course Kirby wouldn't hit _anyone_ without a valid reason. "Uh, okay."

"Then why did you come?" No matter who it was, Haddle was always rude. Always.

"I just needed some confirmation on your species. It won't take too long." Kirby looked blankly down at his untouched cake. "So, Bandana Dee, you're a waddle dee, if I remember correctly."

"Yep."

"And Haddle is a healer." An abrupt nod. "And Mitchizuka is a waddle doo." Nod. "…All right, now Midori is a—well, it's not in the records."

Bandana Dee butted over rather inelegantly. "What?" he demanded, scanning over the list. "Why is Midori's species _smudged off_?"

Kirby shrugged nonchalantly. "Might have been one of the minions. I called one of them to retrieve the information files."

"He spilled water on such an important thing?" Haddle scoffed, clearly unimpressed. "He should be fired. Banned forever."

"No, it's fine. I was planning on making new information files anyway; these ones are pretty old, aren't they?" Kirby thoughtfully fingered the smudged area. "Well, you might as well tell me what Midori's species is right now. I'll take notes and go and look into it by myself."

"I'm a scoroo!" Midori exclaimed proudly. "I'm an awesome scoroo!"

Kirby nodded, jotting it down. (Bandana Dee was amazed at Kirby's handwriting. Whenever Bandana Dee wrote quickly, it was chicken scrawl. Kirby managed to write quickly _and_ neatly.) "Well, what about your tail? Waddle doo-like appearance?"

This time, Midori blinked. "What _about_ my tail?"

"Is it normal? Part of your species?"

"Umm." After a while of thinking, Midori nodded. "Yep! It is. Everybody from my species has this kind of tail. Though there are different colours."

"Then why is yours iridescent?" Haddle always made the chance to abuse someone's words.

"It's not iridescent, it's a bubble tail!" Midori protested.

"Stop fooling yourself."

"But bubbles are fun!"

"And your waddle doo-like appearance?" Kirby quickly asked.

"Oh, we're a hybrid." Mitchizuka shrugged. "A waddle doo and some experimental scorpion, dunno. Never paid attention before I moved to this castle."

"We're just calling it Castle," Kirby reminded. Their new name for Castle Dedede was going to take a long time to fit in. "Anyways, thank you for answering those questions, Mitchizuka. I'm going to have to talk with the others now, so I'll see you next time."

"Bubble tail," Midori reminded.

"You don't _have_ a bubble tail," Haddle spat. "Quit your pipe dreams."

* * *

**24 May 2014 SGT:** How cruel of you Haddle.

Before I start ranting, I'll let you know that my PMing system is going haywire; I can send some people PMs and some I can't. Those who are expecting a reply and haven't gotten one, either wait or bug me for my spare email.

All right, so I'm _assuming_ you know the EX levels in Triple Deluxe. Well, since I like to rush through everything then replay the game to get 100%, I _just_ got level 3 EX. Okay, quit looking at me like that, I'm slow because I have a life.

And you know in the snowy region, you can enter those igloos, right? Yes, yes you can. Nothing escapes the eye of TechnoDee.

To shorten my enthusiasm _THOSE WADDLE DEES IN THE IGLOO WERE ADORABLE I MUST WRITE A ONESHOT ABOUT THEM I MUST_

Also I don't capitalise species names anymore, you can probably see. They're not pronouns so they shouldn't be.


	18. History-Hating

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighteen: History-Hating**

_Midori hates history. A lot._

* * *

"_Aiiieeeeee_!"

"Midori… what—"

"Help help help help help _help_!" Midori wailed. Bandana Dee had paused in his walking. Zephyr and Peap stood by Bandana Dee, blinking continuously. "Our databanks!"

"Midori, I'm not a programmer." Zephyr's eyes suddenly lit up and Bandana Dee's remark.

Midori shook his head. "Nononono! This is awful! Our databanks are glitching out!"

"I just said I'm not a programmer and I don't think Zephyr or Peap can do any programming either—"

"Actually, I may be able to do something." Bandana Dee turned to blink at the puffball. "What happened?"

Midori didn't question Zephyr. "I don't know, there are a bunch of _weird_ codes and really weird symbols and stuff! Actually, now that I think about it, I _do_ know those weird symbols, but they're all in a row! Like the equal sign and the percentage sign, and all these funny signs!"

Zephyr twirled her parasol absentmindedly. "All right, then, why don't you show me?" Also meant: _I really don't know what you're saying so just show me_.

They headed down to one of the many rooms of many things which Bandana Dee didn't really get. He could use the camera room, but he definitely didn't get anything about programming. Peap freaked out at the machines. Midori pointed at a screen with green coding on it.

Which Bandana Dee agreed with, what the heck were those symbols on the screen, anyway?

"Ah, this is just some inserted files." Zephyr smiled brightly. (Still creepy.) "Your Majesty was redoing the information files, yes? He just made some new ones today."

"…Then why does it appear like this?" Evidently, Midori didn't get anything as he blankly stared at it.

"Oh, he just hasn't coded everything yet, that's all. He went for a break, didn't he?"

"…_Oh_. Right. He asked someone to code it but that someone kind of fainted." Midori shrugged. "He had a marching exercise earlier on. Can't blame him, Bandana Dee had too much sugar."

"I did _not_," Bandana Dee protested. "I had salty things for breakfast. Don't be ridiculous."

"No, you had lollipops," Midori retorted.

"They were salty _biscuits_, Midori, for goodness' sake, _you_ had lollipops for breakfast, not me!"

"…Really?"

"_Yes_."

"If you're done talking, I've finished up the coding." Zephyr smiled again (_still_ creepy). "Why don't you have a look at it? He modified Midori's information, a lot. Wouldn't you want to check if it is correct?"

Bandana Dee nodded and clicked on the file. (At this point, Peap had run out of the room because of the "scary machines". Zephyr would hunt him down later, anyway.) It got a bit too wordy, so he scrolled down and _pretended_ to check when he ran into an image.

He glanced over at where Midori was wrestling with a machine pincer. "…All your species is that kind of light green, right?"

"In my generation!" Midori confirmed.

"…Then why is this scoroo thing orange?"

"Oh. Right." Midori glanced over at the screen thoughtfully. "…Uh, scoroo _used_ to be eighty-percent waddle doo, but I think there was a point in time where we were experimented on..? It added some funky chemicals to our system, so bleh, I don't really get it. These older scoroo used to be able to fire lasers like waddle doos, too, but after the experiment we couldn't, but in exchange we have more liquids in our tail. We're zero-percent waddle doo now, but we still keep the appearance. I suppose the crazy scientist didn't tamper with that."

"…You don't sound very sure, you know," Zephyr said helpfully, smile uncertain.

"I _hate_ history."

* * *

**25 May 2014 SGT:** And bonus cookies to people who can infer what Zephyr's ability is.

What? Why do my characters have abilities? _All _of my characters have abilities, thank you very much. All right, Minura's an exception because he's supposed to be a wimp. Valid reason.

Replies

**taco999o999**: No problem! It saved me the brain usage, anyways.

**Nashew**: The waddle dees were adorable I can't even *breathes in paper bag*


	19. Radios and Jelly Beans

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Nineteen: Radios and Jelly Beans**

_Mitchizuka calls jelly beans his children only because that's how much he loves them._

* * *

Bandana Dee was at the living room of his dormitory with Haddle and Mitchizuka when Midori burst into the room and stalked to the kitchen. Feeling something was off, Bandana Dee checked the time—it was only two. Midori came back to the dormitory at _five_, usually.

"So, what happened?" Bandana Dee asked curiously.

"I dunno. I was working when one of those delivery dees were giving out some letter to every shop and the letter told me to stay in my room because something happened and no one should be wandering around at this kind of time." The refrigerator door swung open and Midori tore open a bag of jelly beans, sulkily eating it on a stool.

"I just had a look outside," Haddle piped up. "No one's in the Minion Hallways, even the transporters have stopped running."

The radio blared. "—now we have King Kirby to give out a special announcement." Mitchizuka instinctively turned up the volume, waiting the news eagerly as Midori furiously shoved jelly beans in his mouth.

"I'm terribly sorry for having to close down all the shops and force everyone into their rooms—" Kirby began.

"You _should_ be sorry," Midori's voice cut through. "Shame on you."

"_Midori_," Bandana Dee nagged, frowning.

"—was an outbreak of an illness that was just reported. Stay indoors."

"Why was I not informed?" Stiffening, Haddle gripped tightly on a nearby convenient pencil that was about to face its doom.

"…Um, because he didn't want you to get sick. Probably." Bandana Dee tried to calm Haddle down—it wasn't working.

"I'm a _healer_. I will not fall to such idiotic traps." Oh. Well. He just rubbed the wound with salt.

"Well, maybe this is a really bad illness!"

_Snap_. Oh, why must the cruel fate be upon you, o pencil? Poor you.

"I'm a _healer_," Haddle repeated, releasing the pencil that was now split into two. "If _I_ don't do the healing, _who_ will?"

"Please, Haddle," Midori mocked, stuffing another jelly bean into his mouth, "maybe he got sick of your elephant ego and decided to get someone else to do it."

"Hey, I have a suggestion: _shut up_. Unless you _want_ me to pull out that eyeball and tail of yours, that is. I'm more than willing to."

Mitchizuka yawned. Then he stared around the room. "Ah, whatever. We're just supposed to stay in our dormitories, right? I'm gonna go and head for the computer, then." He paused in his tracks. "…After I eat my jelly beans."

The scoroo on the stool tilted his head, as if he was not fuming and stuffing jelly beans into his mouth and sulking just five seconds ago. "…Jelly beans?"

"Yeah, my jelly beans. Why?"

"Ah, so those were _yours_. No wonder." After a satisfied nod, Midori continued shoving them into his mouth.

"…Holy—_you better leave my children alone you stupid lobster_!" Mitchizuka cried, leaping (flying) towards the kitchen to his stolen packet of sugar.

Then Haddle got mad when he saw Mitchizuka had bumped into his jar of pickles and dropped them, and then the three started some stupid sissy catfight or something to that effect. Bandana Dee turned the volume of the radio up and left them to claw their eyeballs out.

* * *

27 May 2014 SGT: And this begins the arc of mysterious viruses. So we'll do something fancy like:

Arc: The Virus of Un-Mystery

Anyways, I un-bolded the date that serves as the start of my author's note simply because I'm going by this rule: **bold** for highly important things and _italics_ for emphasis. I don't like using underline because I think it's highly unattractive so.

And I also have some capitalising and proper nouns business on my profile page. If you're feeling like a zombie and generally don't know what to do with your life, go and read it.


	20. The Great Stubbornness

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty: The Great Stubbornness  
**

_Haddle always knows what's fishy._

* * *

Haddle got bored very fast.

"That's it. I'm out of here. Freaky illnesses don't just _suddenly_ get reported through a freaking radio and not one that has to make every shop and the freaking _clinic_ close down. I am going to the prison cells." Haddle dragged himself over to the door.

Mitchizuka flung himself over at Haddle and yanked at his wings. "No! You can't go, Haddle, that was Kirby's commands! What would be in the prison cells, anyway?"

The healer huffed. "Suspicious things. I saw R. Bonkers taking guard duty, and I don't trust him."

"None of us do," Bandana Dee reminded in a friendly manner. (Or _quite_ friendly.) "Haddle, stay in the dormitory."

"You're _not_ my _mother_."

"No, I'm not your _mother_, I'm your commander. Stay in the dormitory."

"_No_."

"Haddle—"

"Look." Haddle flung Mitchizuka off his wings and whipped round to glare full-on at the retaliating waddle dee. "There is something suspicious going on and if I find that there is another Bonkers revolution, R. Bonkers' dick is going and _I_ am going to take charge of that. I don't believe a random illness would pop out without _me_, the _number-one healer in the castle_, noticing. There would be more patients coming in, but the chart of patients have been the same as _always_."

Bandana Dee sighed, twirling his spear musingly. "Well, it does sound kinda suspicious, when you put it _that_ way, but I'm still not convinced you should go."

Haddle's glare didn't falter (Haddle's glare _never_ faltered). "You do know how Kirby works his system? If somebody reports a contagious illness that's highly dangerous, Kirby will tell everyone to stay in their rooms while he confirms it. He might be too late."

"I don't think that works that way."

"It _happens_. At least I have a working brain. Unlike you. In any case, I'm leaving, and if you feel like tagging along, feel free to do so." Haddle swung open the door and stalked out into the Minion Hallways.

Bandana Dee re-gripped his spear, nodded at the unusually silent Midori, and then dragged the other two out into the Minion Hallways and followed Haddle.

* * *

29 May 2014 SGT: Arc: The Virus of Un-Mystery

Filler because I'm too lazy to write some drama crap now. And I'm too lazy because I had a nap. And if I have a nap I'll feel to sluggish to do anything afterwards.

Though, if I _don't_ take a nap, I'll just be even sluggish-er, so it's a no-win situation.


	21. Squeaky-Clean Floors

**Minion: A Few Hundred ****Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-One: Squeaky-Clean Floors**

_Bandana Dee is a clean freak._

* * *

"Haaaaaaadle."

"No."

"I didn't even say anything," Midori whined, plodding after the healer sullenly. Haddle made no retaliation. "When are we gonna geeeet there?"

"If I tell you you'll stop drawling out your ridiculously drawled-out words."

The scoroo didn't even think twice. "Deal," he responded immediately.

"In a few minutes."

"That's not a good answer!"

"Then leave me alone."

"Whhaaaat."

Bandana Dee sighed, and Mitchizuka mimicked his action. "Look, let's not waste time. We came here solely to check on the bimbo for a gorilla, right? Let's just get this over with." Haddle turned around to glare at him momentarily. "What? There's hot chocolate waiting back at the dormitory. Can't miss that."

Too bad, Bandana Dee. You gave Haddle the wrong answer. "_Yes_, you _can_, if you _tried_, which you're _not_. Now you better shut your cakehole before I help you to it, and I'll make sure to add twenty-percent pain."

"Twenty-percent sugar sounds nicer," Bandana Dee muttered, but shut up all the same.

Bandana Dee didn't like being in the prison cells by himself. The prisoners looked like they might jump out anytime (which they might). Haddle simply ploughed through the corridors without giving a simple care and continued walking across the slimy floor.

Bandana Dee would wash his feet _very_ thoroughly later.

"D'you hear that?" Midori suddenly tensed up, glancing around. "…Maybe it's just my imagination?"

"Lies," Mitchizuka retorted. "I heard it, too."

"Heard _what_?" Bandana Dee looked around.

"Creaking noises." Midori's answer was extremely vague. Wow. Thank you.

"And footsteps." No, Mitchizuka, shut up and stop, Bandana Dee thought, it's getting creepy.

…Hm, why was his shadow so big? Was he that fat, or was is even his own shadow? Was Haddle flying above him?

…Oh. No. Crap.

Okay _so_ he managed to whirl around to see a grizzly bear thing swiping down at him only to get smacked square in the face by something… fast. Bandana Dee couldn't see.

"…B-Bandana Dee? A-Are you o-okay?" All right. Analysis one: Stuttering voice. Peap or Minura. Analysis two: Not excessively nervous. Minura couldn't have beat that grizzly… bear… thing. Had to be Peap. And Zephyr.

"Do you see what I mean?" Zephyr suddenly said exasperatedly, but her words were pointed straight at Peap. She blinked, turning to them with a smile. "Oh, I'm sorry. Peap just didn't want to believe me when I said something was wrong. Even Minura agreed, but I suppose he was too scared to come down on his own, hm?"

Yeah. Probably. "So why are you down here?" Bandana Dee asked, before realising that she had already half-answered his question when she was talking earlier.

Nevertheless, she repeated herself. "I found that something was rather suspicious, so I tried contacting everybody I knew," she began, "but Spaggy was busy. Wildfire was also attending to some matters. Minura picked up, however, and also agreed that something is amiss." A pause for emphasis. "He did not say he would come down and join us, though. I thought he would."

Ugh. No. Too confusing, Bandana Dee decided. Midori bounced from foot to foot. "So what's happening here?"

She offered another smile. "I know just about as much as you do."

"So why did you find it fishy?" Haddle demanded.

"No virus has ever suddenly attacked us like that. Is that not wrong?" She didn't wait for an answer. "There has to be something going on. Also, I confirmed with Your Majesty who reported the incident."

"_Who_." Prime question. The person who reported it could have just lied or something.

She smiled. No reply.

Ugh.

"W-We'll stay here," Peap squeaked. "…Um, make sure nobody else comes down here, at least, not someone untrustworthy."

"Oh, don't worry," Zephyr called out to them as they continued walking down the slimy hallway, "I've already solved it all. Your mastermind is hiding right behind at the end. You won't miss him, definitely. Keep walking."

Not very reassuring, but at least they knew they were getting somewhere.

Bandana Dee was also going to get the floor cleaned. No question.

* * *

31 May 2014 SGT: Hm, well, I started playing Dangan Ronpa. That's a start.

But Monokuma needs to keep his dirty jokes for himself. I'm at chapter _two_ and he's made _two_ of those so far.

As a bonus he once talked about sex-crazed teenage maniacs and humping plastic bottles. Do not. Ask me. Why. Because I know. But I will not say anything.

Also, remember while you're PMing, _don't_ start talking about _your_ life (because frankly I almost do not care) or _brag_ (because I will sock you in the face when I can and I will make sure it will be _painful_). Dear Guilty Person, I know you are reading this. And I hope I am making you feel guilty. I very much hope so.


	22. Bloody Things

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Bloody Things**

_Midori has a habit of freaking out in the really unnecessary times to freak out._

* * *

"_WAAAAAH we're all gonna dieeeee_!"

"If anything kills us here, Midori, it's your screaming."

"_NOOOOOOO_!"

"Maybe you could be nicer," Bandana Dee suggested. Wait. Scrap that, Haddle was anything but nice.

"Look, we're nearly at the end, okay? Now shut up and just let us walk in peace. I need space." And with that, Haddle shoved Midori off his wings. End of Midori's sad tale.

Slimy halls. Ugh.

Bandana Dee glanced back at the prisoners, and noticed something very, _very_ strange, then squinted, stopped, and stared.

The three Ss. To be applied, always.

"Uh… why did you stop?" Mitchizuka asked nervously, wringing his hands. His hidden question was: _What creepy thing is going on?_

"I forgot to leave my will at home," Midori suddenly realised, and with that, he commenced a frenzy attack directed at Haddle. Sadly, it was short-lived, and Haddle kicked him off.

"No, the prisoners are just huddled." Haddle folded his arms, and Bandana Dee added, "In a corner."

The waddle doo jumped up and down. "Yeah! They're in some sort of depression state or something. I dunno."

Midori cleared his throat. "I need out of here. Fast." Then, in a much, _much_, much, _much_ louder voice, he screamed, "_WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BLOODY FAGGOTS?_"

Bandana Dee would be lying if he said he didn't flinch. "…Uh… maybe that wasn't the best approach." It sure had drawn the prisoners' attention, at least. "And they're not bloody faggots, Midori. That's an insult to... well, uh, you know."

"Everyone is a bloody bloody faggot," Midori declared. (New-found confidence somehow.) "It doesn't matter how I speak to them. Why. Are. You. In. A. Bloody. Corner."

"If you say 'bloody' one more time you eyeball is going to be the next bloody thing," Haddle threatened impatiently.

"W-Why should we tell you?" the prisoner—who was in the cell in front of them—muttered.

"You. Bloody. _FAGGOT_."

All right, so Haddle punched his eye and Midori flipped and screamed and ran off into the next hallway. That… is… all… that… happened.

"They're not going to tell us," Bandana Dee said exasperatedly, sighing. "We just better move on. Midori can fend for himself, but he does reckless things."

"Agreed," Haddle scoffed. "Are all the prison doors locked?"

"I'll stay and check," Mitchizuka volunteered, wandering off down the hallway. "Catch up to you in a minute."

"…I think we should move on," Bandana Dee piped up when Haddle was silent. "We better not let Midori run off on his own, I mean. He could kill somebody."

"After I punched his eyeball? Unlikely."

"Actually, it's highly unlikely that Midori would go crazy and melt everything in his path, including the culprit, so…"

Something was amiss. Something was _veeeeery_ amiss.

And then Bandana Dee couldn't place his finger on it. Wonderful.

"Hey, did you check the duty time slots earlier? They have the name of the guards of the current day, right?"

"Right," Haddle confirmed, then squinted. Midori was up ahead, but he was shrieking ("_AAAAAHHHH!_") and he wasn't moving much.

"Did you check where R. Bonkers' time slot and hallway? There's one guard for every hallway, right? Because I think we just passed the hallway that he was supposed to tend to."

"Bloody faggot," Haddle muttered under his breath.

* * *

**1 July 2014 SGT**

_REWRITTEN (17 October 2014)_

_^note that what Midori says isn't supposed to be offensive to any particular group of people,_ _he's using the word "faggot" as a general insult. He could just go ahead and replace it with "asshole" and there'd be no difference._


	23. Contagious Screams

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Contagious Screams**

_The two "Ms" begin their freak-out session._

* * *

"H-Haddle, I think I forgot to write my will," Bandana Dee nervously informed, walking behind a big distance from Haddle.

"Then you just have to stay alive so you won't _need_ a will," Haddle snapped.

"But I'm gonna _dieeee_."

"You brought your spear, didn't you? You can be _a_ _bit_ helpful in that way."

"If I didn't bring my spear, I'd be freaking out to hell and back. …What do you mean '_a bit_'."

Haddle snorted. "Mean just that. See? That's R. Bonkers up ahead."

This added fuel to the bonfire of Bandana Dee's worry. "_Holy shit_."

"You're always saying shit isn't holy."

"That's 'cause it isn't. But when _I_ say 'holy shit' it's an expression of my majestic shock," Bandana Dee sniffled.

"Your shock is not majestic."

Their extremely casual conversation was interrupted as Midori came running like he was being chased by a haunted chainsaw. "_ISDAMONKEY!_" he shrieked, only to be stared at.

"We _know_ R. Bonkers is up there and we kick ass," Bandana Dee said curtly. Sounded more like a reassurance than a fact.

"Quit chickening."

"Not chickening. Being smart."

"Not." Haddle let out his official signature snort accompanied with the haughty lifting of head. A hundred-percent insulting. "R. Bonkers quit your monkeying and stop whatever foolish crap you have in your head."

Only _then_ did he realise that crazy, flailing Midori had teammates around him. Then he pulled out some sort of metal thing-thing and began speaking rapidly. Also completely ignoring Haddle. Which was a _very_ bad choice because no one had the right to ignore Haddle.

"_Look at me when I'm talking to you, you swine!_" Haddle snapped, propelling off from the ground steadily into the air. Mitchizuka then arrived, saw the scene, screamed, and Midori instinctively screamed, and the latter blinked, then bonked Mitchizuka on the head.

"You idiot! Why the heck did _you_ scream?!"

"_What_? _You_ were screaming too!" Mitchizuka protested.

"You screamed first! Screaming is contagious!"

Bandana Dee watched the (other and more important) scene unfold as Haddle practically rammed his fist into… well, where _did_ he sock R. Bonkers? You know, he was standing so far away, and the source of noise pollution beside him was really distracting.

Anyways, right after the Haddle punch, R. Bonkers flew right through the wall, into the open space of outside-the-castle. Haddle snorted (again).

"We should contact Your Majesty, you know." And the _only_ person who referred to Kirby as "Your Majesty" was Zephyr. She frowned. (At least it wasn't a creepy smile. Thank God.)

"Why?" Haddle demanded.

"Get the Defence Squad ready." Matched with a sweet yet annoyed tone none could master. "In case anything happens. His behaviour was not one to overlook."

"'Course not," Mitchizuka sniffed. "Been a long time since the Defence Squad did anything."

"I am offended," Bandana Dee scoffed. "Anyway, that's still a good idea. Is my spear with me?"

"You just said you had it," Haddle pointed out.

"I'm just checking. Does anybody teleport? I don't feel like moving."

Silence. Then a dainty tilt of a head. "No, I don't believe so."

"So mean," Bandana Dee sniffled.

* * *

5 July 2014 SGT: **READ THIS YOU PEASANTS did I get your attention? Good.**

This is the part where you'll have to start memorising stuff. Anyways, Kirby divides the castle into a few squads (which break down into smaller squads, which will be gone into detail later) for the sake of it. I'll be going into detail about them for the next few author's note, so if you don't read them..? Your loss.

Firstly, **Assault Squad**: Lives up to its name. Guaranteed high attacking and usually high speed. Rare assassinations.

**Defence Squad**: For defending the castle and that is its _sole_ purpose. They're usually tanks with high defence, and okay-ish attacking. They stay in the castle and usually don't go out. Highest in population.

**Medical Squad**: They basically just heal injured people.

**Investigation Squad**: Collecting data, spying, and generally very hard work. Members in the Investigation Squad are usually smart and have an odd way of thinking. Quite low in population.

**Communication Squad**: They simply communicate. That is all.

Note that only when the squads have been _called to duty_ that this activates. Otherwise, you could consider them "standby".


	24. Fiend of Apples

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Fiend of Apples**

_The Assault Squad uses anything and everything for assault._

* * *

"…Where are we heading?"

"Oh, to the throne room."

"Why?"

"To report the incident. Would you not want to report it?"

Obviously, any normal person with a semblance of a brain would say "yes", but even that day, the entire group wasn't sure if the waddle doo _had_ one.

"But what if he kills us?" Mitchizuka panicked.

"We have Haddle."

"He still might _kill_ us."

"No, Mitchi, he won't." Bandana Dee barrelled against the throne room's door. "Well, you know what? You can say 'holy shit' now, Mitchizuka."

"Holy shit—what happened?" Mitchizuka peered at the door curiously, shoving Bandana Dee out of the way unintentionally and fiddling with the door knob. "Oh. Right. I see what you mean. Holy shit."

Haddle did not bother to go nicely and ask politely like a nice little kindergartener who knew their manners and respect. "Just what happened to the _stupid_ door?" he snarled. "Is it growing maggots, by any chance? Rotting? Growing mould?" (None of these suggestions sounded appealing to the waddle doo. Mitchizuka immediately stepped away from the door.)

The scoroo next to Haddle scoffed. "It's locked." _Obviously._

"Then we either seek Kirby out or inform the squads by ourselves. I suggest we split up." Zephyr placed her stub over her mouth musingly. "Peap and I will inform the squads. You four will search for Kirby."

"Uh, shouldn't it be the other way round?" After all, there were _four_ of them, so they could handle one squad for one…

"No. Two of you won't know how to handle it." Well, thank you! "We'll probably handle it faster."

Thus, the day led to nothing but tragedy. As they were strolling (they should be running, shouldn't they?) down the one of the hallways, something red and round was fired at them. Mitchizuka initially assumed it was an organ and shot down the hallway screaming.

Of course it wasn't an organ. It was an apple.

"What was _that_?" Haddle hissed, scanning around the area. (Of course, nobody cared what Mitchizuka was up to. If Mitchizuka freaked out, he was perfectly capable of defending his sorry self.)

"One of the members of the Assault Squad," Bandana Dee said dismissively. "They use anything as weapons. She likes sharp things like knives and scissors, though."

"An apple is anything _but_ sharp."

"Doesn't matter. Oh, speaking of apples, I need to go and buy pears later." And even the trickiest situation, Bandana Dee still cared so much for his groceries.

* * *

9 July 2014 SGT: …Well I'm dragging things out quite a long while aren't I.

This arc will most likely be finished in the next two chapters. And you'll see the "Fiend of Apples" sometime later. Anyways.

**Assault Squad**: They take charge of attacking other places, once-in-a-lifetime assassinations, and just attacking. Some snipe, some do up-close combat, but they usually get the job done efficiently.

(fiendofapplesisapsychopathdonttouchher)


	25. Spikey Onions

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Spikey Onions**

_Onions are not supposed to be spikey._

* * *

"He isn't in the throne room then _WHERE IS HEEEE_?" (They each had a particular knack for shrieking and making high-pitched noises during stress periods. Except for Haddle who used it more as some sort of battle cry.)

"Midori, you _don't_ need to let out a scream that carries over the sea," Bandana Dee reminded. "He's probably in his room or something."

"He has an office room and a bedroom, you realise." Curse you, Haddle-logic!

"Yeah, then we'll check both," Bandana Dee replied. "I'm pretty sure Mitchizuka isn't going to get into any trouble. …I think. Anyways, he's just about the least of our concerns now. Er, let's…check the room first."

Haddle glared at him.

"The _bed_room."

The reason why they were having a lot of trouble looking for Kirby was because when Dedede was still king, he was usually being a sloth back in the throne room. Kirby probably had his preferences and chose to stay elsewhere—well, _that_ made sense. The throne room was kinda stuffy. Bandana Dee heard Kirby was going to renovate it sometime (throne rooms could be renovated that easily?) but he wasn't in charge of the renovation, so he didn't get a lot of details.

The door leading to the king's bedroom used to be painted red and blue, but upon Kirby's arrival, the painting group of the waddle dees (the Painters, they were often called) hurried to repaint it pink and darker pink.

Midori had the honour of knocking on the door, and after three knocks, Kirby swung the door open with a curious tilt of his head. "What is it?"

"_He's here!_ Oh, thank the forsaken jelly!" Midori cried, leaping forward to try and hug (better term: glomp) Kirby. Unfortunately, the pink puffball took a simple sidestep and Midori flew and crashed into the bedroom. "_AAAHHH! Oh, holy crap, I'm too young to die! Get—me—out—of—here!_"

"He's fine if he can scream like that," Bandana Dee reassured. "_And crap is _so_ not holy, twit!_" Ah, Bandana Dee's daily reminder.

"_Wait, what the heck is this thing?_"

"Is he poking around in your stuff?" Haddle squinted.

"It's fine. I don't have anything I need to keep a secret in there." Kirby glanced back at where Midori had fell—into a pile in some of his cushions—then momentarily paused. "Don't move around too much, Mr Scoroo, there's something kinda dangerous in there. Anyways, what did you need me for?"

"Well, for one, did you happen to hear a screaming waddle doo run by?"

"…I think so."

"Ah, that's great." Bandana Dee nodded. "We have a rough idea on where he could be. Secondly, has anyone informed you of the suspicious behaviour?"

Midori's cry pierced through the air once again. "_Oh, what the heck! Is this a…_"

The pink puffball frowned. "…'Suspicious behaviour'? Well, no."

"Well, you see, there's this one guy who—"

"_EEEEE! It is one of THOSE THINGS OH MY GOSH HELP MEEEE!_"

"We better help him," Kirby advised. "I think he just discovered our in-progress spikey-onion."

Of course, none of them understood what Kirby meant. "'Spikey onion'? 'In progress'?" Bandana Dee frowned.

"They're currently being examined by the scientists downstairs. I discovered it in one of the yards earlier today. There were three, so I sent two down for testing and kept one in my room." Kirby retreated back into his room and came out with a Midori with some sort of spikey white thing attached to the side of his face. "We're just going to pull it out. Like this." And then he yanked out the spikey…thing.

"_IT HURTS!_ Oh my god Haddle if I'm bleeding I will kill myself," Midori sniffed.

"The spikey onion is weird, you see. I got it on my hand earlier and when I pulled it out my hand didn't bleed." Kirby gestured to his right stub. "They're examining that, too." Then he placed the spikey onion in a plastic container and turned his attention back to them. "Anyway, what was that you were saying?"

* * *

14 June 2014 SGT: Tomorrow's the final chapter of the arc be glad.

Do you know _everyone_ was all over E3? _Everyone_? I was just doing my _LEAVE ME ALONEEE_.

Also did you know the first chapter of _100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom_ has _2000_ _freaking views_ I was like _whoa shit_.

**Defence Squad**: When called to duty, they just float around the castle and wait for the attackers to come and that's when they defend the castle. (Hence the name.) Largest in population. They're usually sturdy and have an okay-ish attack, but usually aren't the quickest creatures around. (In fact, possibly the slowest.)


	26. The Door-Slamming End

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Six: The Door-Slamming End**

_Not all finales are dramatic._

* * *

"The onions are _not_ dangerous."

"It stuck onto me. Like—a—piece—of—gum," Midori sulked. "And it hurt."

"But you didn't bleed." Haddle had left to go and find Zephyr and Peap to inform them about them finding Kirby and informing him about everything. It left Bandana Dee and Midori at Kirby's room, because they were waiting for Mitchizuka to conveniently run by and they would spring out and catch him. Unlikely, but possible.

The scoroo did not take kindly to that statement. "Well, even if I _didn't_, it still hurt!" he whined, flailing his stubs indignantly although it was getting him nowhere. Kirby didn't seem to mind them crashing his place, so they were hanging around in his room.

"Be quiet. At least you didn't die."

Bandana Dee was never the smoothest in his words. "_WHAAAAT_?!" Midori shrieked, which led to him flinging himself on the bed and planting his face into a pillow and shrieking. Midori's flip-outs were very peculiar and were not to be questioned.

"He was trying to get Dedede out, wasn't he?" Kirby mused from his chair, scribbling down some words with a pencil on a sheet of paper which already had tons of pencil marks on it. It looked like he was doodling something on the back of an extremely old document that was most likely unneeded.

"_What_?" Bandana Dee squinted, rethinking R. Bonkers' behaviour and the prisoners. "Oh. Probably. But it doesn't explain the prisoner's behaviours."

Kirby frowned thoughtfully. "That means R. Bonkers probably told them he'd break them all out and have some sort of revolution, or something like that. It's the best explanation I can think of."

Well, damn. Kirby had a really high intelligence. "...Then shouldn't we go and guard the prisoners right now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I know where R. Bonkers is headed to." Kirby whipped out a map and swiftly found the location he was looking for. The map had columns and rows—something Bandana Dee wasn't quite used to. "The Key Room. D-7 on this map. He's going to get the Master Prison Key to unlock every prison cell so he can start his revolution."

"...So why aren't we doing anything?"

His reply was Kirby standing up and striding out of the room. Bandana Dee followed and Midori leapt out of the bed and trailed after them (after a shrill cry of "_WHY ARE YOU LEAVING MEEEE_?!").

"Because Zephyr and Peap are there."

"That doesn't justify anything!"

"Well, it does." Kirby allowed Bandana Dee to analyse his words over for a while. "Haddle's headed there."

...Oh.

By the time they reached the Key Room, R. Bonkers was fiddling with the doorknob and seemingly trying to break in. Kirby sat down nonchalantly, like waiting for a movie to begin while the advertisements rolled on. There was a long moment of silence (interrupted only by the fiddling of the doorknob) until the door slammed open and squashed the bonkers to bye-bye land.

"Can you _knock_?" Haddle demanded, then looked at them briefly. "Oh, hi. Who was there trying to get in? We locked the door 'cause we were tidying up the keys and stuff and we'd rather not have any surprise guests."

"No one was trying to get in," Kirby said placidly, "but we found R. Bonkers. He's right there, behind the wall."

"Oh. Why's he passed out? Doofus."

Kirby tilted his head. "Oh, I don't know. He burst in and then suddenly fainted."

* * *

20 June 2014 SGT: **oi dis awther has a kwestion**

If you've used your eyeballs carefully and looked, you'd have realised I use the term "puffballs" instead of "kirbys". That's because that time I wasn't sure if I should capitalise non-proper nouns or not, but _now_ I've decided that I _won't_. If I _had_ decided to capitalise those non-proper nouns, then I wouldn't use the term "kirbys" because if I capitalised it it would probably create confusion for the...less-smart ones.

So, question: use "puffballs" or "kirbys"?

And before any of you do this shit, _no one _is to say _anything_ like "oh you decide you're the author". I'm asking the question because _I can't decide_ for the love of life. (So if you tell me to decide, you're basically taking my question and throwing back the question with convolution. It's ridiculous. Don't.)

**Medical Squad**: There isn't even anything to say about them. They just heal people who get injured during fights or whatever.

(Kirby is lying to Haddle because he doesn't want Haddle to feel bad for knocking someone out because he doesn't know the way of Haddle)


	27. Elimination of the Cursed

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Elimination of the Cursed**

_The Assault Squad is called up for the most ridiculous and most reasonable jobs._

* * *

Bandana Dee found himself being dragged by an over-enthusiastic Midori.

"Didi, I _know_ you're in the Assault Squad and all"—more dragging—"and it would be real nice to visit them"—friction getting on his nerves—"and I'm sure Mitchizuka feels the same way, but"—this time, he received a glare from the waddle doo—"can we _not_?"

"Not what?" Midori asked, puzzled as he glanced back at Bandana Dee sideways. Unfortunately, Haddle was not there to save their prats, he was busy at his stupid clinic. So they were left being kidnapped by a scoroo with somehow good intentions. Made perfect sense and was scarier than it sounded. No one liked being dragged around by a _scoroo_.

"...Like, not _visit_ them. Remember how Mitchizuka flipped when some goon threw an apple? What if it happens again? And there are _more_ goons in the entire Assault Squad!"

"Nah, it's just Zinnia. Zinnia's the only ones who throws scissors and stuff at people."

"She throws _scissors_? I'm backing out. No. No. _No_."

Mitchizuka just started wailing something stupid like "GOODBYE WORLD" instead of trying to convince Midori otherwise. Midori kicked the wooden doors open to the area where the Assault Squad members usually hung around when they were on standby.

Most of them just said some really half-assed greetings while Midori just beamed back cheerfully. The only drastic thing that happened was something shooting out from behind and landing in front of Midori.

"Diddy Kong! We have a mission!" There were already enough Kirby lookalikes (puffballs?) in the castle, and there was another one with the most hideous thing on its head. It was mainly a glossy green with orange feet—_why_ did they come in so many colours? "They said there's a cursed being within the recesses of this castle! _Hahahahaha_! We're gonna dismantle it!"

"_Destroy_ it," a rather unique-looking waddle dee corrected.

"Pfff, whatever! As long as we can screw the shit up, what we're gonna do to it doesn't matter!"

Bandana Dee gagged. "Didi, _explain_ the rhinoceros horn on her head!"

"_Rhinoceros_? Oi, who's speaking? That pipsqueak over there with the tacky bandana?" The glossy green Kirby lookalike held her head up haughtily. "Shut your mouth and let me educate you! I am _Zinnia_ who's a one-ability puffball and _that_ would be beetle, Sir Tacky-Banana!"

"It's a _bandana_," Bandana Dee snapped, before freezing. "_Holy shit the one who throws scissors_?"

"_Ding ding ding_! Uhh, not really scissors, anything in the one-meter range." And with that, she turned her attention away from the newly-named Sir Tacky-Banana. "Come on, bitches! We have a doughnut to decommission!"

"A doughnut?" Bandana Dee squinted as Midori dragged him and Mitchizuka to whatever destination they were headed to. There was less friction (did they lubricate the floor or something? Replace it with marble?) on the way there, and they ended up stopping at this room full of...

Those doughnuts that were once sold at Wildfire's bakery. The one made especially for some Dedede thing.

Okay, so _that_ wasn't bad to decommission.

* * *

22 June 2014 SGT: Nobody asks me how to decommission a doughnut. Or you're dead.

Okay, I'm not bolding this because it isn't super-de-duper important or anything, so. I'm sticking out with "puffballs" by the way. Done. No protests accepted.

When Zinnia says "one-ability puffball" she means that puffballs that have access to only one ability out of the entire set, _but_ they will _never_ drop/lose/whatever the heck you want the ability and its attacks are also stronger than Kirby's would be.

Zinnia's colouring is "emerald" from _Kirby and The Amazing Mirror_, so if you need any visualising, go and search that one up. On side notes, she _does_ have the beetle ability and she speaks really fast.

I plan to make one-ability puffballs for the new four abilities in _Kirby: Triple Deluxe_. And then I'm not going to bring up the one-ability archer because I _know_ you guys are going to squeal over it and if you do I will probably kill that OC off if you do. And _never_ bring up archer again. _Ever_. (one simple rule: no squealing in reviews)

**Investigation Squad**: When anything happens, they're called to go and investigate it. They can investigate things by going over to the site of whatever actually happened and checking things out, or they can go online and collect data or hack into accounts &amp;c, &amp;c. They usually have very peculiar abilities.


	28. Replacement Kirby

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Replacement Kirby**

_Just because Kirby is now king doesn't mean there won't be anymore invasions._

* * *

Bandana Dee positioned himself rather comfortably on his chair, and then the alarms rang.

It just so happened Mitchizuka decided to take a nap on the dormitory speaker, positioned in the top corner of the ceiling. It was pretty wide (enough for him to sleep on) and it would make a very nice bed if you didn't roll off and the announcements didn't ring.

The speaker _was_ high, which was why Mitchizuka had Midori's help.

_"Intruder alert!"_ it blared, and Mitchizuka shrieked (understandably) and flipped off the speakers involuntarily. Bandana Dee watched in half-amusement from the chair.

_"All members of the Defence Squad are to get into position immediately."_

"Well, you heard it, Mitchi," Bandana Dee sighed, reluctantly leaping out of his chair and tugged at the spear which was almost always fastened onto his back. The waddle sat on the floor, dazed, apparently still not fully recovered from the shock of literally falling from the top of the speaker. "We're going."

_"The Assault Squad is required to join the Defence Squad as well. The Medical Squad is required to be prepared for any healing."  
_

Due to Mitchizuka's lack of reaction, Bandana Dee dragged him out to their guarding positions. Thankfully, Mitchizuka didn't really need any weapon because his eyeball _was_ his weapon, and if his eyeball wasn't on his face, something was very wrong.

Bandana Dee was considerate enough to help him bring along his candy-filled satchel, of course.

They managed to get to their positions fast enough, despite Bandana Dee having to drag a waddle doo around his weight. They patiently waited at the hallway with a rather casual conversation when a skull-thing with a viking helmet carrying an axe tore through the wall, running past Bandana Dee and Mitchizuka with Zinnia hot in its heels.

"Oi, you little goddamned prick! You better come back here, so I can _skewer_ you!" she shrieked, and completely ignored the fact that Bandana Dee and Mitchizuka stood there like a couple of buffoons.

"They just broke the wall," Bandana Dee noted rather unaffectedly.

"Yeah. But when Kirby invaded, all the holes in the walls were fixed within the next twenty-four hours. And Kirby's Kirby, so it's probably half the time." Mitchizuka shrugged.

Then the wall next to Mitchizuka exploded and Mitchizuka was successfully covered in bricks.

Of course, some doofus stood on top of the pile of bricks. He really didn't know what he was doing.

Bandana Dee recognised him from the time he _nearly_ defeated Dedede when he was still king. Rockiest, the most sturdy rocky for the last few years, had videotaped the entire scene and Bandana Dee could still recognise the assailant's face.

"You should get off," Bandana Dee suggested.

"Tell me where Kirby is. _Now_." Meta Knight pointed this golden sword at Bandana Dee threateningly. Bandana Dee remained unfazed.

"No. _Really_. You should get off _now_. You're on top of the spot where Mitchizuka's eyeball is and it's really dangerous."

"What are you trying to—"

"_GET OFFA ME_!" screamed the waddle doo, and then let loose an electric blast right where Meta Knight was standing. Around twenty seconds later, Mitchizuka now stood in the middle of a bunch of bricks. "Oh, hi, Bandana Dee. What happened?"

"Oh, I was just chatting with some bugger."

"'Bugger'? Where is he now?"

Bandana Dee glanced up at the hole in the ceiling and pointed. "Somewhere up there."

* * *

23 June 2014 SGT: been contemplating these days whether i should bother beta-ing.

**Communication Squad**: They communicate using anything—machines or letters or whatever they need to use. They communicate with the villagers, other villages in another part of Pop Star, and if they feel the excessive need to, other planets. Though communicating with other planets costs a bomb.

Now. Since I _know_ y'all aren't going to bother scrolling through chapters to see all this information, now that I have it all here, I'll just paste them on my profile to save the trouble. I'll get round to it within the week. Actually, whenever I feel like it.


	29. The Pancake Tragedy

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Pancake Tragedy**

_They spend their mornings in rather peculiar ways._

* * *

When Bandana Dee woke up, he could wake up to three different things: Midori, Haddle, or the ceiling. (The middle was not preferred much, as kicking was always joined up with it.)

After he decided he should stop lazing around, he rolled out of bed. Literally. (On days he woke up on the wrong side...)

Then he'd crawl his way to the main room where Midori would be at the eating bar drinking hot chocolate or something like that and Haddle would be lounging on _any_ chair reading the newspapers. Mitchizuka would still refuse to get up, until Haddle punched him out of his sleep.

So Bandana Dee would take a seat next to Midori and eat pancakes, usually.

"How long does it take you to make pancakes?" Midori asked curiously, stirring his hot chocolate even though it had probably already gone cold.

"I dunno. Depends what mood I'm in."

"He's that kind of person who's mood-dependent," Haddle scoffed from the couch. "If he's annoyed, he'll be fast, if he's happy, he'll take his normal time, if he's just grouchy he'll take infinity. And more."

"Yeah." Bandana Dee jabbed at his pancakes with his fork, before cutting them neatly with his knife. And some weird entity possessed him that day because he happened to overuse his strength, ripped the pancakes a little too forcefully and sent the (thankfully plastic) plate to the ground.

With the pancakes.

Midori burst out laughing (and nearly spilled his own drink) as Bandana Dee stared down at the fallen pancakes and sniffled.

"...Ugh, I don't feel like making more pancakes, and I think the floor's gross."

"Should've nabbed it up quicker." Midori twirled his spoon absentmindedly. "Five-second rule."

"That's an excuse for clumsy klutzes who drop their food _all the time_ and have no sense of hygiene! So they made up _that_ stupid rule so they could eat fallen food—_I do not exist amongst those creepazoids_!"

"Just _eat_ it," Midori sighed. "Or else you won't have anything else to eat."

"Then I just won't have breakfast!"

"_You better eat breakfast!_" Haddle shrieked. Bandana Dee sniffed as he cleared his pancakes from the ground and shifted over to the rubbish bin and tossed them in.

"Fine. _Mum_."

"Well, if _you_ want to play _that_ way, _you stupid son_, then _fine_."

Midori choked on his hot chocolate. "Oh my god! He just rebounded your sarcasm! How did he do that?!"

"He's _Haddle_."

"Are you implying that he can do _everything_?"

"Well, probably."

After a few minutes Haddle decided to let his fist make contact with Mitchizuka's face, and after waking the waddle doo up, they left for duties.

* * *

1 July 2014 SGT: SCHOOL.

you would not believe what school does to you. it takes the energy out of you. takes the enthusiasm out of you. takes the epic out of you. takes the writing ability and ideas out of you. takes the life out of you. you think it's fine but when you start and do work again, you realise that school has taken away everything.

Anyways, we just missed the first anniversary of _Minion: 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom_ which _pffff whatever_ I wasn't even gonna do anything for it anyways.

I might do my drop-off-the-face-off-FFN-and-resurface-sometime-later thing again, but who knows.

I dunno, if you want more updates, then _you_ should go ahead and submit ideas—like any other normal person it's easier for me to start working on a foundation that's already been built. so.


	30. Where They Went

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty: Where They Went**

_They still exist. Of course.  
_

* * *

Giggle's jaws clamped over a sheep and chewed, cracking of bones heard through his scales.

Jillie cringed. She was sure Giggle saw her reaction of horror, but he completely ignored it. _"Giggle, _please_ don't eat passing-by sheep, it's rude. These sheep have an entire future ahead of them."_

_"Their future is to be eaten."_

_"No, it is not! How would you feel like if you were just eaten while you were taking a stroll?"_

Giggle rested his head against head against his paws, frowning thoughtfully. _"Well, that'd be a problem. Not that it really matters—that's why dragons are on top of the food chain."_ Shrugging, Giggle returned to spying on the sheep and leaping forward to chew them.

Now, Jillie would have not much of a problem with this if Giggle didn't splatter blood everywhere sometimes when he chewed on the fluffy innocent sheep. She frowned as she placed a bucket of dragon dribble aside.

_"That's rude."_

_"But I never said I was polite."_

Jillie sighed once again when Giggle lunged forward and mauled the sheep to death. _"Why do you have to eat sheep of all things? Why not vegetables?"_

_"Are you a vegetarian?"_

_"No."_

The silver dragon licked his claws. _"Then it's just about the same because you eat meat too."_

The ghost withdrew her statement. _"Actually, I think I'll become vegetarian now."_

* * *

2 July 2014 SGT: well that's something i can agree on if i ever visited an abattoir i'd probably become vegetarian too

I love writing these two in which they're doing such stupid things. Like this.

Oh, and...because I think I've never said it before, Jillie's appearance is basically ghost kirby. Done. End of story.

I have a bunch of all the character bios on Google Drive, so I might link it to my profile when I'm done _only if I'm feeling up to it_ because I usually don't. I only have these two left, though. Hmm.


	31. Crowd-Avoider

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-One:**** Crowd-Avoider**

_Bandana Dee isn't sure if Minura has some undiscovered phobia or is just weird in that sense, but he likes bothering him anyway._

* * *

If Mitchizuka was the lazy slob, Midori was the night-duty enthusiast, and Haddle was the one who made sure they didn't screw up, then Bandana Dee was the one who had to mother-hen everybody.

Which included buying groceries.

Bandana Dee usually went out the third day of the week because he was the freest on that day. Apparently, _his_ shopping time and _Minura's_ shopping time were around the same because Bandana Dee had bumped into Minura more than a few times.

Which is when Bandana Dee adopted Minura as a grocery-buying companion.

"Do you think these tomatoes look fresh? I mean, they're kind of dull. What colour _are_ tomatoes, actually? Are they supposed to be dull red or a _tiny_ little bit orange and mostly red? Hm..." Bandana Dee picked up a tomato for the fourth time and examined it.

Minura tried to avoid the flock of waddle dees by pressing himself up against the shelves of fruits. "Shouldn't you ask M-Midori about that kind of thing?"

"Yeah, and I _did_. But he just said to get the ones that looked good. But they _all_ look safe! And good! What tomatoes do you get?"

Anyone that seemed edible, actually. Minura shrugged.

"...Great." Bandana Dee threw a random tomato inside and then strode over somewhere else with Minura trailing after him (only because he felt obliged to listen to Bandana Dee's ramblings).

And when Bandana Dee returned to the dormitory, Midori nearly throttled him because apparently it was a bad tomato.

* * *

3 July 2014 SGT: **No update tomorrow****.** My sister's bringing the laptop out.

Okay, important stuff over.

This is a short chapter and took the hell of eight minutes to type, because I need short chapters to type. Because. (characters that i use for short chapters are most likely: jillie, giggle, minura, maybe spaggy if i feel like writing that idiot)

Ideas/prompts close on chapter 35, because I have a bunch of crap planned out.


	32. Late Lectures

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Late Lectures  
**

_In which they pay a visit to Zinnia's relatives._

* * *

"So, uh... why are we here?" Bandana Dee asked nervously.

Zinnia sucked on her (retractable?) teeth. "Dunno." Then, after a while, "'Cause Diddy Kong wanted to see Old Geezer."

"...'Old Geezer'?"

"Yeah. My grandpa. Always, always, always with Celeste. Drinking tea. Like useless butts." Zinnia ungracefully swung back her foot and rammed it into the wooden door, kicking it open. It amazingly stayed on its hinges.

"'Celeste'?"

"_Ugh_! Sir Tacky-Banana, shut your fat cakehole before I decide to shove a scissors up your ass." She kicked them in successfully. Midori's eyes lit up when he saw an old waddle dee with a—_was that a beard?_—cup of tea in his hands.

"Old Geezer!"

"Hmm? Uh, Celeste, you said somethin'..?" the waddle dee huffed, sipping on a cup of tea.

The brown puffball with even darker brown feet across the table sighed. "No, the visitors."

"Ehh? We got visitors..?"

"Oh my god. He's so stupid." Haddle sounded actually sadistically sympathetic. "It must be hard to stick out with him."

"No," the brown puffball replied. "He's just a bit slow. That's all."

"Well shit, Celeste, that's an understatement." Zinnia sat on her haunches (...?). "Well, I don't really see why Diddy Kong has business with Old Sluggy Jeezer, but carry on."

Midori propped his stubs on the table where Celeste and Old Geezer were drinking tea. "Old Geezer, Kirby wants to see you. And he says to bring the thing. He didn't say what thing, he just said 'the thing'. And you have to be there in thirty minutes."

Old Geezer completely ignored the last bits. "Did yee just call Your Mahesty by 'is name, 'ippersnapper? Yeh, that's really rude of yee. Yeh must know to—"

And then they stayed and listened to Old Geezer's two-hour lecture and he was late for whatever Kirby called him for.

Which happened to be something that could not be delayed.

* * *

14 July 2014 SGT: i literally just crapped out this chapt go ahead and snark at it. this chapter's only to introduce the other one-ability puffball the other two are in the next chapter

Hm... oh yeah. because i am literally not allowed to touch anything that's made from nintendo or my psvita on school days (_I CAN ONLY PLAY 'EM ON THE WEEKENDS WELL SHIT_) so a few weeks ago i took the liberty of downloading _portal/2_ for myself and there was thing one very particularly hilarious scene from _Portal 2_.

psss new element for author's note underline is spoilers _have self-restraint if you see underline if you hate spoilers_ in which case i love spoilers

Anyways so Wheatley's leading you somewhere (i have no clue where i was busy telling my brother to shut the hell up so i was just following him) and then there's a room with two doors and Wheatley makes some motion to one of the doors and says, _"I am completely 100% sure that this is the correct way."_

So he enters that door and _instantly_ comes back out and says, _"Nope. Wrong way."_

i dunno watch it for yourself he's hilarious. too bad he's the you know what

I also have ORAS and Super Dangan Ronpa 2 which are coming out in a few months I'm probably more thrilled to get my hands on Super Dangan Ronpa 2 and less for ORAS. Though I have to get used to Hinata's literal screeches during the trials because Naegi mumbles half the time and Hinata's a lot louder


	33. And Then On His End

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Three: And Then On His End**

_Kirby actually does things on his end._

* * *

If Kirby had to use a word to describe being a king, he wouldn't be able to.

It was mostly stressful to settle in, and it was boring to just do paperwork for half of the day, but for the _other_ half, it was fun because he could stroll around the castle and have a look at things he usually wouldn't be able to access if he still continued to invade the castle. They had a bunch of jail cells—Kirby _was not_ expecting that since they _already_ have a jail down in the village.

The jail cells were filled, much to his surprise. So that was why the prison in the village was so empty.

There wasn't just the jail cells to look at, though. He wasn't aware of this thing called the "Minion Hallways" underground. He got lost navigating around it, but thankfully most of the creatures there were waddle dees and waddle dees were usually nice.

And a big food court he hadn't noticed, too. It was in a rather strange place of the castle—hence why Kirby never came across it—but a lot of minions gathered around there to eat food. And a kitchen.

If he'd noticed those earlier, he would've crashed that place to eat food.

And then by the end of the day he'd return to his room. It used to be rather empty, but now Kirby just threw his papers all over because really. _Really_. He wasn't about to give a damn about his sleeping area for that time being—he just aimed to _get rid_ of the shit piling in his sleeping area. And that was by working on them.

(The paper pile did get smaller every day! It did. It really did.)

(He also didn't mind sleeping _on_ the paper. He slept anywhere.)

And so when morning rolled around the cycle repeated.

Well, for that time being.

* * *

19 July 2014 SGT: listen up I WAS TOTALLY GONNA WRITE A MORE ACTION-FILLED CHAPTER BUT THEN i was just not in the mood to write a more action-filled chapter so instead of an action-filled chapter what do you get?

meaningless drabble. yeah.

As you can _probably_ already see now, my chapter's are coming out at snail's speed (like one chapter per _week_) and have the terriblest of terriblest of terrible quality and you guys probably already know that _I_ don't really care, so let me just get my point across: it's gonna be like that for a while.

Yeah.

You can totally blame my incentive-less status. Totally. It'll accept the blame and it'll embrace the blame _and it'll throw it right back in your face_. (so _don't_ blame the total incentive-less status)

And it'll probably be stupid drabbles until I am _not_ incentive-less. There you go.


	34. And Then In Prison

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Four: And Then In Prison**

_His daily meals mostly do consist of cabbages._

* * *

So the quartet usually visited him once a week and gave him some low-class cabbage.

Dedede became king through inheritance, of course. His father was too old to be the king anymore so they just shoved the position to his son—obviously—and that was how Dedede became King Dedede.

And now he was not King Dedede.

He was Prisoner Dedede.

Sure, he'd gone wrong in a lot of things in life, but he didn't expect his position as a _king_ to go wrong. He'd been king for years then a pink freaking _puffball_ that was _half_ his height came and just usurped his throne.

And then he got stuck in a smelly old prison.

He had tried to convince a group of some old monkeys to bail him out of jail, and they had tried, but some other annoying useless minions had foiled their plan anyway. Dedede had thrown a tantrum but later realised that even if he had broken out of jail he couldn't reclaim his position as king because he had never once caught Kirby.

(And the one time he did, it was because of one dastardly strong waddle dee named Handle or something.)

But lately, he heard the prison cells were getting renovations.

Which was good. The prison cells were full of gunk and slime.

Just like him.

* * *

20 July 2014 SGT: I absolutely cannot believe that—first we have reviews, then I have PMs from chickens who don't review _somehow_, and complaining from my RL friends _even though I thought I've made this very very very very clear_. But it's okay because I know I can not go into detail. And sometimes I'm ambiguous.

So here's _Guide: Reasons As To Why TechnoDee Is Not Writing Like Normal - July Edition_. I hope you've dug out the gunk in your eyes _because I am not repeating this_.

1\. Ideas

From _everything_ I've written, I've probably come up with over _fifty_ ideas on my own (excluding the ideas from readers, of course). _Fifty_. _Fifty_. Over fifty ideas which action, stupidity, dialogue, and general shit. I'd like to see _you_ write _over fifty different ideas and not get sick of it at some point_.

This is why I accept ideas. shadow kirby 56 said something like "accepting ideas again might improve your motivation and stuff". (I'm covering a bit more of that in the next point.) And yes—ideas _do_ help me. But practically no one sends them in—shadow kirby 56 is the only person who constantly sends in ideas (so thank you) but it gets boring to receive ideas from the same person and sometimes his ideas are... weird.

2\. _Writing_

in general has become a pain in the butt. Reviews, PMs, highly stupid RL friends say they want to see action and the general stupidity.

And not once. _Not once_ have I said I'd be writing random stupid things all the time. _Not once_ have I said I'd be writing lots of action. _Not once_ have I said I'd be writing bing-bang-boomsh things all the time.

And _Nashew_ said something like to just take a _longer_ time to produce _normal_ chapters. And _you_ don't _understand_—it's not a matter of I _won't_. It's a matter of I _can't_—because I _can't_ write normal chapters even if I took a bizillion years with the way I am now.

So just quit bugging me—it's only a matter of _time_ before I start writing normally again. As to those few lurkers who are quiet and haven't said anything _thank you all so much_ for not pissing me the hell off.

oops sorry for long a/n i'd post it on my profile but i'm sure some of you wouldn't check it because you're too lazy


	35. Fluke

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Fluke**

_Mitchizuka's not smart and Haddle knows that._

* * *

It was one of those crappy study sessions they usually had at the library—

"Bandana Dee, how do you do this question?"

"It's _x_ mi—"

"Bandana Dee! My book caught fire!"

"Midori, shut up."

"But... But then... even if you take _x_ and you... oh wait, that _does_ make sense..."

Among the three of them (Bandana Dee excluded since he was teaching them), Haddle was the only consistent worker who got ticks on every page and didn't bother Bandana Dee at all. Bandana Dee wondered why Haddle even needed to be taught by him—the healer was most likely smarter than Bandana Dee himself.

Midori was clever, he just deliberately screwed up because he knew he could afford to and it ticked Bandana Dee off.

Mitchizuka was downright _stupid_. Bandana Dee had to resort to multiple choice questions, because if he didn't, he'd be staring at the waddle doo's answer and try to make sense of _how_ Mitchizuka even came to that answer. Multiple choice questions usually solved the problem.

So Mitchizuka shuffled the worksheet over to Bandana Dee's side to let him mark it. Peering at it cautiously, Bandana Dee positioned his red pen around the answer and scrutinised it closely. And then... a tick.

"Oh. Wow. He gets it right for once." Haddle was smart but not nice. He was the opposite end of the scale from "_nice_".

Mitchizuka bolted upright and glanced at the worksheet which was being stared at by Bandana Dee (probably because he couldn't take in the fact that he got a question right).

"I am king."

"Huh." Haddle picked up a worksheet from the scattered papers on his end and pushed it over to his end. "Let's see how you fare on this."

A minute later, Bandana Dee interrupted Mitchizuka's working and began howling about how it was wrong from the very start.

* * *

26 July 2014 SGT: guys i think i got my wham back

that does _not_ mean drabbles are gone forever—i think i need one for midori because his personality is so _weird_

Also, prompt-submitting is closed. I'd give you my reasons as to _why_, but then you'd probably just try to argue some illogical logic out of it and it would accomplish nothing but a pissed off TechnoDee, so no. No reasons.

...What? Why're you making that face? Is it because you haven't submitted anything yet?

You know, too bad, I had been asking for prompts _lots_ last month and not much happened. There are _absolutely no exceptions_ on this case—now don't bother me about it because any reviews/PMs regarding this will be ignored.


	36. Of Kicks

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Of Kicks**

_Everybody knows Minura hates crowds. Wildfire doesn't give a damn._

* * *

Wildfire, Minura and Spaggy had grouped up a while ago and stuck around like the main quartet.

...No, wait, sorry. A more accurate description is: Minura and Spaggy followed Wildfire like lost puppies because Wildfire happened to be an R. Bonkers repellent.

So when Wildfire trotted straight into the swarm of waddle dees, it triggered Minura's alarm bells. He paused and watched as the white puffball shoved her way through the crowd—her white colour also happened to clash very badly against the waddle dees, so she was easy to spot.

Spaggy charged in without a second thought which left Minura to jump and run after them.

"Wait, Wildfire! Aren't there any alternative routes?"

Wildfire paused in her tracks, causing a waddle dee to bump right into her. "Of course there are! But this is the fastest way, so shut up. What's the big deal with walking through a bunch of waddle dees?"

One of the waddle dees made a very indignant noise. To shut him up, Wildfire flicked fire in front of his face, which effectively shut him up.

"Uh." Minura contemplated over his words for a while. "I don't like crowds."

"Claustrophobic?"

"Not really—but, uh, maybe... maybe not! I just don't want to be in a crowd, so... can we take an alternative route?"

Wildfire's contemplating frown was followed by a, "No."

Then she continued to jump through the waddle dee jungle.

And by the time Minura managed to get out of the crowd (where Wildfire was impatiently waiting for him with Spaggy) he made a mental note to never go into a crowd again. (Because he had been kicked sixty-seven times in there.)

* * *

27 July 2014 SGT: guys it's some nine in the morning


	37. The Helper Does not Help

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Helper Does Not Help**

_Lili helps to prevent the house from getting burned down._

* * *

Lili thought her siblings were stupid.

Lili thought the entire world was stupid, but her siblings even more so. Kuku the waddle doo was rather clever in battles but other than that had no knowledge of common items _at all_. Huhu—the bonkers—had a learning disability which made him so stupid Lili was inclined to wham his head every hour. Susu was some idiotic hothead (being a burning leo) and literally just jumped _straight into any shit that's going on_ _no matter if she's __in danger or not_ and Lili had to bail her out more times than she could count.

Which was why, Lili thought her siblings were stupid.

It was a very normal day where Lili was reading a book on the couch, Huhu was blabbing off to Ququ, but Ququ being a rocky just stoned there and stared, Kuku and Kiki (the simirror's name was _much alike_ to the stupid waddle doo's; perhaps it was because their personalities were much alike?) were probably up to some stupid pranks again, and Susu was watching the television—oh?

"Su," Lili said abruptly, making the burning leo's gaze jump to her, "aren't you supposed to be cooking lunch?"

"If you're hungry, you can go get your own food."

"Of course I would—but obviously Huhu isn't as smart as me so he wouldn't, and we can't have him starving to death, can we?" The only one who could take Susu's bullshit was Lili herself, which was also partly why Lili was a terrifying waddle dee. "And I smell smoke."

"It's fire on 'er 'ead," Huhu pointed out.

"You shut up." Huhu obediently shut up. "Su's fire doesn't give off any smoke. You're completely batshit."

Susu paused over Lili's words for a moment. "Kuku and Kiki are handling the stove," she said in a carefree manner. Lili was not so carefree and choked on her own breath.

"What the _hell_ are you _trying_ to kill us all?"

By the time Lili reached the kitchen, half of it was in flames and Lili had to yell for Nono and made the chilly stop the fire. And then afterwards, Lili started abusing Kuku and Kiki verbally and with her parasol.

"_Only_ Susu touches the stove from now on."

* * *

28 July 2014 SGT: remember this is all Lili's POV so all the critical thinking up there is all hers, too.


	38. More Studying and More Yelling

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: More Studying and More Yelling**

_If Bandana Dee had another job to choose, he definitely would not be a teacher._

* * *

"Bandana Dee, can we have a break? Now?"

"Midori, we haven't even been here for fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, we haven't, but I wanna go and run around the library."

Bandana Dee glanced around—if Zephyr were here, she'd scare them into going back into studying, but clearly, she wasn't present that day. He'd have to make them sit down by himself. "When Haddle comes back from the bathroom, I'm sending him after you if you don't sit down right now."

That didn't threaten Midori, although it did scare Mitchizuka to some extent. "But he'll agree with us we need to run around and fool around the library! It's only you who doesn't agree, Bandana Dee."

He'd just have to flat out tell them. "_No_. What do you even want to do in the library, anyway? You're definitely not gonna run around because I will throttle you."

"Like," Midori began, pausing over his words for a couple of seconds, "putting romance books in the children's section?"

"…I am now utterly convinced I should not let you go."

"You're such a—"

"I am not going to take your shit about me being a preschool bully, Mitchizuka. _Back to your seat_."

Haddle decided to arrive back at the studying group and settled down at his seats, blinking at Midori and Mitchizuka when they sent him pleading expressions before glancing up at Bandana Dee and gesturing to them. "What the hell happened to them?"

"They want to put books under the romance genre in the _children's_ section. I absolutely cannot allow this."

"He's all too caught up in his teacher mode," Mitchizuka sulked. "If this were normal Bandana Dee we're talking about, he'd agree to it in a heartbeat."

"_Pranks_ I will tolerate but not messing up the _library_! If you're in dire need of a prank, go and have a word with Jillie."

"Jillie's pranks are fun and stuff but she doesn't wanna go into the library," Midori explained with cheeks puffed. "So Mitchizuka and I gotta take her place and mess it up for her. I'm sure she'll be proud of us."

"If I were her, I'd haunt you in your dreams."

"She can't do that. Jillie's not some… Dream Ghost, or whatever."

"Get back to your seats."

"We _are_ in our seats."

"Fine. Sit in your seats and shut your mouth while I go get some books for you to shut up over."

* * *

29 July 2014 SGT: **I think you better read this because I have some stuff to say.**

This story is going to take a one-week break—but on the other hand, I'll also be rewriting some chapters for _Minion: 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom_. I'm not rewriting every single chapter (like hell I'm rewriting 101 chapters) but I _will_ rewrite those that I think need to be rewritten. (and i'll also be correcting up some slip ups i know i've made.)

Annnd I'll also be rethinking the A/N format so if it changes don't be like "oh gosh TechnoDee's off her meds" because _no_.


	39. The Return of the Journal

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Return of the Journal**

_Bandana Dee writes a journal for the first time since Kirby's become king._

* * *

_KIRBY HAS BECOME KING *&amp; )%&amp; $_

_Uh, oops, sorry. I didn't mean for all that squiggles. Midori just threw Mitchizuka at me.  
_

"_Sucker_!" Midori sneered from the other side of the room while Mitchizuka picked himself up. Bandana Dee purposefully cast him a dirty look (which the scoroo completely ignored).

_...Something about arguing over pizzas. I dunno. Something pointless._

The waddle doo had snuck up behind Bandana Dee and scanned through the nearly-empty page. "Pizzas are not pointless."

Bandana Dee slapped him in the eyeball with a free stub. "_Get out_."

_Didi and Mitchi are arguing over which pizza's better. I hope Haddle comes in and kills them all with an oven._

_He did smash an oven over R. Bonkers' head once, but that was last year. Dedede paid for the broken oven and Haddle got yelled at although I think he doesn't really care. Now Kirby's paying for everything, though, so I think Haddle will probably be more reluctant to break stuff now._

_Ketchup with fried eggs actually taste nice._

_Anyway, Didi and Mitchi are now trying to yank each others' eyeballs out_.

* * *

**2 August 2014 SGT**

EDIT: I'm aware that this chapter is _really_ short, so why don't you go and try ketchup with fried eggs to cover up the time (also, the chapter is not incomplete. after Bandana Dee made the "trying to pull eyeballs out" statement, he got up to stop them.)

I'm using this old A/N style _no i haven't gone absolutely bonkers shut up_

update today because i don't feel like rewriting a chapter today

i'm bored

talk to me about sad things


	40. Haddle in a Rather Good Mood

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty: Haddle in a Rather Good Mood  
**

_Well, at least he's not screeching at people._

* * *

Haddle was in a rather good mood, he decided. Midori had woken up earlier than him and decided to be a nice person and make breakfast for everybody and Mitchizuka cooperated when Bandana Dee told him to get up, and his patients in the few wards were all getting better and leaving his clinic (which was more of a mini-hospital), and the patients who came in that day didn't have very serious illnesses or injuries.

So when he had a break he decided he'd visit R. Bonkers just to punch him because he hadn't gotten the chance to punch anyone that day because no one had messed up.

And even while he was basically running like a headless chicken around the castle, he couldn't find R. Bonkers or any of his incompetent crew, so he tapped the nearest person with a familiar face.

Haddle decided he could write a book on wonderful and polite greetings. Yep, what he said really was rather gracious, he thought. He should give Bandana Dee lessons because the waddle dee was horrible at greeting and starting conversations. Hell, he could give the entire world lessons on how to greet people—

"Where's that one asshole of a gorilla?"

Celeste stared back at him curiously like his eyeballs had just been replaced with grapes.

"You like holes in the posterior?"

"_What_?"

"Oh. I don't know. Is he your friend? People you ask that question are usually asking for their friend."

"_Usually_, Celeste."

"It's natural to think the way that's _usual_. Who are you, again?" She squinted at Haddle. "Oh, you're that one. Why are you looking for a gorilla, anyway?"

"R. Bonkers."

"He went off to your clinic for a bit. Didn't he? I think he broke his arm." She sighed. "Why are you asking me, again? Do I look like I interact much with him, anyway?"

No, she didn't. "Oh my _god_. I am going to stick that useless arm up his ass." Haddle stormed away. Still with a rather good mood. Not as good when he found out he couldn't punch R. Bonkers' arm. His face would have to suffice.

Celeste blinked after Haddle. "So you _do_ like holes in the posterior?"

* * *

**11 August 2014 SGT**

Two things.

1\. Refer to chapter 32 for Celeste.

2\. I'm on hiatus refer to profile for a lot more details than this.

Now I'm going to disturb some people on why they haven't updated their stuff so don't be thoroughly horrified if I spam your PM inbox kthxbye


	41. Double Negative (Maybe)

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Forty-One: Double Negative (Maybe)**

_When two mad people meet the madder person always wins. Obviously._

* * *

"Oooh! What's going on _here_?"

While Haddle and R. Bonkers were arguing over some stupid trivial matter again, Zinnia and her younger sister Celeste had crashed the scene and although the two arguing completely ignored their arrival, Mitchizuka shrieked and scampered behind Bandana dee.

"They're arguing," Bandana Dee replied.

"Yeah. Duh. Over _what_?"

"I dunno."

"They're arguing over something you don't know?" Celeste piped up curiously.

"Cel, shush." Zinnia strutted right in between them before cocking her head in front of R. Bonkers to the left. "So _you're_ R. Bonkers?"

"He _is_!" Midori yelled.

"...'R. Bonkers' is too long, man. I'm changing it to Le Elusive Pineapple."

"Uh, Sis, that's even longer..."

"Did you say something, Cel?"

Midori perked up. "Oh! Cuz R. Bonkers was complaining about how 'awful' Haddle's clinic was and how he'd never go there again and Haddle was right there and he punched him in the face. I dunno how R. Bonkers was still conscious, but it just happens."

"...Okay."

Then later R. Bonkers arrived at said clinic because he was stabbed in the arm.

* * *

**16 August 2014 SGT**

"TechnoDee wth is this"

1\. I'm half brain dead thanks

2\. I was going to write one of the three ideas I _still_ haven't done but I can't cuz lack of time

And lack of time means that you get shit-quality works.

(I _did_ say I could make small updates sometimes despite hiatus, so before you go on about that? _shut up_.)


	42. Temperamental Green-Head

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Two: Temperamental Green-Head**

_Haddle takes away Midori's super energy bars to experiment and improve them so now Bandana Dee and Mitchizuka have to deal with a crappy Midori._

* * *

"_HADDLE_."

The healer didn't look up from breaking apart the energy bar. "Bandana Dee, I'm right next to you, so there's no need to scream in my ear. Now, get out."

"_NO. WHY IS MIDORI BEING A GRUMPY TOAD? HE IS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE A GRUMPY TOAD. HE IS A CHEERFUL FLUFF-BALL OF SUNSHINE._"

(The phone proceeded to ring and Bandana Dee picked it up. Zephyr politely requested him to, basically, shut up because he could be heard miles around. Bandana Dee sulkily obeyed and hung up.)

"Midori doesn't take his vitamins," Haddle said ambiguously.

"So?"

"And it's not because he doesn't want to. Because he forgets all the time. The one thing he doesn't forget to eat are these crappy bar things, so I'm going to experiment on them and try to add vitamins to them and make sure it doesn't taste gross otherwise Midori won't eat it." Haddle swatted Bandana Dee with a wing. "Now get out of here before I decide to help you do it."

(Literal translation of "decide to help you do it": "Before I decide to punch you in the face and smash you through a wall.")

Bandana Dee trudged back to the living room where Mitchizuka was trying to appease the scoroo. Day Midori and Night Midori were practically polar opposites and now Midori was slapping Mitchizuka.

"So what happened? Why has he decided to _betray_ us?!" Mitchizuka cried as he scuttled around the room. _That_ seemed to appease the scoroo as Midori chased him around the room with a threatening tail extended to _stab out Mitchizuka's spleen_.

"It's Haddle's fault."

Oops. Shouldn't have said that. He was definitely going to be punched by Haddle later.

"_You siddown there or I will stuff your arteries through your eyeball!_" (Dunno if that's even possible. Midori doesn't care.)

Instead of helping his best friend, Bandana Dee retreated into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee.

* * *

**28 August 2014 SGT**

Wrote chapter because preliminary exams are over and I successfully killed a cockroach yesterday. Both are quite the achievements. (also because i wanted to write midori. fun midori.)

Moving on.

I realised perhaps two months too late that _Minion: 100 Ways of Ridding of Boredom _has 18 favs, so if we get to 20 favs I will write a 2000 plus word chapter on this fic and I do not lie.

(I make this challenge because I know I probably won't get any favs on that fic anytime soon. So 2000 plus is not much of a concern.)


	43. Wet Burgers

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Three: Wet Burgers**

_They don't taste nice. Soggy burgers don't taste nice at all._

* * *

Kirby had built a new pool recently for the minions to enjoy in their spare time. Haddle managed to save one energy bar and handed it for Midori to eat and not be as grumpy as he was before but the result was only an unfortunate trip to the pool because Midori liked to play.

This is just about how it went:

"_Haddle_! I wanna go to the pool!"

"No! Midori, shut up and sit down! Be grateful I gave you your stupid snack!"

"I don't care whether I'm happy or grumpy, I only care about making myself satisfied! Now let's goooo!"

"Hey, Haddle," Mitchizuka mused, "maybe it's not a bad idea. We rarely ever get the same spare time slots, so it's a good idea to hang out and stuff and pools _are_ fun. Or maybe you don't like them because they get your wings wet."

Haddle scoffed. "My wings can dry off fairly fast, thank you. What I'm concerned about is one dolt drowning and I see the possibility happening very vividly before my eyes."

Well, Haddle was right, one dolt _did_ nearly drown. Not them, though. Cut to the pool, anyway.

"Wheeeee!" Midori cried as he all but flung himself onto the floor. At the same time, he threw his precious half-eaten burger into the kids' pool. He completely ignored that fact and went sliding around the wet floor on his back.

"_Midori_! I took ages to make that!" Bandana Dee wailed and began sobbing in a corner and mumbling about wastage of food and dirtying the waters (Midori didn't care so long as they weren't swimming in _that_ pool). Most unfortunately, R. Bonkers had also decided to go and hang around there (impeccable timing), and Haddle decided to start arguing with him instead of having fun.

Bandana Dee managed to catch some of their conversation. "Obviously, I can swim," Haddle snorted. "But I need to get the towels and make sure Midori stops goofing off." (Midori was still wiping the floor with his back, mind you.)

"No, ya can't, otherwise you'd be in the pool already."

"Well, I'll be in it _eventually_, you _twit_, so stop saying I _can't_ swim when I _can_ when _you_ probably can't." And with that, Haddle decided to be rational and leave the scene. R. Bonkers decided to be stupid and _shoved Haddle into the water_.

"_Oh my crap!_" Mitchizuka shrieked from some far away distance. (He had been trying to use some hook-thing to pick out the burger from the kids' pool.)

It didn't take Haddle very long to surface.

"_YOU—_"

Bandana Dee clapped his hands over his invisible ears and watched with mild horror as Haddle beat R. Bonkers to a bloody pulp. (Over-exaggeration. Nobody cares.)

"This is certainly R-18," Midori said casually and continued to slide around the floor.

* * *

**29 August 2014 SGT**

**shadow kirby 56**'s idea which has been stuck around for a while.

So what happens right after I say something in the last chapter regarding 20 favs? I get two more favs which makes 20 favs in which I am not impressed. _At all_. I'll make sure to make a list of said 20 favs in the next chapter so if any of you decide to be a crappants and unfav I'll know who. :)))

Anyways, this evidently isn't the 2k plus word chapter (it's only around 500 words if you will) and it'll take a bit of time because:

1\. 2k plus word chapters are long and they'll need time.

2\. I'm sorta busy right now so it'll have to be suspended for a while.


	44. There's Not Much of a Difference

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Four: There's Not Much of a Difference**

_Midori is particular about his tomatoes._

* * *

"What kind of tomato is this? It isn't even _red_!"

"No, Midori... it's glossy red."

"Bandana Dee, you big fat stupid flabby idiot! Tomatoes. _Should_. _Always_. _Be_. _Red_," Midori seethed as he swung the kitchen knife around aimlessly. Bandana Dee didn't even blink at him.

"Glossy red and red are the same."

"They are _not_. Now dinner will be ruined and it will be ruined in the name of Stupid Asshole Bandana Dee."

"You're being fussy. Be glad I didn't pick cabbages and decided to buy tomatoes."

"You could've bought _both_ if you're gonna be a whiny prick over it!"

"Exceeds the budget."

Leaving Bandana Dee and Midori in the same room was not a good idea. Haddle was a peacemaker (UH) and Mitchizuka just made everything so complicated to the point where nothing made sense but there wouldn't be any arguments. Have Day Midori and Bandana Dee in the same room and it'd basically be hell.

Haddle was working and Mitchizuka was asleep, anyway. Bandana Dee briefly considered marching over to the room and get Mitchizuka to get up to have fun and allow all arguments to dissipate, but he _had_ had a hard day, so Bandana Dee decided not to.

Stuck with the devil personified, then.

"You suck. You are such a stupid simpleton. You do not understand the truth of the difference between glossy red and red. And when I say red, I mean _sheer red_. _Sheer red_ tomatoes are so much more different from _glossy red_ tomatoes as they have more _potential_ to—"

Cue pseudo-wikipedia babble.

* * *

**30 August 2014 SGT**

More of Midori's weird addiction to tomatoes. Dunno why.

The 2k word chapter will be chapter **fifty**, so now you can start counting down even though I don't recommend it.

There's a poll regarding these challenges stuffs, so I know whether or not to continue 'em or not. If you could spare a little click, that is.


	45. R Bonkers Repellent In Action

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Five: R. Bonkers Repellent In Action**

_Wildfire is dubbed an R. Bonkers Repellent, but she isn't the only one._

* * *

Zephyr liked tea.

Well, that was pretty much obvious, wasn't it? Zephyr was an elegant puffball. Elegant things liked tea. Or that was the stereotypical, anyway. Zephyr liked making some things complicated, but not all things.

She and Peap were polar opposites. No question. No doubts. Mind you, the reason Peap kept following Zephyr around was because their schedules were completely identical and Peap had a very weak opinion-deciding system, so Zephyr was there to push him into doing things.

"I don't see how anybody could dislike tea," Zephyr commented plainly, stirring a cup of some... green tea—was it?—absentmindedly. "Really, I don't."

Peap, who was sitting opposite and not a very big fan of tea, nodded and went back to reading his book.

"Quiet people aren't very nice, Peap."

"Uh. I'm not sure what response to give."

"It's not like your response matters much to me, so just go ahead and say anything."

So if his response didn't matter much to her, why was she even asking for one? Peap decided not to argue because he had once witnessed the true side of Zephyr and it was not pleasing at all.

"Tea is all right," he replied and made sure to say nothing else offensive. Thankfully, Zephyr's expression broke out into a beam and she said nothing more.

Then R. Bonkers came along and decided he wanted to be slapped. He only knew the True Sheer Violence of Haddle, the Persistence and Slapping-ness of Wildfire but he had not heard anything about Zephyr's threats at all. (This was because Zephyr was a puffball who mainly liked to keep to herself and not cause a ruckus over anything. Sometimes, she did, but everyone would pretend to forget about it and never speak of it again.)

"_Oi_," was all R. Bonkers said to Peap. (Peap was his favourite victim but when Haddle arrived a few months back, R. Bonkers hadn't been in contact with Peap at all. Peap only started following Zephyr around two months ago, so R. Bonkers didn't know about the Wrath of Zephyr. Eh.)

That was practically all it took to piss Zephyr off.

"Excuse me, Sir," Zephyr muttered with much annoyance evident in her tone, "please leave. I am in no mood to deal with troublemakers like you."

"Who do y'think _y'are_?"

"I think I am a regular puffball," she responded and this time added a huff, "who thinks you should leave this instant. Trust me, Sir, I am in a rather good mood as of now and I would let you go and run off to some isolated place to cry, so you can do so now."

Peap squirmed in his seat. "Umm. Zephyr. Calm down."

"I am _very_ calm." Liar.

Eventually, a waiter shooed R. Bonkers away, but even then Zephyr did decide that she wasn't satisfied and would ruin R. Bonkers' sleep.

So right before R. Bonkers went to sleep he checked on his old and taking-up-a-lot-of-space computer and when it loaded, he found a very disturbing picture on. And he could not sleep at all.

* * *

**31 August 2014 SGT**

Disturbing as in gory.

("So, TechnoDee, how the shit did Zephyr do that?" Well if you read that one update on the profile you'd know. Like the one a few weeks ago. Even if you didn't, I'll have the info out in a few chapters. Maybe.)

Also, I have a feeling I should post a back-up of these on WattPad in case something happens but I'm too lazy to post some 101 plus 45 chapters there so should I?

EDIT: send in name of character you want to see in next chapter


	46. True Minion

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Six: True Minion**

_Bandana Dee and his gang are oddballs, you know._

* * *

The waddle doo certainly did not want to get up for the day.

"Get up, you lazy little—I swear, if you don't get up right now, there will be chaos—and there will be _war_—"

His friend was rather talkative for a waddle dee.

"But I'm too lazy! His Majesty said it's our break day, you know, Quop!"

"Stop trying to fool me, you pathetic minion!"

"You're a minion, too."

The waddle dee threw his fist at the waddle doo. The latter shrieked and rolled over into a defensive stance. "I don't care if I'm a minion or an alien or a cyborg the point is that you move your fat butt to the shower or I will personally help you slash off your fat butt and throw it into the shower for you."

The waddle dee was not as powerful as the healer (Haddle) but he certainly was skilled with knives. With reluctance, the waddle doo dragged himself out of the bed and crawled towards the shower painfully slowly. The waddle dee didn't seem to care that he was being slow, only that he got the job done.

After an hour, the waddle doo finally jumped out of the bathroom, rejuvenated, and practically started skipping around. "Are we patrolling? Are we?"

The waddle dee stayed still and stared at the wall with no reaction.

"'Ello?"

No reaction.

"...Shit."

"Uh... what did you say?" the waddle dee finally asked, blinking over to the waddle doo. "Wait. When did you get here don't tell me I was—"

"Anyway, we're patrolling!" the waddle doo exclaimed cheerfully, completely ignoring the schedule sheet that told them their jobs were in the kitchen. "Let's go, Quap!"

"W-What? Oh, okay..."

* * *

**4 September 2014 SGT**

New challenge by the way. I won't be pasting a bunch of info here because the challenge doesn't relate much to this fic.

yeah this is pretty average. sort of.

i wonder why the waddle doo is calling the waddle dee two different names? hmmm.


	47. How Patrolling Works

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Seven: How Patrolling Works**

_It's simple. But boring._

* * *

Bandana Dee knew his schedule perfectly. Thus, there was no fooling Bandana Dee.

"Bandana Dee, our break ends in half an hour!" Mitchizuka whined as he tried to get Bandana Dee to believe that lie to linger in his room and sleep a little more. It was a few minutes past their break time, and Bandana Dee was horrified that they were late. By a few minutes.

"Do you think I'm _stupid_? _You think I'm stupid_?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Mitchizuka. I will make sure Midori does not get his energy bar tomorrow and I will make sure you will be his target."

That one got Mitchizuka out of bed. "You're so mean, Bandana Dee," he complained as he trudged over to the door. "Five more minutes?"

"Get out there."

After ten minutes, Bandana Dee finally managed to scare Mitchizuka out into the hallways. Bandana Dee was content marching around the castle while Mitchizuka trailed after him slowly. Mitchizuka already thought patrolling was ridiculous since not many waddle dees would be needed to protect the castle. Kirby thought it made a lot of sense because "anything could happen".

"I want to eat after this."

"We have a studying session after this," Bandana Dee reminded firmly, "and you're stupid, so you need extra time."

"Can I eat in the library?" Mitchizuka asked hopefully. He could multi-task (somewhat) although he knew what the answer was by the way Bandana Dee's expression contorted into some disgusted sneer.

"You are _really_ stupid."

"You are _really_ grumpy."

As such, conversations went on like that during patrols.

* * *

**5 September 2014 SGT**

By the way, as for the profile editing and the forum-posting...

Is it just me or are the "insert horizontal line" buttons on those gone?


	48. The Cons

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Eight: The Cons**

_Where there is a change, there will always be pros and cons._

* * *

Bandana Dee loved very dearly how things were starting to rapidly change in Castle. The ugly, uneven faces of Dedede that were carved into the walls were being replaced with smoother ones, morning assembly was usually short (unless there were important announcements), the minions were given fair amount of jobs, they had a fair amount of breaks, and the bedrooms were very dear.

There was just one thing that Bandana Dee disliked.

Interviewing.

There didn't use to be a lot of questions when Dedede was king (just two) but Kirby was extremely careful in whatever he did. He set there to be around ten questions and only two of them were "yes or no" questions. Thankfully, interviewing was rare nowadays, but Bandana Dee did eventually get caught up in it. By the experiences Midori had told him about, the Kirby-standard interviewing was not easy.

One good thing: Kirby did make the interviewing room a room of its own (in Dedede's time, the interviews used to be held in some cold storage room with multiple crates). There were soft and plush seats and a nice coffee table and a sitting on the side of the coffee table was a tea dispenser. And a nice carpeted floor with lime green paint coating the walls. Kirby _was_ extremely careful in whatever he did—including making people feel comfortable.

There was a button to signal for the next interviewee to enter the room and Bandana Dee pressed it. Mitchizuka was perched on his own seat and sipping a cup of tea and seemed to study the door carefully for any sign of motion.

When the door opened, Bandana Dee flailed like a headless chicken for the list of questions which happened to be strewn across the entire coffee table. Thankfully, they no longer needed to put up with Bandana Dee's chicken scrawl handwriting, because Kirby resorted to voice recorders instead.

"Uh, hi!" Bandana Dee blurted while shuffling the papers around. Mitchizuka rolled his eye beside him, obviously unimpressed. The waddle dee that had entered the room looked very plain—he had no accessories on whatsoever but he didn't seem fazed by Bandana Dee's awkward greeting. "Uh, please, take a seat!"

"You're more nervous than he is," Mitchizuka remarked dryly.

"Shut up," Bandana Dee commanded. Mitchizuka did so. "Anyways, sorry. So—" Bandana Dee glanced at his notes frantically. "...Let's just start with your name."

"Pineapple," the waddle dee said seriously. Bandana Dee blinked. "I'm not kidding. I've got my certificate and stuff, do you want to—"

"Uh, let's not go into that," Bandana Dee quickly replied, checking if Mitchizuka had turned on the recorder—which he had. "All right, so... Pineapple," Bandana Dee continued, snatching a very quick glance at the notes, "reason for joining?"

"Money." A very honest and straightforward dee. Bandana Dee liked honesty.

"Okay. Uh. Is this a job you don't mind having?"

"Yes."

After a series of questions, Pineapple's interview was over and the strangely calm dee took his leave. Next came in a bonkers. A very normal looking bonkers. Bandana Dee had bad experiences with bonkers (ahem) so he decided to speak very quickly.

"Name?"

"Pompous Bonkers. Y'can call me P. Bonkers."

Deja vu. "Reason for joining?"

"To join me bro."

That caught Mitchizuka's attention. "Your bro? Rad Bonkers?"

"Yeh."

"Tell your mother R. Bonkers deserves a slap across his face," Bandana Dee responded before glancing back at the sheet. "Is this a job you don't mind having then, Prissy Bonkers?"

* * *

**13 September 2014 SGT**

Haven't updated in a while yikes. Look out for end of September.

In any case, list of questions that were asked for the interview:

1\. Name?  
2\. Reason for joining?  
3\. Is the job likable to you?  
4\. Any allergies?  
5\. Preferences in jobs?  
6\. What do you excel in?  
7\. What do you do not-so-well in?  
8\. Any disorders/sicknesses? (IF SO, ASK THE INTERVIEWEE TO SPECIFY.)  
9\. Which squad would you best work in? (FOR THE INTERVIEWER'S REFERENCE, THE LISTS OF SQUADS ARE LOCATED IN SHEET B4.)  
10\. Where is your hometown?

700 words, in any case, and that's pretty long.


	49. Annoying Ones Get on Everyone's Nerves

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Annoying Ones Get on Everyone's Nerves**

_But Midori's just a tad little less tolerant towards them._

* * *

Bandana Dee got stuck out with interviewing with Midori, and we wasn't very happy when he received the notification. Midori might be a happy (at least, if you knew how to keep him happy) little scoroo but he was also known to resort to violence. Less than Haddle, though. Haddle punched anything that moved.

Midori settled himself quite comfortably into the plush couch for both of the interviewers to sit on. Due to shortage of voice recorders and simplicity, Kirby moved the records back down to paper. (He said something about his ears going to die if he listened to much to the voice records. Valid reason, but why did he even start it in the first place, anyway?)

While Bandana Dee wondered why he got stuck in interviewing two days in a row (and why he was pushed to the position of taking down notes), the first interviewee stepped in. He—she?—blinked at the both of them.

"Oh, right! Take a seat," Midori quickly invited. He had been too distracted on trying not to fall asleep and Bandana Dee deep in his thoughts, so neither of them really noticed the waddle doo coming in. "Ahem... I am Midori."

"The names aren't necessary," Bandana Dee whispered. Midori whipped his tail at the waddle dee. "Uh, and I'm... Bandana Dee." If Midori introduced himself and Bandana Dee didn't, that'd be weird, so he'd have to follow. For now. "We're just gonna ask you ten questions."

"Okay," the waddle doo said with a beam. Were all waddle doos that silly?

"Name?"

"Turnip."

Bandana Dee made a quick scribble of it before pausing and squinting. "What? Wasn't the other one the other day named Pineapple? And another called Cheeseburger the other day? Why are they all named after food?"

"U-Uh!" the waddle doo quickly mumbled to interrupt Midori, who was about to speak. "Naming people's children after food is supposed to be some sort of blessing... my mum named me Turnip because she wanted to grow lots of turnips. A-And we found out that there's a new vegetable field that the new king made in the castle, so my mum wanted me to come here and grow turnips!"

He had already answered question two. Bandana Dee scribbled it down.

After a while, where they met happy, nervous, prideful and mad (not Zinnia-mad level though) interviewees... all interviews must have their hell at least once.

A puffball strutted in like they were nothing and paid no attention to them, not even asking for permission to sit as all the others had. Judging by the way Midori was fidgeting on his seat, the scoroo didn't like him.

"Good morning, I'm Bandana Dee and this is Midori," Bandana Dee quickly blurted at the speed of a bullet. The puffball—greyish in colour, not the colour of Kirby's counterpart (whom Kirby had talked about before)—stared at them with half-lidded eyes and an unamused expression. "Can I have your na—"

"My name is Panel." Another weird name. "We should get this interview over and done with. I have no respect for you minions who think you're worthy of my time."

Ouch. "Uh... no, that's not it, you just signed up as a minion for this castle, so we're just here to interview you! It's an obligation!" Bandana Dee beamed at him although even a blind person could tell it was most forced, with a pretty pissed off attitude behind it. "Why did you join—"

"Is there really any point of continuing this pathetic 'interview' when I have already reasoned out why I shouldn't be here anymore?"

_Yes,_ Bandana Dee mentally answered. Under Panel's name, he wrote: _rude fellow_. "Well, if you don't answer our questions, you're obviously not going to get a job here," the waddle dee replied confidently, his smile faltering. "I need your reason for joining."

"Because," Panel answered with some kind of strangled hiss, "all the other jobs in the village weren't good enough. Besides, this is a really low-quality bunch of minions and—"

Bandana Dee should have known that if Midori was extraordinarily silent, trouble was usually spelled out in a few seconds. The scoroo leaned right over with his tail hanging out before hurling a ball of goo at Panel.

_Splat._

"_Well_," Midori said with a sarcastic smile, "if you don't answer our questions, _you're obviously not going to get a job here_."

Panel began swiping off the sticky goo. "This is what I mean. You have absolutely no manners. I need to improve on this and—"

"If _I_ don't have manners, I don't know what you don't have," Midori responded casually. "Well, let's continue the interview. Is this job likable to you?"

"Of course not. I would rather spend my time—"

"_Is. This. Job. Likable. To. You_."

Panel must have figured it would get nowhere unless he responded with what Midori wanted to hear. "Of course," Panel responded in a rather timid manner.

Under Panel's name, again, Bandana Dee wrote down: _Midori's not accepting any shit today_.

* * *

**19 September 2014 SGT**

during my exam my stomach made two dying whale noises and i regret nothing


	50. Kirby Doesn't Care

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty:** **Kirby Doesn't Care**

_Bandana Dee wanted to do work. Kirby didn't care._

_Mitchizuka wanted to sleep. Kirby didn't care._

_Haddle wanted to get an answer. Kirby didn't care._

_Midori wanted a party. Kirby somehow decided to do just that._

_The next day, everybody was tired and wanted to sleep because the carnival of a party went smashingly. Kirby doesn't care._

* * *

"Your Majesty—Kirby—with all due respect… I admire you for your ability to handle tough situations and your capability, and your general attitude and patience towards us—however, that is _not_ an excuse to not have any work for today."

"You're a funny dee," Kirby replied.

Bandana Dee crossed his arms. "I am _not_ funny. I am being very rational. There is no such thing as a day without work. It has _never_ been like that before and it should never be like that. Let me do work."

Mitchizuka slapped the unsuspecting Bandana Dee. "Hey! If we're not gonna do work, can I sleep?! Please?! For the entire day?!"

"No."

"So you're not letting us do work but you're not letting us rest either," Haddle sighed while poking at his feathers. "That's rather ridiculous. What do you expect us to do? Are you dragging us out on an excursion?"

"Not that either…"

Kirby had announced that that day was a "no work day" and therefore the entire castle could slack off. Many minions were delighted, but Bandana Dee was absolutely horrified and dragged his other three friends to Kirby's room. Mitchizuka was a lazy butt and asked for rest—but that wasn't what Kirby wanted. Haddle thought Kirby was dragging them out somewhere—nope.

Bandana Dee nearly pissed on himself. "Then _what_ is going on today?!"

"I don't know," Kirby replied cleverly. Bandana Dee was about to strangle himself. "I want to do _something_, but I'm not quite sure. I've been pondering about it for a while."

"_WHAT_?! Why today, anyway?! Let's just do work while you think ab—" Bandana Dee was cut off by Mitchizuka tackling into the waddle dee. "Mitchi! I am making a very rational—"

"I don't care!" Mitchizuka shrieked. "It's a work-free day! I will never miss out on a day like that!"

Midori suddenly swooped down onto the floor from the couch where he was sitting. "A _party_!" the scoroo yelled. Haddle pulled his tail to get him to stand up with narrowed eyes. "I wanna have a _party_!"

"A party…?" Kirby looked quizzically at the scoroo, almost as if he was interested in that idea. …Heck, he probably _was_ interested in the idea! "Oh, that reminds me. While you were still under Dedede, did you hold any parties of any sort? Not like those formal parties where other rulers of other countries are invited, I mean." Not that the last bit ever happened, anyway.

"_Yeah_! There's this underground thing-thing! It's supposed to be a secret because stupid Dedede doesn't allow parties, but now that you're the king, it's okay!" Midori beamed. "There's food. And dancing. And lights. And music. And _good toilets_."

Kirby stared at the scoroo for a moment before clapping his hands once. "That's a good idea… throwing a party for the entire castle, I mean. It'll be a hassle to clear up once we're done, but—"

"But you have your loyal minions here, ready tooooo—ow! Mitchi, let me go or things are gonna get ugly really fast," Bandana Dee warned while shaking off the waddle doo.

The king smiled uncertainly. "Um, thank you for your enthusiasm, but the party is for the minions' efforts, so you guys won't have to do any preparation or clearing up."

"_WHAT_?!"

"It's all right. I have help."

"What more help do you have apart from your faithful minions?!"

"Bandana Dee," Haddle began, grabbing the waddle dee by the end of his bandana, "I think we're done talking. Let's go back."

"Thanks!" Kirby called to Haddle as they left. Before Midori shut the door, Kirby perked up and called towards Bandana Dee, "Don't worry, I've got a bit of help and they're nice people!"

* * *

"Sob," Bandana Dee sobbed in a corner. Midori glared at him.

"Nobody verbalises what they're doing, Bandana Dee. You don't say 'laugh' when you're laughing."

"I can't believe the _king_. Rejected. _My_. Help." Bandana Dee stuffed his face in his pillow. "I'm his number one minion and fan and he _rejected my help_. I feel like my existence has no meaning anymore."

"Dude… your sobbing is so _fake_," Mitchizuka scoffed from his bed. "You aren't even stuttering."

A pillow came flying in Mitchizuka's direction. The waddle doo was knocked over with a loud, muffled cry. "My tears are genuine, you scum!" Bandana Dee insisted. "But I don't stutter! Men don't stutter!"

"Zephyr proved the other day that you're not a manly man," Midori stated breezily.

"…When was—_oh_. I thought we said we were never going to bring that up again."

Mitchizuka shook his head. "No, _you_ said that because you were so horribly scarred by Zephyr's excellent choice of words and method of reasoning. We didn't agree on anything or say anything."

"But. Still!" Bandana Dee leapt from his bed. "That is it. I am not going to back down. I am _Bandana Freaking Dee_. I have a freaking pride. I'm going to help out, regardless of whether His Majesty told me to stay in our dormitories! Forgive me, Your Majes—"

"Can you stop doing that?" Midori asked sincerely. "It's kind of gross."

Bandana Dee narrowed his eyes. "…Fine! Here I come, you little shits, whether you're ready or not!" Then he proceeded to march right out of the door with his two companions trailing after him. Haddle decided that he would stay in the dormitory like a very reasonable person.

Two steps out of the dormitory, Bandana Dee met a very familiar face. "…_KUKU_? _LILI_?"

"_Ohmigosh_!" Kuku immediately dropped his bundle of crates. The grumpy parasol dee whapped him on the head with her parasol. "Bandana Dee! And! Mitchizuka! And! Midori!"

"Hi," Lili said shortly.

"Li, put more feeling into it! They're our buddies from the castle and they're really nice and stuff so you've gotta make it seem like you're really enthusiastic! After all, they're the reason why we're helping out with this stuff and not cooped up at home!" Kuku blabbered and began to trap Bandana Dee in a Death Hug. Lili audibly sighed behind him.

"Ku… I don't really mind interrupting touching moments, you know."

"Shush, Li! Just this once!" And then Kuku proceeded to trap the other two in the same Death Hug, efficiently killing three of them at the same time. "We haven't seen each other in years!"

"Just a few months," Lili corrected, before swinging her parasol horizontally and swiping Kuku towards the left. He went skidding off against the floor. Bandana Dee stared at Kuku's sliding form in horror. "Don't worry. If he doesn't stop himself, friction will. In any case, what're you doing here? Kirby said there wouldn't be any disturbances in transporting the items cuz you were all inside your dormitories. And we haven't seen any minion apart from you."

Whoops. Bandana Dee should have trusted Kirby on that one. "Uh… we just wanted to see how this party preparation is coming along!" he said brightly. "So? How is it coming along?"

Lili sighed and pointed a stub towards the fallen (and thankfully unbroken) crates. "We're in the midst of transporting stuff… though we heard from Kiki—our simirror sister, you know?—that they're already putting up decorations."

The parasol dee didn't seem to be as grumpy as the last time Bandana Dee met her.

Midori jumped up. "Oh! So what're you guys transporting now?!"

"I don't know. Don't really care. It's not fragile, so Ku won't break it easily." Excellent thinking, Lili. "Anyways, you guys better head back to the dormitories. Don't think Kirby would be really happy if he found you guys out here already."

"LIIIII!" Kuku's cry resonated from over the horizon.

"Yeah, and because Ku's back, too."

Mitchizuka spluttered. "But—we don't wanna go back in! The castle is a lot more spacious than our puny old dormitory! Can't we wander around?"

"_No_." Lili kicked the three of them back into their room (the door was still wide open). "We need to get our stuff done. And we need to make sure it's done properly. No arguing." And the parasol dee shut the door firmly. Bandana Dee began sobbing again as he didn't even attempt to open the door again.

* * *

"I got word from Kirby that we can go out now," Haddle said to a crying Bandana Dee. "And stop whining about not being able to to work, sheesh. Most people have hard times getting their minions to work, but we have a hard time getting some minions to take a break."

Bandana Dee completely ignored Haddle's second bit of his speech. "Then we're going. _Now_." He adjusted his bandana carefully. "Now hurry up and start moving! We don't have all day long to wait."

As Mitchizuka and Midori grumbled as they followed him out once again, they were greeted by balloons and banners across the hallways. Bandana Dee immediately froze up, Mitchizuka stared in awe and Midori began cheering. Haddle only continued walking and muttered something about fools wasting their time. Upon this sight, Bandana Dee began tearing up.

"Such a great effort… and I didn't contribute to it…"

"You're so _weird_," Mitchizuka sighed, before he dragged Bandana Dee to follow Haddle.

Eventually, they reached the large yard of the field. Minions were gathered and were whispering amongst themselves. The platform where Kirby was supposed to appear onstage later was being fixed up—but not by minions. Once again, Bandana Dee sulked and Haddle slapped him.

The appearance of Kirby onstage didn't take a long time to wait. The pink puffball faltered slightly at the crowd, as he always did, before waving. "Um, greetings, dear minions of Castle!"

Clapping. Kirby blinked at the enthusiastic bundle of creatures below him and waited for them to calm down before speaking again. "I am aware it's nearly midnight. I assume most of you have already had your rest in during the day. I did make a broadcast to the entire castle to make sure everyone got the message to save their energy because they'd be spending it later."

Well, Bandana Dee spent his entire time sobbing…

"But thanks to the help of some of my friends and most of the villagers, we managed to decorate this place and set up stalls and other things. We worked pretty fast… I think."

"Would've worked faster with me," Bandana Dee sulked.

"There's one problem, though—we didn't manage to get the maps printed in time. They're still being printed." Kirby wrung his hands nervously. "I—I believe they can be found soon at the Help Office. In about an hour. Until then, have fun roaming around the castle and looking at various different games. And stalls!"

The crowd began to disperse. If it were any other normal day, it'd be so dark you could stretch out your hand and not be able to see it—that was how things worked on Pop Star—but the whole place was lit up with lights. Whoever provided the electricity, Bandana Dee wasn't sure, but it was already a miracle for something like that to happen.

While Bandana Dee's friends spoke with a few other people, the waddle dee simply stood where he was, overawed, before snapping his attention back to reality. An occasion like this was extremely rare. He'd have to treasure it.

"Should we get going?" Bandana Dee asked with a confident tone.

"I want to eat food," Mitchizuka decided. "We're gonna get some food. Now."

"Food is not the highlight of a party," Haddle huffed, annoyed. "You're so lazy. You're gonna get fat. And it won't be my fault. But food sounds nice, we haven't eaten anything since breakfast… thanks to someone who was moping."

"Really?" Bandana Dee perked up, feigning innocence. "That's cool. Let's go grab food, then."

At first, they started walking around blindly, and Midori quickly concluded it wasn't going to get them anywhere. None of them could see anybody who might know their way around the place, though. That is, until they saw an oddly-coloured simirror.

Midori immediately bounced up to the simirror. "Hi! Are you Kiki? The helper? Kiki?"

Kiki blinked at Midori once before nodding. "Oh, right! You're that weird thing who's friends with Kirby and my siblings… uh, hi. Can I help you with anything?"

"Yeah. Where are all the food stalls?"

"On the second level," Kiki replied, before digging in her bag and retrieving a crumpled paper. "This was the map for us while we set up everything, but I obviously don't need it anymore. I've got the entire map memorised, so you can have it."

"I have found the greatest treasure," Midori announced as Kiki slunk away. "Second level and food _here I come_."

The stalls weren't really stalls; just stands. To give stuff away. For free. Mostly. Kirby had apparently dug out a lot of "treasure" from the storage room that Dedede previously owned. He wouldn't use any of them, so he decided to contribute them to the party. Thing. Carnival was a more accurate description. Perhaps a castle-wide party would be acceptable in terms of language.

Bandana Dee got himself cotton candy, although that was in vain because Mitchizuka began plucking from it and in an attempt to stop him, Bandana Dee instinctively jerked whatever he was holding towards Mitchizuka—which was the cotton candy. It got stuck on the waddle doo's face and Midori got himself caught up in it, too. The only one who was peacefully enjoying himself was Haddle.

"That stunk," Bandana Dee grumbled. "In the end I only ate half of what was worth of a cotton candy. The rest got stuck on your butt-ugly face." He gestured towards the waddle doo beside him, who was swiping at his face. "Stop that. It's already washed off."

"Yeah… and I still _stink_ of cotton candy."

"At least it doesn't smell like legitimate shit, Mitchi."

They proceeded to play some games where Mitchizuka whomped all of their pathetic rears. He would constantly be slapped by Bandana Dee (who always placed last) because of it and Midori (who always placed second) would laugh at it and Haddle (who always placed the remaining spot) would sigh and click the replay button and catching them all off guard and making them all scream.

Then Haddle won that one time because his tactic of replaying without their consent worked.

Thankfully, Midori managed to find a multiplayer game where they could group up so there wouldn't be any competition. According to him, the game was titled _Scope Shot_ and all they had to do was to shoot a bunch of robot stuff. And they had customisable avatars. Simple enough, right?

Well, no.

"I-It's a waddle dee tank! I-I can't s-shoot it!" Bandana Dee cried with closed eyes and refused to point his cursor at the screen. Mitchizuka began to attempt to shove his best friend into playing it while Midori freaked out about the rockets because _oh my gosh so many rockets_ and Haddle just bombed everything that moved.

Somehow, even with a two-man team for that level, they managed to clear it. Of course. Haddle would be the top in any sort of game that involved the slightest violence.

And even more thankfully, the other two stages' enemies were a chef-like character and a robotic Dedede. Bandana Dee could play the game without crying.

Then the next day Kirby made them all do work and everybody suffered.

Kirby was so nice and yet so evil.

* * *

**20 September 2014 SGT**

**AmazinglyEarthBound**, **Angel of the Axis**, **Bobby. jr**, **ChuChuLover**, **Demoni****c Lil Angel 2.0**, **Destiny Willowleaf**, **Do****uble Star Productions**, **Lokaio**, **Lunara the Ara**, **Maverick Hunter Bob Hanson**, **Nashew**, **Night****Fury4501**, **OokamiNeko123**, **PrincessLunati****c64**, **RubyDragonKeeper**, **Searing Sunset**, **coleypepwars3679**, **pepdog1**, **shadow kirby 56** and **werehogdog** faved _Minion: 100 Ways of __Ridding of Boredom_!

I don't think saying thanks is even going to begin to express anything so let's not.

So we've got 2579 words on this chapter, excluding author's note and the first bit with the chapter title and all the other stuff. Took me an hour to write so that's just yeesh

The Minion project's been running for almost a year now! And since I deleted my legit first fic it's my oldest fic too. it's just... i dunno. so damn proud of it—I mean look at it. It's a fic about waddle dees and waddle doos and crappy castle minion... which... no... one... ever... looks... at... right?

20 favs and nearly-20 followers is a pretty big achievement if you ask me, then.

So now that's that done, I've got a few things to say about this chapter: Bandana Dee loves working now that Kirby's king so don't even start questioning his attitude to all of this. And yes, Scope Shot _is_ the mini-game from Return to Dream Land.

I got nothing else to say, broskis. (By the TechnoDee encyclopedia... anybody who's read Techno's fics are considered broskis. ha) I'm 100% sleepy because of all the crap that happened today _and_ typing this chapter _so_.

Just remember that this darling toddler fic would probably not have continued without your supportttttt

welp long author's note kthxbye


	51. Aftermath

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-One: Aftermath**

_Bandana Dee did enjoy squirting apple juice at people, but now his brain's half-dead._

* * *

Mitchizuka yawned and wildly flung off his blanket off of him. It landed in some obscure corner of the room. With a half-lidded eye, he turned around to Midori's neon green bed. It was devoid of any living creature. Midori could still get up early even with the mess the previous day. Patting his face and trying to rouse himself, the waddle doo slunk out of bed.

He saw the scoroo at the counter, as usual, and he looked a lot more dead than usual. He wasn't stirring his drink as madly as usual and was instead slumped in his chair and stifling yawns. Many yawns. Haddle sat in his chair comfortably, looking as lively (ahem) as always. He wasn't mad enough to flip around the castle like the others had.

...Uh.

"Where's Bandana Dee?" Mitchizuka asked as he gingerly plopped himself on a seat.

"I thought he was gonna come out instead of _you_." Midori shrugged. "He's not out yet... and I don't wanna move from my seat, so he can just sleep in his room. I don't think anybody cares."

"He will."

"I don't care if he cares."

Mitchizuka stifled a yawn and decided he would somehow try to skip work. The entire castle should be tired, so there was probably no escaping work. Kirby was clever and tricky despite his kind ways, and he's manage to pull off some trick to get them to working.

When Bandana Dee exited the room, had a good look at the clock, he started shrieking and flailing and urging them all to move faster.

* * *

**30 September 2014 SGT**

Exams are over, so now I will sleep all day and do nothing else.


	52. Examinations

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Two: Examinations**

_Minura's behaviour is clearly not normal. (Then again, none of their behaviours are.)  
_

* * *

Haddle was very offended when he saw the puffball and the two other waddle dees reclining in the seats of his living room.

"I locked the door," the healer mentioned.

"I burnt it," Wildfire replied. The black ashes that replaced the door's presence was proof to support her words.

"Why can't you _knock_ like a normal person?"

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, Spaggy suggested we get Minura's brain checked."

The waddle dee pushed his magician hat upwards so it didn't obstruct his vision. "No, I didn't say to get his brain checked... I just wondered if there was anything wrong with him," he defended indignantly.

"Same thing."

"It wasn't as rude."

Haddle folded his arms. "You do realise that I'm a _doctor_, and not a psychologist, or anything similar to that?"

"You could try and _help_. I've never seen anyone who doesn't like crowds without a valid reason and here this exceptional doofus stands. There aren't any psychologists of babblists around these parts."

"So you turn to a _doctor_."

Wildfire seemed somewhat pleased she got her message across safely.

Stumbling off the couch, Midori attempted to attack Haddle from behind. The healer dodged safely and sent the scoroo tumbling into a wall. "It's like asking a potato to grow weeds," Midori supplied helpfully. "It just doesn't work that way."

"As much as I appreciate the support, you dumbbutt, that's a terrible analogy."

"Shush. Also, Wildfire is right in coming here, even if it's two in the morning. This _is_ a twenty-four hour clinic."

"Yeah. And anybody with half a brain can tell that there is this gigantic, flashing sign with the words 'Healer Haddle's' on it which is placed outside the next room beside ours and _hell_ even a _blind_ person could navigate their way to the _correct_ entrance of the _clinic_."

The scoroo folded his arms with a huff, but said nothing else.

Wildfire waved it off dismissively.

"Which comes to the next point. You three. Out of my house. You don't have any other business here since I explained to you very kindly why there is no shit in bringing the noob here."

"What about dissing you?"

"No. Out."

* * *

**5 October 2014 SGT**

telling technodee to stop being lazy?

that's like telling someone to win a game of hockey by only using their tonsils


	53. The Starters in Common

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Three: The Starters in Common**

_When Bandana Dee and Haddle leave the house?_

* * *

"Mitchi, I'm gonna go out on patrol so you're in charge," Bandana Dee announced, "and make sure if there's a fire, run away and _don't_ stand there in awe and get your own butt burnt in the process."

"That has _never_ happened before!" Mitchizuka cried indignantly.

"It nearly did."

Without waiting for any form of retaliation, Bandana Dee slammed the door in the waddle doo's face. Sighing, Mitchizuka turned around to face his room. Might as well just take a nap now that he could. Or eat some of those gummies Bandana Dee had bought last week. Nodding to himself proudly, he sauntered towards the kitchen, only to see a shadow creeping towards the bedroom with the crinkling sound of plastic.

The waddle doo paused in his tracks, blinking curiously, but his mind went blank when he noticed the packet of gummies he was supposed to claim.

"_Midori_!" Mitchizuka yelled, parkour-ing over the couches and bolting towards the door. It gracefully slammed in his face (second door-slam-in-his-face of the day). He raised his stubs and slammed them onto the wooden door continuously. "Open the door!"

"No!"

"Let me in! Those are mine!"

"They aren't yours! I took 'em first! First come, first serve!"

"Didi, you better open the door!"

"Why would you think I'd do that?!"

"Bandana Dee left me in charge! I am the law!"

"As if some crazy lunatic who got an F on his maths test can be the law! Go away! I'll sue you for harassment! You can't do this to me!"

"I've been sugar-deprived for _three days_! _Three days_!"

"I've been sugar-deprived for a _week_, thanks to some orange one-eyed buffoon!"

Thankfully, Haddle managed to get home within the next hour. The few cons remaining was that the door had succumbed to Mitchizuka's rapid beam-firing and bust itself over and the two went in a mad frenzy for the gummies and practically ruined their bedroom. Bandana Dee permitted Haddle to punch both of their faces. The remaining gummies that hadn't been destroyed in the process were tossed into the dragon's mouth.

* * *

**7 October 2014 SGT**

I just restarted Gates to Infinity yesterday and I am _dying_ have you seen the speed of the text


	54. The Return of the Crazy Onion

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Four: The Return of the Crazy Onion**

_Midori didn't return to Kirby's room. Kirby emptied all the onions out at Midori's favourite playground._

* * *

"BANDANA DEEEEEEE!"

"I'm not going to put up with your 'I am dying' scenarios, Didi, don't expe—"

"BUT I _AM_ DYING!"

"I'm going to leave you alone." Bandana Dee continued to scribble away at the feedback given by some clients of _Healer Haddle's_. For some reason, Haddle decided to shove all the signing to the bandana-toting waddle dee because "he was too busy and Bandana Dee was too free". What utter rubbish! He should—

Bandana Dee was promptly whapped on the head by something round and hard. He bolted forward instinctively (something he had learnt from getting hit too many times by Haddle), ruining his comfortable position on the couch and turned around slowly to glare at the assailant. His glare was returned.

After clearing his throat, Midori said, "_I. Am. Dying_."

"And _I. Don't. Care._"

"You don't care, now? How about I shove this onion up your ass? Would you care then?"

"Of course I would. It's _my_ ass. But since that thing is stuck on your hand, I don't care." Bandana Dee's gaze trailed down to Midori's hand. "..._WHAT IS THAT_?"

"The onion from Kirby's room loves me."

"A little too much."

"As you can see."

"Why don't you just stick it onto R. Bonkers' back, or something? I'm sure he'd be too stupid to, uh, notice anything," Bandana Dee suggested. While that had caught his attention, he _really_ didn't have any time for that right then. He had to finish up signing all the feedback forms so Haddle wouldn't snark at him later.

"You want _me_ to go near that buffoon with an onion stuck on my hand? Are you _crazy_? Even if I'm Haddle, fighting with an onion for a stub isn't a very smart thing to do, y'know."

"You can go and find Zinnia."

"I'm positive you're crazy," Midori stated, waving the onion around and narrowing his eye at it.

Eventually, they did manage to stick it on R. Bonkers' back by using the Haddle Distraction tactic.

* * *

**15 October 2014**

i don't understand why some people cannot get that

1\. i have the most obvious inferiority complex.

2\. i am almost never serious so no, you ass, you don't have to come back and start some crapstorm over it.


	55. Acronyms

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Five: Acronyms**

_Now you know what Haddle means.  
_

* * *

"Midori, why are you scribbling away at a piece of paper every day?" Mitchizuka asked, staring curiously at the scoroo. Midori had been shoving a bunch of A5-sized papers into his nightstand drawer, and that prompted the waddle doo to ask.

"It's," Midori began, eyeing the closed drawer warily, "a secret to everybody."

"No, don't give me that crap. What _are_ they?"

"Paper with ink on 'em."

"What does the ink spell out?"

"G'night."

Mitchizuka rolled his eyes as the scoroo strolled out of the room. "You're going on night duty. You're not even sleeping."

"'Goodnight' just means 'have a good night'. Doesn't have to mean I'm sleeping."

"'Goodnight' is the universally accepted term for '_I'm going to sleep, asshat, so don't disturb me_'."

Midori was already out of the door. After a few moments of silence, Mitchizuka decided it was completely safe to invade Midori's works. Slinking (no, he can't do that, he's just trying to make himself sound cool) over to the nightstand, he yanked open the drawer. Very noisily, if I may add.

Nothing but silence followed.

He was still undetected.

Unfortunately, Midori was very skilled in cramming papers into drawers. A whole bundle of them flew out and Mitchizuka suppressed a very loud shriek and lunged forward to grab them. They amazingly stayed in a stack. Upon further scrutinisation, Mitchizuka realised they were bound together. He flipped over a page.

_Bandana Dee_

_Entity of calmness. Minor exceptions._

Mitchizuka blinked. What, was Midori writing out his opinions of his friends so he could advertise them to the world? How rude.

_Mitchizuka_

_Entity of panic. Do not approach._

How _very_ rude.

_Haddle_

_Hyper-Aggressive Destructive Demonic Lasting Evil_

How... uh, surprisingly accurate?

* * *

**16 October 2014 SGT**

you should have _known_ there was going to be a legend of zelda ref one day or another


	56. Doll Maker

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Six: Doll Maker**

_The scariest ones are usually the ones that aren't scary at all._

* * *

"Do puffballs have any side-abilities?" Bandana Dee wondered aloud (mostly to himself). Zinnia, who was unfortunately nearby, snorted.

"Why you asking _me_?"

"I wasn't asking you, and aren't you a puffball in the first place?"

"What? Me? Cel says I'm brilliant at scaring people."

That wasn't a side-ability. That was a natural skill that only few could learn.

Midori jumped up from the patch of grass he had been napping on. "I'm gonna go see Old Geezer."

Unfortunately, Haddle and Mitchizuka were both out for their duties. Bandana Dee and Midori didn't make a very good combination by themselves, but at least somebody like Zinnia who was an active R. Bonkers repel was there. (If Haddle wasn't there, get somebody else. As such, that is how life works.)

"Speaking of him, I'm pretty surprised Celeste didn't decide to tag along with you today." Celeste was usually around to make sure Zinnia didn't actually kill somebody.

"Pft. She's at home, doing all her knitting shit and stuff. Not interesting."

At Old Geezer's place, while Midori settled business with the old guy, Bandana Dee took note Celeste _was_ actually sewing something. Zinnia was being surprisingly truthful that day

"You're making a waddle doo doll?" Bandana Dee asked curiously.

Celeste's face lit up as she fondly poked at the half-completed doll. "No, this is Mitchizuka!"

(She sounded surprisingly alive. She didn't usually sound that upbeat.)

"She has one of you too," Zinnia muttered huffily, "and that wingy guy, whatever his name was… and… Le Elusive Pineapple…"

"His name is Rad Bonkers, Sis."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever the case is, she can whip up one in a few seconds, so dunno why the hell she wants to take the long and slow path," Zinnia continued (rather condescendingly).

"You know I'm not good at that."

"Why do you make so many?" A second later, Bandana Dee found that to be stupid. Of course it was just a hobby. (Unfortunately wrong.)

"You want to see?" The way Celeste asked it, it seemed very innocent. When Bandana Dee nodded, she reached for the Bandana Dee doll in the cardboard box next to her. Then she passed it to Zinnia, which might not have been the best idea. "Don't destroy it too much, Sis."

Bandana Dee thanked whatever deity there was in their universe that Zinnia wasn't feeling very sadistic at that point in time, and felt very blessed that Celeste's voodoo skills didn't belong to the psychopath herself.

* * *

**17 October 2014**

so i thought along the lines of "give unsuspecting person voodoo doll" because who isn't deathly terrified of voodoo dolls

celeste _can_ use the bell ability to a very small extent. it's weak 101.


	57. Insect Fiends

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Seven: Insect Fiends**

_Majority of the people are terrified of insects, dead or alive._

* * *

"_BANDANA DEEEEE_!"

Bandana Dee sighed and placed his cheek on a stub thoughtfully. Why did shit always start with someone yelling for him?

"_HELP HELP HELP HELP_!"

And said "someone" was requesting for help.

"COCKROACH! IN! THE! HOUSE!"

Okay, _that_ got his attention. Bandana Dee stood up and headed straight for the door. Midori's eye twitched in annoyance when he saw the waddle dee in the middle of his absconding.

"You _chicken_!"

"You're not any better."

"Yeah, well—_no_, you come back here and get rid of the cockroach yourself!"

_Now_ do you see why shit goes down without Haddle? Well, you should've figured that out a long time ago.

Mitchizuka had, for some reason, decided it was a good idea to perch himself on top of the washing machine. Must've been the stupidest idea he'd ever gotten that month. The brown roundish little asshole which haunted many's lives was crawling behind the couch.

"Don't we have insecticide or something?" ..._Says the waddle dee who was already out of the door_.

"You threw it away! You said it 'expired' or some shit! Look, Bandana, I am going to _jump_ out of this _window_ if it comes one foot away from the washing machine!"

Bandana Dee had to run to the store nearby and buy some insecticide, thankfully in time before Mitchizuka decided to leap out of the window.

* * *

**18 October 2014**

This took _twenty_ minutes altogether (thinking idea/writing it) and it only took fifteen minutes to actually write this. the other ten minutes? i was sitting down and analysing a dead cockroach.

now who wants to hear about how my 3ds' bottom screen is colour blind


	58. All the Weirdos

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Eight: All the Weirdos**

_Bandana Dee has always known he's a little "out there", but he didn't expect so many people to be._

* * *

"—I'm telling you, you're a lowly commoner who isn't even _worthy_ of my respect. I truly wonder why that other brat even decides to tolerate you," the waddle dee snorted as he walked alongside the waddle doo, looking extremely haughty. Him and his "friend" (uh?) were walking around the Minion Hallways and apparently aimlessly wandering.

"Then... why are you hanging around me, Quop..?" The waddle doo knew the way the waddle dee was acting was only temporary, but he hoped it ended soon.

"Are you stupid, or are you extremely stupid? Even if I walk away and leave you in a deep dark ditch, that other brat will come running back to you once he has his turn, anyway. Which he absolutely _doesn't_ deserve, who the hell does he think he is?"

"Well... you're practically the same per—"

"No, don't even _complete_ that sentence. We are _not_ the same, and we will _never_ be. I refuse to acknowledge the brat, so—_ow_!"

"Oops! ...Whoops! I'm sorry! Bandana Dee, _apologise_."

"You don't need to tell me—wait! I didn't even bump into him!"

Mitchizuka sat on his rear, mocking a fake cry when Bandana Dee bopped him on the head. He looked at the waddle dee he had bumped into. Strange fellow, he knew. It had been talking so haughtily earlier... he hoped it wasn't a Haddle Number Three.

The waddle dee jumped, suddenly looking nervous and bowed towards Mitchizuka, which surprised everybody except the waddle doo. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you! It... Well, it _technically_ wasn't my fault, but I'm sorry!"

..._What_?

"What do you mean it technically wasn't your fault?! You're to blame here to, y'know!" Mitchizuka burst out, looking very annoyed. This intrigued Haddle, puzzled Bandana Dee and Midori—well, Midori wasn't paying attention much. He was staring at a bunch of nearby doughnuts in a bakery shop.

"W-Wha—"

"Quap, let me handle it," the waddle doo offered. The one named Quap nodded, looking dazed and stepped backwards. "First of all, he's Quap. Or Quop. It depends, really. I'm Quili, his... well, _I_ consider them my best friends, and Quap certainly does... dunno about Quop. That fellow has some minor god complex or something..."

"What are you onto about now?" Bandana Dee inquired, folding his arms. Midori had just run off into the bakery. "What's this with Quop and Quap? I only see two of you here, not three."

Quili sighed, while Quap—Quop?—trembled behind him. "Okay, it's always tricky explaining this... but Quap here has a little thing called dissociative identity disorder."

"_What_?" Mitchizuka squinted. "Can you explain that again?"

"Well..." Quili squinted. "Perhaps you could say 'split identity' too, that'd work, but dissociative identity disorder is the more proper term, I guess... It's kind of like... two identities living in one person."

Mitchizuka looked very confused. Haddle looked as if he knew what Quili was saying and Bandana Dee had a blank look on his face. A few passers-by looked at Quili in some surprise when he mentioned "dissociative identity disorder" but none of them said anything.

"...How does that _make_ any sense?" Poor Mitchizuka. That was too much for his brain to handle.

"Well... sometimes he's Quap, who's very self-conscious and sensitive and whatnot... The other identity he has is Quop, who has a _really_, _really_ high horse..."

Mitchizuka sniffled. "Oh, look. This waddle doo's a scientist, and I'm _so_ stupid compared to him. Well, I feel like I am—"

"You _are_," Bandana Dee accused.

"...I'm a girl, by the way."

Haddle looked at Quili, baffled. "What?"

"You referred to me as 'him'. I know I don't sound like a girl, or a boy, for that matter, and you can't really tell with waddle doos... but, um, I'm a girl."

..._Well_.

Quap crossed his arms. "Um—Um, Quili, that's enough, I think they get it, and it's my problem, anyway."

Completely ignoring Quap, Haddle continued to ask, "When does he 'switch' identities, though?"

Quili shrugged. "Usually, there are symptoms for some of 'em... For Quap, though, there doesn't seem like much provokes him into switching identities... I know if he's been hit out of surprise, he'll switch identities, but sometime he just zones out, too. It's got something to do with what he's thinking, I guess..."

"So he's an utter problem in fights," Bandana Dee muttered. Quili had unfortunately sharp ears.

"Well, Quop... _usually_ doesn't let his opponents win..."

Looks like Quop was another Haddle.

With a minor god complex. _Real_ minor. Well, god complex didn't suit it, more like nobody-is-as-good-as-me complex. At least _Haddle_ wasn't like that.

* * *

**19 October 2014**

no, dissociative identity disorder is _not_ a thing i just made up! rude. (also, if you can't remember where Quop/Quap's names were first mentioned and his DID was hinted, it's in chapter 46.)

you wanted to hear about my colour-blind 3DS bottom screen? sure.

well, when i say colour-blind, I really _mean_ colour-blind. Green turns to red and red turns to... well, not green, but some kind of... yellowish colour? It's nearly the same as shiny groudon's main colour. That should probably help.

Yep, and that's it. That's _it_. It's colour-blind and nothing else. Examples? I'll just go ahead and use SSB4 because that's the only thing I've been playing recently. Uh... Luigi's mainly red instead of green, Link's outfit looks like dull pink... The default Yoshi colour looks like its red colour scheme...

(it doesn't just affect red and green _only_, you know. purple yoshi looks like light blue yoshi.)

And that is the relatively compressed version of my 3DS' colour-blind-ness. It looks awful and I can't actually _see_ the colour customs properly, but to hell with that. it just boosts my ego that i can make my 3DS become colour-blind when I've only had it for a year. (and technically, it got colour-blind a little while back, but i wasn't playing my 3DS much so i didn't care much for it.)


	59. Eat the Tail

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Fifty-Nine: Eat the Tail**

_Mitchizuka likes playing games, but Bandana Dee does not like it when Mitchizuka plays games._

* * *

"—_NO! NONONONONONO! SON OF A_—"

Bandana Dee winced when he walked into the living room where Mitchizuka and Midori were. The waddle doo was tapping furiously away at the console with his eye narrowed while the scoroo was asleep on another couch, snoring.

How did he not wake up? Let us not question that.

"Mitchi—"

Mitchizuka cut him off with a shrill scream that should not have been humanly possible. Well, he _was_ a waddle doo, but that didn't justify anything.

Bandana Dee wondered how his vocal chords were still intact.

Midori only stirred on the couch slightly, but made no other indication that he was disturbed by the monstrous noise.

"You know _what_ asshole?! I will _beat_ you down back to your eggshells and send you to the fiery pits of hell and—what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?! I'll kill your _ass_!"

The waddle dee slowly crept towards Mitchizuka as slowly as possible while covering where his ears would be. You see how things could spiral out of control without Haddle? If the healer were there, the waddle doo would already have been slapped to hell and back.

"Oh my _god_ you are so _irri_—"

"Mitchizuka can you shut up I'm trying to enjoy my break period," Bandana Dee said in a mumble, bending over to attempt to swipe the console away from Mitchizuka. When it didn't work, the leader of the waddle dees whipped out his spear. "I said I'm—"

More incoherent screaming.

Thankfully, this one was loud enough.

"Shut _UP_ already!" Midori screeched, lashing his tail towards the damn game-playing waddle doo. Midori was merciless and had terrifying accuracy, and with both combined, Mitchizuka successfully burst a hole in the wall to where... oops, to where Haddle's room was. Thank _God_ he wasn't in.

The scoroo promptly returned to his nap, curling up and snoring again. Bandana Dee figured Midori's break was already over, but since the scoroo had given him a nice break of peace, he wouldn't badger him about it.

* * *

**20 October 2014**

the question is, was Mitchizuka dying or succeeding on that screen?


	60. The Terrifying Faces

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty: The Terrifying Faces**

_They are finally gone.  
_

* * *

"_Yes_! Ha_ha_! Look at you now, huh?!"

Bandana Dee shivered. Yesterday he had been screaming "NO" and today he was screaming "yes". This terrified him, but not to such a great extent. In any case, he should examine why...

...Mitchizuka was yelling at a wall. Yes, he should start analysing that.

Thankfully, Haddle and Midori had swapped positions from the last time; Haddle was walking around with them and Midori was stuck with patrolling the yards. Midori took action only when he was being disturbed to a point, and Haddle took action whenever Mitchizuka or Midori did something. Simple enough, right?

"_What. Is. It?_" Haddle ground out, looking as pissed as a pissed Haddle should look like.

The waddle dee carefully inspected the wall, but found nothing noteworthy. It was flat—_completely_ flat—and was painted a dull green. There was _nothing_ more about it. It was a perfectly normal and harmless wall. He knocked on it to check if it was hollow (could be a revolving wall) but it wasn't. Analysis results? Mitchizuka had lost his mind.

Smiling brightly, Mitchizuka pointed towards the completely normal, completely flat and dull green-coloured wall. "See? This wall used to have a Dedede face carved on it! And now it's _gone_!"

Haddle looked like he was about to punch something. Very hard. "That project has been going on ever since Kirby came, and it's been a few months since then so _what_ is your point?"

Mitchizuka scowled—an inappropriate action in front of Haddle, as in _Haddle_, or termed by Midori "Hyper-Aggressive Destructive Demonic Lasting Evil"—and folded his arms. The scowl was replaced with an oddly bright beam.

"I checked a while back that _this_ is one of the last few walls to be flattened. And _yesterday_, the second-to-last wall that I knew hadn't been flattened yet was finally flattened. I even checked with the construction manager that there was only one more stretch of walls that was going to be flattened and it's _finally_ flattened. Do you know what this means? This means that we will never have to see the previous king's terrifying face on the walls again, or be disturbed in the middle of the night by construction. Everybody knows why the former is a pro, but the latter? So that Bandana Dee won't bash my head to go and tell me to shut the construction workers up. Which is why, it's wonderful. It's _fantastic_. It's so fantastic that I think we could throw a party over this and perhaps invite everyone, except that would be inconvenient to a lot of people in the castle so I won't, but it's _fan—tas—tic_. Should I run down the fields screaming to express my utter joy?"

Haddle's left eye twitched in very obvious annoyance while Bandana Dee blinked at the waddle doo, looking rather innocent.

"Well, uh, sorry—I was a little dazed. You mind repeating that?"

* * *

**21 October 2014**

halloween special?

_**HECK YES**_/no

who wants to play smash even though i'm bad at it


	61. Mud Cakes

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-One: Mud Cakes**

_When Midori and Mitchizuka "experiment" on something, it usually brings about destruction and a very high chance of death._

* * *

Jillie was resting on top of Giggle's shed when a loud shriek resounded, followed by an extremely ominous destruction noise. The ghost gave a start, before floating down to the door of Giggle's shed.

_"I'm going to check on what happened," _she said firmly.

The dragon snorted nonchalantly.

She pushed open the door to Haddle's clinic, making the healer whip around and after realising it was only the ghost, he folded his arms. "If you're going to check on that explosion those two idiots made—"

_"They made an explosion?!"_

"No, they obviously just baked a cake successfully."

Jillie ignored Haddle's blunt sarcasm and floated through the wall to where their room was. As soon as she was through the wall completely, she coughed and stared in utter astonishment. Thick, black smoke floated from where the living room was. Struggling without a clear sight, she _somehow_ made her way to the living room and was met with Bandana Dee's mixed expression of fury and dismay.

_"...What happened here?"_

"This," Bandana Dee replied, gesturing to the source of the smoke—the kitchen, "is what happens when you let those two try and bake a cake. I went to go take a piss for _one_ minute and they can screw things up in that short span of time."

Haddle was terrifyingly accurate. Aside from the "successfully" bit.

The scoroo made his way out of the kitchen unscathed, but Mitchizuka was still nowhere to be found. (Probably still unable to make his way out of the kitchen, which was now the Cave of Smoke.) Without any mercy, Bandana Dee immediately started ranting and giving Midori an earful which was very obviously ignored, and seeing that Midori should quickly sit down and drink a cup of water, Bandana Dee shoved the responsibility of finding the waddle doo into Jillie's hands.

It couldn't be _too_ hard; the kitchen was small. Jillie inhaled (no, not Kirby's inhale, she's a _ghost_) deeply before sneaking her way into the kitchen.

_"Mitchizuka, I think you should step out of all this smoke, it's not really healthy."_

The waddle doo was quickly found, with his bright orange structure going _horribly_ against the smoke, and even if he didn't have a mouth to display some sort of emotion, the way his expression was all bright alerted Jillie that there was something that she was not aware of. In his stubs, he was carrying a tray and a sloppy-looking... mud-coloured block.

"Riri!" Mitchizuka yelled.

Midori miraculously resurrected from his half-dying state. "_I told you not to call me that!_"

"We did it!" Mitchizuka went on, ignoring the scoroo's words and lifting the tray above his head and sauntering out of the smoke proudly. "We made a cake!"

* * *

**22 October 2014**

i'll leave you guys to decide how that happened.


	62. Role-Playing

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Two: Role-Playing  
**

_Zinnia's got a handful of weird interests._

* * *

Frankly, Mitchizuka wasn't sure why Bandana Dee even agreed to the whole situation. The waddle dee was always sensible, sure, but that didn't justify his choice to just comply with the request. None of them were sick, anyway. This whole stupid "doctor and patient" thing was pretty ominous to the waddle doo, especially since it was a lunatic conducting it.

He himself questioned why he didn't struggle when Bandana Dee all but dragged him towards Old Geezer's place. Well, perhaps it was for the better. Without the scoroo and Haddle, they didn't really have a chance to resist the female leviathan because she could stab and skewer them on a whim. The waddle doo shivered. Yeah, that wasn't a pretty thought.

The "waiting room" was simply Celeste's room. Mitchizuka would have felt bad if it were any other girl's room, but Celeste not so much, seeing as how it was literally filled to the brim with unadulterated innocence. Celeste always came off as kiddish—her room was stuffed with dolls, anyway. Not much else to see.

"Why did _you_ even agree to come?" Mitchizuka inquired, glancing at the waddle dee who was jabbing at a doll mocking R. Bonkers.

"Because, you know, what Zinnia said is partially right. You and your parents _do_ have an exceptionally rocky relationship and we should do something about it," Bandana Dee explained, lifting the doll and moving its arms. "I obviously don't think Zinnia will help much, but Celeste might."

"Why did Zinnia even think of it?"

"I dunno. She said something about _ridding of boredom_ and _trying out __syringes for the first time_."

"...Holy hell, she has syringes? Nope. Nope, I'm out of here. Bye."

With impeccable timing, Zinnia slammed open the wooden door with a beam evident on her face. "Right-o, kid! Just make your way to the examination room. We've got a bunch of stuff that's gonna help you for sure."

Mitchizuka's eye twitched. "'Examination room'...?"

"The kitchen," Celeste, who was standing behind her older sister, supplied helpfully.

The kitchen was a bit small, with a few stools accompanied by a round table in the middle. Zinnia instructed them to _get their asses on the stools and shut up while she looked for stuff_, which they did so.

"All right, so," Zinnia began, yanking out a messily-drawn chart, "I believe the source of your stress stems from your ill relationship with your parents."

"My relationship with my parents is _fine_."

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know? Wherever the heck Egypt is, some alternate dimension..." She clicked her tongue. "Whatever. You. Mitchi-something. Go open that cupboard, and please get the phial out here and try to ignore the dead guy in there."

Sliding off his seat somewhat reluctantly, Mitchizuka went and got the phial out there and tried to ignore the dead guy in there.

"Be careful with it!" Zinnia exclaimed a little loudly, making Celeste beside her recoil. The puffball plopped back down in her stool after snatching the phial from the waddle doo. "Good, you were careful with it. It contains a special kind of scoroo liquid, you see."

"Aren't scoroo liquids... usually... like, dangerous?" Bandana Dee inquired, staring in terror as Zinnia popped open the lid.

"Yes," Celeste replied hesitantly.

Ignoring their conversation, Zinnia inserted the liquid into the syringe before lifting it up proudly with a huge, creepy smile.

"Okay, Mitchi-something, this liquid is going to _relieve_ _your stress_ once I inject it into your eyeball. Now sit down like a good doggy or I'll get Celeste to help me out with that."

* * *

**24 October 2014**

i didn't feel like writing proper stuff, and improper stuff is zinnia.


	63. The Call

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Three: The Call**

_After obtaining some sort of communication, Mitchizuka's parents are pretty much going to badger him about everything._

* * *

After getting a shift in schedule, Midori had to handle dinner. He couldn't bake, but at least he could cook normal food. Haddle usually came back late, but after much of Midori's (and some of Bandana Dee's) whining, the healer decided to leave off early that day.

"The pasta is now stale now that both of you took such a long time," Midori stated, twirling his fork nonchalantly.

"Shush, you. At least we're here now." Bandana Dee took a seat and jabbed at his stale pasta uncomfortably. "Will reheating it work?"

"Our microwave and oven kind of got busted during the cake incident, and the stove is not an option."

Bandana Dee sullenly began to eat his pasta.

After a few minutes ot eating in silence, Haddle looked up and glanced around for a moment. "Where's Mitchizuka? Does he have night duty or something?" he asked, giving Bandana Dee a questioning look.

"Uh, well, he's in the bedroom for now. Speaking of which, Riri—"

"_Don't_ call me that!" Midori yelled in frustration.

"—we may have to sleep in the living room tonight. I don't think Mitchizuka's gonna open the door the way he is right now." Under Haddle's inquiring gaze, Bandana Dee continued, "We had a short incident with Zinnia earlier today, and we only barely dodged the scoroo liquid."

"...Don't tell me about it," Haddle decided.

Mitchizuka's phone picked the worst time to ring. Midori jumped, screamed, and ran off to the kitchen to hide himself from the "evil", Bandana Dee assumed. Haddle didn't budge from his seat, so Bandana Dee took it upon himself to go and pick up the phone.

After fumbling with it, he checked the caller's identity, but it just ended up as a bunch of numbers. Seeing as how he had no other options, he answered.

"_...Mitchi! Is that you?_"

"Um, no, this is his roommate, Bandana Dee. Mitchizuka is..." Bandana Dee racked his brain for an excuse, "...in the shower right now, so he can't speak with you right now."

"_Oh... I see. This is Mitchizuka's mother, by the way, Bandana Dee.__ You know, your mother's friend? I recently got Mitchi's number and I needed to ask him if everything was okay! I mean, I can't have my poor son suffering, right? I heard you got a change! I mean, the king got changed to some person called 'Kirby'! If he's ever abusing—_"

"We're doing pretty happily thanks I'll make sure to get Mitchi to call you back," Bandana Dee rapidly interrupted, before clicking the red button to end the call.

"You said his mum didn't care for him," Haddle mused.

"...I wasn't being serious."

* * *

**25 October 2014**

everybody refuses to call midori "didi" anymore because they don't see how he formed it, so "riri" seemed like a good replacement to them.


	64. Trauma

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Four: Trauma**

_Mitchizuka absolutely, hundred-percent, completely, definitely does not want to go back to Old Geezer's place._

* * *

"_No_! _No n__o no no no_!"

"Haddle," Bandana Dee pleaded, tugging at the crying waddle doo, "you _have_ to help. I'd leave Mitchizuka in the house except for he's bound to cause another explosion with no supervision. _Please_." He tried jump-floating to jerk at Mitchizuka, but it didn't work.

"Good point."

Midori had to do some business with Old Geezer once again, and Bandana Dee wanted to know what kind of magnificent tea they drank. Mitchizuka, however, was dead set on _not_ going back there. The waddle dee couldn't really blame him, since, after all, his eyeball nearly melted under the scoroo acid that Zinnia _somehow_ obtained, but that still was no justifiable. Celeste stopped her sister, and she could do it again, and hell, Old Geezer was there, too.

After thinking it over, Haddle agreed to helping Bandana Dee. "So, what am I supposed to do?"

"I... well, I guess just push him into the air. I'll just have to struggle with jump-floating until we reach the nearest transporter station." Jump-floating tired him out, especially with a flailing waddle doo, but he didn't actually have a choice.

Nodding, Haddle simply kicked Mitchizuka into the air with no warning. Bandana Dee immediately jumped up, carrying Mitchizuka along with him in the air. Being in the air prevented Mitchizuka from planting his feet in the ground stubbornly, and he definitely was too much in a panic to jump-float. Concentration usually wasn't required to jump-float for most, but Mitchizuka fell under the "not most" category. Which meant he needed concentration to jump-float.

After bidding Haddle goodbye, they struggled towards the transporter station and managed to safely get Mitchizuka to Old Geezer's place. It was a real challenge until Midori threatened to actually melt Mitchizuka's eyeball with his own scoroo acid. Thankfully foolproof, and Mitchizuka stopped flailing around. Bandana Dee briefly wondered why Midori didn't do that earlier.

Zinnia swung open their door with a wide beam. "Oh, look! It's my former patient! I guess he's doing fine now, huh? I mean, if he's not doing well, we'll give 'im another injection. I still have more of that stuff."

"Oh, no." Mitchizuka jumped away, eye wide. "Bandana, she has a freaking _dead guy_ in the cupboard. There is something seriously wrong with her—"

"Hey! That's symptoms of being stressed!" Zinnia curled her lip. "...Well, I guess that means another injection, huh? And, uh, Mr Mitchi, I threw the dead guy in the garbage already. Well, Cel did, because she said it was starting to stink and it was 'creepy'."

Midori had already taken it upon himself to enter the room and talk with Old Geezer. Bandana Dee politely entered the room while dragging a raging Mitchizuka behind him. They had a seat in the living room and tried to ignore the fact that there used to be a corpse somewhere in their living quarters.

Bandana Dee tried to start a conversation with Zinnia since there wasn't anything else to do. Celeste was nowhere to be seen. "So, um... why did you have a dead guy in your cupboard?"

"...Huh? Oh, 'cause he was irritating me and wouldn't stop bugging me, so I just gave him a lesson." She shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not like it _matter_, right? That was his final punishment, might as well make it the best."

Bandana Dee made a mental note to _never_, _ever_ make her annoyed.

"So, we need a re-injection, right?"

"Uh, there's no need," Bandana Dee replied with a nervous smile. "You should save your scoroo liquid for other patients."

"I don't _have_ any patients. I'm no doctor." Tilting her head, Zinnia continued, "But trying it out on Le Elusive Pineapple _does_ sound like a good choice..."

Even Mitchizuka wouldn't wish that sort of fate on R. Bonkers.

* * *

**26 October 2014**

well, _fine_, if you won't talk about sad things, then can i get a hug?


	65. Mood Swings

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Five: "Mood Swings"**

_Quap's sudden changes are rather difficult to deal with._

* * *

Quili's sleepy look didn't change even when Bandana Dee and Mitchizuka showed up at her door.

"Oh. Hello," was all she said, before she turned around and walked further into her dormitory. Bandana Dee took that as an invitation to come in, so he hesitantly crept into the room. A round table with four stools around it sat in one corner and a sofa in the other. In the _other other_ corner was a stove and cupboards and kitchen things and whatnot. It was that kind of un-posh room that crammed everything but the bedrooms in one room.

"You stay here with Quap?" Bandana Dee hesitantly asked. He wouldn't be surprised if that happened to be the case; the room was extremely small and looked rather cramped at a glance.

The waddle doo, who was pouring some water (for them, Bandana Dee assumed), nodded. "No one else is really willing to deal with Quap's disorder... so..." Yawning, she set the cups down on the round table. "Quap himself doesn't like people very much, anyway."

"So you're like his adopted older sister."

"...Sort of..."

"But you're the same age," Mitchizuka continued, settling down and slurping on his water. Bandana Dee nudged him painfully.

"No, I _think_ I'm older than him... by a couple of years, maybe."

It was then Bandana Dee noticed the waddle dee huddling behind the sofa. Assuming he was still in his Quap-mode, he waved. "Hey! Quap! Hi!"

The waddle dee jumped up to the arm of the sofa, looking extremely furious. Bandana Dee was taken aback by his expression. "Did you just say 'Quap'? No, I'm not that disgustingly shy and sweet waddle dee who doesn't have two legs to stand on. It's just that I don't like. Seeing. Your. Face."

"Quop, calm down, we already had a talk about this," Quili reminded. Mitchizuka wondered how such a gentle being such as Quili could even have a _talk_ with anyone.

"Yeah, that talk was full of crap—"

Bandana Dee felt like experimenting with the dissociative identity disorder kid, so he threw the nearest tissue box at him. The waddle dee promptly fell over and Quili stared at the fallen Quop with a blink.

"Bandana... try not to be so violent. Quop doesn't like it..."

"_Wha__—when _did I _get_ here?!" Quap's alarmed voice rang, he peeked out from behind the sofa. "B-Bandana Dee, a-and—Mitchizuka! When did they come?!"

"He doesn't remember the things that Quop did," Quili told Bandana Dee when she saw his puzzled expression. "They arrived just now... I guess you can head back to your room if you don't feel like talking to them..."

"I think I'll head back." Right after saying that, Quap tripped very neatly, and fell flat on his face. His head snapped up, gaze furious once again. "..._That damn brat_! Ohhh, I wish I could beat 'im up! D'you think giving myself a few scars would make him feel pain, too?!"

Bandana Dee made a mental note that Quop called Quap a "brat".

"How do you _live_ with this every day?" Mitchizuka huffed

Quili gave a nonchalant shrug.

* * *

**28 October 2014**

so yesterday i got busy for most of the day then when i got _back_ i spent the rest of the day not doing anything productive


	66. Help Thy Enemy

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Six: Help Thy Enemy**

_Or try to._

* * *

"Look, Zinnia, I _know_ I said he's irritating but it doesn't mean this had to happen."

Zinnia scoffed, throwing her head back mockingly. "_Hypocrite_."

"I never _asked_ you to squirt scoroo acid at him!" Bandana Dee bit back, rolling his eyes as he saw the training grounds, half-melted, with R. Bonkers attempting to hide behind _something_. How did she even have some unlimited supply of that? "Riri, you have things to explain."

"If I don't give her my scoroo acid she will kill me with toothpicks," Midori reasoned, huffing and folding his arms.

"Valid point."

When Bandana Dee and Midori decided to waltz into the training room, they found the room half-melted, and R. Bonkers legitimately screaming and running around, and Zinnia trying to melt his eyeballs. Celeste sat in a corner, looking unperturbed, with a doll resembling her sister hanging by her side as she knitted up another one. When Bandana Dee asked her why she hadn't tried to stop her sister, Celeste coolly replied that Zinnia was, unfortunately, "dead set on this one".

The beetle-puffball turned back to observe the training grounds. R. Bonkers had concealed himself surprisingly well. It only took her five seconds to come up with the plan of randomly spraying acid.

"Why didn't your grandfather—Old Geezer, right?—just give Zinnia dolls to play with instead of letting her murder people?" Bandana Dee asked Celeste, sitting down next to the bell-puffball. (Sure, he felt mildly uneasy because of her voodoo abilities, but still, she was _Celeste_.) "She doesn't seem like she'd want to disobey Old Geezer."

"We did let her play with dolls at one point."

"Then?"

"She started trying to shove them down people's throats and kill them."

"Is there _anything_ normal about her?"

"Um. Well, I suppose she knows how to behave. I mean, if it's something she _knows_ she has to respect, like the current king." Celeste squinted when Zinnia tossed the syringe away and simply started charging with her horn directed at R. Bonkers. "Sis, try not to kill him."

Midori attempted to interfere, but after a brief conversation with Zinnia dubbing Midori's new nickname "Ririn", she bolted right past him. Bandana Dee watched the incident with much sympathy.

"How do you survive being so easy with a sister like that?"

"It's not a big deal. You learn at least one thing from a person."

"She kills people and stuffs them in your _kitchen cupboard_, Celeste. What could you possibly learn from that?"

After looking up at the ceiling for about two seconds, Celeste replied, "How to terrify people, I guess?"

* * *

**30 October 2014**

Halloween's tomorrow hmmm i still haven't started writing that dee army halloween thing Nash-ko aha_haha_ha

Well, I dreamed of dead people—corpses—last night. It is truly the Halloween season.


	67. Illegal Pumpkins

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Seven: Halloween: Illegal Pumpkins**

_Bandana Dee tries to help convince some people that pumpkins cannot be illegal in any way._

* * *

"How's your haunted house holding up?"

It was lunch break and Bandana Dee had decided to drag Mitchizuka around to talk with the others. Naturally, he headed over to the nearest one, which Celeste, her sister and a handful of others were running.

The puffball shrugged. "Sis is doing a good job of scaring them thoroughly. All I have to do is control the dolls from a hidden room to, um, 'freak them out because they think the doll has a life of its own'. Or that's what Sis said."

"How would you control a doll? Aren't you supposed to control living beings?" Mitchizuka asked in confusion.

"...It's called a voodoo doll of a doll."

Bandana Dee decided not to ask any further. "Where's Zinnia?"

"She went off to buy lunch. She'll be back soon, I think."

"Then we better go bye Celeste!" Bandana Dee blurted out in a rush, yanking on Mitchizuka's eyelashes to walk faster, away from the haunted house.

Kirby had decided to please the villagers because Dedede did a terrible job of that. He sent out some of the minions to hold stalls within the village for the specific Halloween occasion. All Bandana Dee and his other three bunch of unnerving companions simply sold jack-o'-lanterns. Which Midori was fantastic at making.

The waddle dee also had to convince that yes, the pumpkins were grown within the castle and were not bought or stolen illegally from other countries of Pop Star. The villagers were _really_ stubborn. He wondered how the previous kings had handled them.

"What's your stall supposed to _be_, Wildfire?" Bandana Dee asked curiously, poking at the items displayed at the counter. Whapping him on the head was a good enough action to tell him to stop jabbing at it.

"It's candy for the kids. And for the adults who forgot to buy them. It's better than having a haunted house that's way too troublesome."

"...We get _candy_ on Halloween?" Mitchizuka asked with an amazed expression.

"Yeah, you didn't know?"

"...Can I get some, then?"

* * *

**31 October 2014**

yeah just 'cause it's Halloween doesn't mean I'm gonna write some one thousand word thing I never said that

I'm kind of pressed for time so you can have some other stuff tomorrow


	68. Pity the Prisoner

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Eight: Pity the Prisoner**

_Don't bother arguing with Celeste. It'll get you nowhere._

* * *

It was Celeste's turn to keep watch over Dedede's cell. Zinnia advised her that if somebody attacked her, she'd just have to yell or make some obvious signal and she would hurry up to "stab the little shit's guts out". Celeste politely declined her offer.

Dedede, personally, thought Celeste was a creepy kid. Who sewed dolls? Voodoo dolls, last he heard?

"Kid, do you ever talk to bad people?" he asked out of boredom. She didn't seem like the type who would yell at him. Unlike a certain beetle-capped puffball...

After humming, sewing more bits of the doll he hadn't bothered looking at, she replied, "You are not a bad person."

"_Me_? Not a bad person? That's a first."

"Really? Nobody's ever told you you're not a bad person before? Not even your mother?"

"She died when I was _two_."

Celeste hummed again.

"I'm as evil as the big bad wolf is," Dedede offered. Perhaps that'd give her an idea. She seemed childish, so she'd know all those childish tales, right? Like the three pigs and the wolf—or was it a fox?—or whatever.

"Oh. That means you're not a bad person."

Did the kid have some issues with her head?

"Kid, the wolf tried to _eat_ the pigs, and he failed 'cause he's evil. You've heard of that one before, right?"

"I have. The wolf wasn't bad." She paused in her sewing for a moment. "Eating others is something everyone does. It's only natural. He just wanted a meal, he didn't want to sadistically torture them for no reason." (...Unlike one of her close relatives.)

"So... by your logic, the _pigs_ are bad."

"No, they were just trying to defend themselves. It's normal for a prey to run when they see something of danger." She continued sewing and humming.

"Kid, you make no sense."

"Regardless, you _were_ selfish. You do selfish acts on a whim."

Okay, she _was_ making sense now. Congrats to her.

"But it's normal for somebody to be selfish. I get selfish about my own dolls, too. So, you aren't bad."

Nope, still had problems.

The next guard arrived to take her place. They had a short conversation, and after proving with a card he was indeed the next guard, he could hear shuffling. The mad kid was leaving, at least. He hoped this guard would be talkative, too. Most guards were unfriendly, but some _did_ have a conversation or two with him.

He felt something being thrown on him. ...It felt soft. Like a pillow.

He picked it off his shoulder—he was facing the wall, just so you know—and stared at the intruding object.

It was a doll—a replica—of him.

...

Kid had _real_ problems. Should go get her brain checked.

* * *

**31 October 2014**

double update because i'm feeling hardworking (COUGH) today

I've always been questioning fairy tales...


	69. To Save Your Rears

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Sixty-Nine: To Save Your Rears**

_Don't say what you want to say, say what they want to hear._

* * *

"Why did we _ever_ agree to this?!"

"Ask _yourself_!"

Zephyr stared curiously at the running waddle dee and waddle doo. They were running around a rather empty hallway, screaming at each other and pointing and screaming again and Mitchizuka occasionally firing beams from his eye.

"What do you think they're doing, Peap?"

"I—um... I can't tell."

"Odd. Neither can I."

"_That_!" Mitchizuka screamed, pointing at the floor. Zephyr noticed an unusual-looking onion rolling around. Were those _spikes_? "Kirby told us to babysit it while he went to fetch the researchers, and now it's _attacking_ us! It's a new stage of development and it's a _bad_ one!"

"Your scoroo friend is usually the one handling it."

"_He's not around today!_"

Bandana Dee skittered across the floor. He seemed to be less panicky than the waddle doo, but he was having trouble running around and dodging the onion that seemed to have a mind of its own.

Twirling her parasol absentmindedly, Zephyr observed the situation before sighing. "Aren't you supposed to be all right and face it?"

"Why would we?" Bandana Dee asked with a blank stare.

"You're a boy, aren't you?"

"_What do you think we're made of_."

"Flesh, evidently. I'd assumed you'd be tougher, though. And have more of a brain. It's always the males who're taking lead, right?"

"Zephyr, this is _not_ the time for sexism talks or whatever!" Bandana Dee snapped. "Could you at least _help_ us?!"

The puffball seemed very offended at his remark. As payback, she tilted her head, and said, "Help you with what?"

If he had them, Bandana Dee would've gritted his teeth so hard that his muscles might kill themselves. Huffing and jumping away from the predator, he replied hastily, "This _thing_, of course!"

"I don't think I heard that correctly."

"...Please?"

It looked like that was acceptable because Zephyr sauntered over, scooped the onion up with the inside of her parasol and closed it. Amazingly, it didn't tear.

"What was so hard about that?" she inquired, squinting. "Why were you two screaming like headless chickens?"

"You don't know what happened back at the Halloween festival, Zephyr," Mitchizuka quipped.

"Would you like to tell me, then?"

"I'd rather not."

"Then don't even bring it up."

* * *

**1 November 2014**

double update today because there's nothing to do today


	70. Usernames

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy: Usernames**

_Bandana Dee believes that the ones with "cool"-sounding usernames are usually the assholes._

* * *

"What are you _doing_ there?"

Mitchizuka's face was squished against the screen. "_No no no no no no_—"

Midori, beside him at his own computer, laughed.

"Haddle didn't get laptops for you to play games. That money he used to buy it was earned by blood, sweat and tears. Okay, not too sure about the first and the last, but effort was still required."

"_Stupid. Butt_," Mitchizuka seethed, paying no attention to Bandana Dee's words. The waddle dee was in no mood to play around. He seized the waddle doo's eyelashes and yanked them back to get a clear view of the screen. "_Ow_! Bandana, if you wanted a look, I would've given you one!"

Releasing the two dying strands of hair, Bandana Dee cast Mitchizuka an unforgiving expression. "You're playing MMO games."

"Blame _him_," Mitchizuka whined, wildly pointing at the scoroo next to him. "He introduced it."

"I am two seconds away from kicking—"

Grabbing a waddle doo's eyeball to get his attention was not a very good idea, but Midori did so, despite all the red flags that had been seen the last time he did something like that. "Look, look, _look_! It's the asshole."

Bandana Dee didn't like being interrupted, especially when he was delivering an earful to somebody. He peered at the screen carefully, following Midori's stub and the direction it was pointing. It lead to a player who had a text bubble over his head—Bandana Dee couldn't read it.

"What's that he's saying?"

"Oh, you know, just somebody displaying how high their horse is."

"...What's his username?"

"'Awe'—"

"It begins with 'awesome', doesn't it?" The scoroo narrowed his eye. The waddle dee hated being interrupted, but he had no idea how much he did it himself. Midori nodded all the same. "Pft. Those people with apparently 'nice-sounding' names can go rename their crap first."

Midori made a mental note not to inform Bandana Dee his username was something along the lines of "jelly".

Releasing Mitchizuka's eyeball—which caused the waddle doo to scream and run out of the room, presumably to Haddle's clinic, Midori carried on at his laptop and paid no attention when Bandana Dee helped Mitchizuka's character to suicide twice.

* * *

**1 November 2014**

MMO = **M**assively **M**ultiplayer **O**nline

CPU = **C**entral **P**rocessing **U**nit

Had that memorised since I was what, eight?

I'll also point out FFN is the _only_ site I'm known as TechnoDee. I don't even know why I switched from my usual username to this crappy one and then switched back i am so weird


	71. Deciding the Tomatoes

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-One: Deciding the Tomatoes**

_Something only Midori can do._

* * *

"How do you judge tomatoes, Midori?" Bandana Dee asked, glancing at the scoroo in confusion. "Without tasting them. When _you_ buy them at the market."

Midori stared at the waddle dee, staring back and forth at the waddle dee and the tomato he was holding. He furrowed his brow, like he was _genuinely_ thinking. He placed it on the chopping board and whipped out the knife to chop it in half.

Wincing at the squirting tomato bits, Bandana Dee plucked off a sheet of paper towel and wiped his face, watching as Midori jabbed at the tomato with the knife, poking holes accidentally once in a while. He seemed to be extremely focused on his task, turning the tomato over and occasionally cutting it into half once again, pulling out the seeds, carving out the flesh, and stripping the tomato of its skin with the handy knife.

"Hm," was the scoroo's best answer.

"What am I supposed to take that as?"

To Bandana Dee's horror, Midori turned around with an excited beam, flinging the knife over his shoulder. The blade landed somewhere on the sofa, stabbing into the clothed surface.

"I have _no_ idea!"

* * *

**3 November 2014**

It's the Midori intuition. Don't defy it.

School makes me go back and the teachers were all "you MUST come back" and crap. Exams are over and I swear they're only making us come back because they want our money. And you know why it's only _this_ year? New principal.

Really irritating principal. Squeaky clean principal. The one who isn't married. And has tons of pimples and wears those tight dresses that are practically impossible to wear. With super-duper short hair.

Even Bandana Dee should be thankful that Dedede is not squeaky clean and does not have tons of pimples and does not wear tight dresses that are practically impossible to wear. Well, the dress bit is a little unrealistic, but it's possible.


	72. Egg-Cracking

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Two: Egg-Cracking**

_Midori questions about eggs._

* * *

Why Midori was feeling in an ungodly mood to bake cookies, Haddle would never know. He was off his work, he had no reason to say no, and seeing as how Midori would most likely kill their dormitory if the healer didn't agree... yeah, better bake with him.

"Hey, Haddle!"

"_What_." Whisking (more like _slapping_) the mixture, Haddle gave Midori a sideways glance. The scoroo waved a beige oval around—an egg. "I swear you're going to crack that egg over somebody's head. _Put. It. Down_."

"Are you _sure_ this came out from a chicken's ass?"

"How else would it come from? The chicken's throat?" Haddle snarked back.

"But it's _huge_! And _hard_! It's gotta hurt!"

"Of course giving birth and the like hurts. I've never expected it not to."

"Huh." Midori stared and shook the egg. "This one... feels weird."

Haddle blinked at Midori, before narrowing his eyes. "You are _not_ flinging that egg onto the floor—"

The scoroo was already midway in doing so. The egg landed with a _splat_, and Midori screamed. Rather understandably, because what came out wasn't yellow and transparent gooey substance, but red. Liquid.

"It's _blood it's blood it's blood_!"

"Hm. Guess they were halfway through—"

"Don't just _explain _it, _clean it up_! So much red, so much red, so much—"

Haddle whapped Midori on the head before cleaning it up.

* * *

**4 November 2014**

That red splotchy stuff happens rarely.

I'll be creating a Twitter to post random facts of the kids here because there are plenty! you know, after the internet stops being an asshole


	73. Give It Up

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Three: Give it Up**

_There is absolutely no way to get Zinnia to act like a normal person._

* * *

Celeste figured, hey, her sister was in a relatively good mood, so talking to her might work. She'd tried it many other times, and they all resulted in failure. Didn't hurt to keep trying, she supposed...

"Sis, could I talk with you for a moment?" she asked while Zinnia poked at the dolls, like she had many other times. Celeste's voodoo skills had always intrigued everyone. She didn't really like the attention.

"Of course you can, Cel! What's up? Need me to beat somebody up?"

"No, this is another... talk."

The beetle-puffball stared at her younger sister for a moment, before tilting her head like she didn't know what was coming. "A _talk_, you say? Well, sounds jolly to me. What's this talk about?"

"About your abnormality."

"Pft, it's not _abnormal_, it's being _unique_ and having an _identity_."

"Having an identity _is_ important, but having too out-there identities are a bit of a problem," Celeste said slowly, pausing to reconsider her words. Zinnia would never hurt her own family, but she was stubborn as hell. "And you see, you tend to terrify people."

"Hm? What about that?"

Sighing, Celeste finally stopped sewing, and put her unfinished doll down. (Somehow, she always found something to make.) "It's not very good. For... a lot of people. Being scared isn't a good feeling and you shouldn't be the reason for them to be scared. It's not... _healthy_. So, I was just thinking if you would... _play nice_ from now on."_  
_

Tipping her head to the right once again, Zinnia blinked like she didn't understand a single word. Hopefully it wasn't _another_ failure. And hopefully Zinnia would finally get the message that had been trying to get across for god-knows-how-many years. Finally, she tilted her head back to its original position with an inquiring gaze.

And right after that, "..._Play nice_?"

"Yeah. Um, be nice to others. Like me."

Zinnia looked at the carpeted floor, as if she was absorbing the information like a sponge. The situation remained constant for the next few seconds before her head finally snapped up knowingly, a beam on her face.

"Oh, oh, I get what you're saying!" she yelled, throwing a stub around her beloved sister. It was Celeste's turn to be stunned. ...That had _worked_?

"So... you're going to be nice from now on?"

"Well, well, _well_," Zinnia trilled off, "you see, I know what you're saying! If you're nice to somebody enough, then they'll have to owe you! Tons! Then you can take advantage if 'em and even ask them if I can skewer 'em! That's right!"

Nope, it hadn't worked in the slightest.

"Of course, you're only gonna have to be nice to the ones you _want_ to skewer, right?" She momentarily curled her lip. "'Course, if they're pissy, then I'll have no hesitation to skewer them _beforehand_!"_  
_

Shaking her head with an audible sigh, Celeste returned to her doll-making.

* * *

**6 November 2014**

Good news for me: I got Super Dangan Ronpa 2 yesterday.

Bad news for you: Since I got a game yesterday, I probably won't bother with writing until I finish the game.


	74. Awful Results

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Four: Awful Results**

_Celeste reminds herself to shut up._

* * *

Coincidentally, they bumped into R. Bonkers the next hour. Also known as Zinnia's favourite victim.

The immediate greeting was a scowl from Zinnia. As usual, the beetle-puffball had no sort of liking to the bonkers—he "didn't look fun to poke" and was "an asshole". Therefore, she curled her lip and opened her mouth.

"Hey, ass—"

"Sis, we had a talk about this just now!" Celeste reminded a little abruptly for someone like her. She took a step back immediately after, puzzled at herself and waiting for Zinnia's reaction.

Inhaling in rather sharply, Zinnia didn't continue talking for a moment. "...Hello," she said grudgingly. She held eye contact but it was the most _terrifying_ eye contact R. Bonkers probably wished to not have it at all.

Well... it was working, somewhat. All it took now... it was up to R. Bonkers. Zinnia would never hesitate to beat anybody who was rude to her or her relatives down, no matter who they were. (Unless it was unintentional. Maybe that would be a different story.) Celeste held her breath and didn't let go of it—words were something she could not manipulate through a doll, unfortunately.

The bonkers' expression was... well, it was certainly one _puzzled_ expression. Understandable, for such a situation. Zinnia's usual greeting would be a long string of vulgarities or a simple punch if she wasn't feeling that good. Being greeted nicely was, put simply, a miracle. R. Bonkers' expression was the sort that Celeste would usually find somewhat humourous... but not then.

If Celeste was holding her breath for a few seconds, it felt like weeks. It was the first time she had ever tried something like that. Yes, she had given Zinnia plenty of other talks, but they all failed. Zinnia only _now_ thought of... "blackmailing" them or something. Whatever it was, if R. Bonkers' said one stupid thing, her plan would collapse into tiny smithereens.

Finally, there was a reaction.

He laughed.

"_Ha_! This crazy, batshit girl is suddenly being so _nice_! Whass _up_ with ya?!"

Hm... if Celeste had to describe her plan, she'd say it was a glass vase on a small square table. One light touch would be able to push it down and break it. The reply was more than a light touch—it was a _hard shove_, and sent the vase dropping into pieces and scattering them everywhere, and cutting into the feet of those who walked on it._  
_

"Oh _really_, asshole?! Then... how about I stab you today? Huh? Since you escaped the other few days, then I won't let you escape today!" Zinnia was hiding her malice under a very Zephyr-style smile. She had balled her fists and hid them behind herself, which was likely the reason R. Bonkers didn't see the next move coming.

The bell-puffball only prayed that R. Bonkers wouldn't start _dancing_ on the fallen, scattered shards.

Alas, he did.

"Like ya _can_!"_  
_

Zinnia tilted her head and glanced at Celeste. "...Cel, I think you're gonna have to be wrong on this one, you know? I mean, no offence to you."

R. Bonkers ended up at Haddle's clinic with three stab wounds. None fatal.

* * *

**9 November 2014**

Dropping in to say my FFN account is prone to being hijacked by a certain annoying friend so don't trust whatever the avatar is. Or whatever my profile might say. You know, for the next two days.

but I promised her if she touched the stories I'd wring her pretty little neck so they should be fine.


	75. Cooking

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Five: Cooking**

_Zinnia actually makes a rather good chef if she's cooking it properly._

* * *

"How long more do I have to put up with this?" Mitchizuka muttered aloud to himself. Steering clear of Zinnia when she was hunting you down was literally impossible, and even harder if she had the strong intent to teach them something unfavourable.

"Just a little while," Bandana Dee whispered back. He sounded rather unsure himself and was probably struggling with himself to stay calm.

Zinnia analysed them with a critical eye before folding her arms. "...So, I've been hearing that you don't know how to cook," she said rather threateningly, like they had done something _terrible_. Which they hadn't. They hadn't murdered anyone before, _she_ had.

The kitchen was thankfully clean and even more thankfully devoid of any corpses. According to Zinnia, Celeste put in extra caution while cleaning up the kitchen after hearing Zinnia was going to teach them a _huge_ lesson and the bell-puffball couldn't be around there to supervise. Zinnia had placed herself on a stool behind a gigantic pot. Its contents were bubbling—it was probably some sort of stew.

From what Bandana Dee could remember, they were chloroformed and when they woke up they had been tied to a chair. Glorious. If he didn't know the puffball any better, he'd say they were being _kidnapped_.

(At that point, he still hadn't realised his spear was missing.)

Clearing her throat, Zinnia placed both stubs on each side of the pot, completely ignoring the fact that that was _extremely_ dangerous. "Okay, kids. Let's start with the basics. Could anybody tell me what the secret ingredient is?" she asked with the tone of a teacher. A very threatening teacher.

"Um... love?" Mitchizuka offered lamely. That was always what they said in the kiddy cooking shows, right?

"Well, you can get _half_ a point for that! Do you have any other _better_ guesses?"

Bandana Dee chose to stay very silent. Probably a good idea.

"Well, eh, I'm not gonna wait for your reply. The secret ingredient is... the _love for killing_!"

It _was_ a good idea. Bandana Dee considered biting his tongue if it got too nonsensical. (Yes, he _had_ one. No arguments.)

"So... if it had to take a physical form... _it'd have to be poison, wouldn't it_?"

Bandana Dee silently wondered if he left his will back at his dormitory—or maybe she was just going to teach them how to mass-murder by poisoning food? That was a skill he hadn't been thinking of picking up, but perhaps it would have to prove useful. Maybe.

* * *

**12 November 2014**

retardedly long author's note beware. But for general important stuff I **won't be able to update on 15 Nov** (not too sure about the 14 though) and I'll **be away from 26 Nov to 1 Dec**. leaving for some stupid thing against my will _disgusting_

I'm using a keyboard I'm rather unfamiliar with so if you see any weird mistakes _make sure to tell me_.

This is the last of Zinnia/Celeste we'll have for a while. Zinnia is probably the easiest and funnest character to write, though. She just comes so naturally.

I actually finished SDR2 a few days ago but then Tumblr went haywire on me so I had to get a new one and for some weird reason I felt the urge to refill it with reblogs so that's exactly what I did.

November's probably the shittiest month of the year for me aaaannnd the Christmas tree is _already_ up.

The Christmas tree isn't making me feel good this year.


	76. Glitches

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Six: Glitches  
**

_He says._

* * *

"Bandana Dee, helllppp!"

"No. I'm sick of you guys and your crap so _I'm not gonna_ _help_."

Completely ignoring Bandana Dee's words, Mitchizuka thrust his phone towards the waddle dee. "My phone's glitching," he whined, turning it on and shoving the lit screen in Bandana Dee's face.

"Uh. Mitchizuka, that's a settings screen."

"What's that?"

"I thought you enjoyed phones and explored every nook and cranny of them."

"I _do_, but... _what the heck is this_?!"

* * *

**14 November 2014**

My mum does this to me. _Every time_. I don't know how she doesn't know what "settings" are.

And HOLY SHIIIIIt THE NEW CHARACTER IN ORAS IS CALLED _ZINNIA_


	77. Conversation-Dealing

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Seven: Conversation-Dealing  
**

_Peap's better than Minura at talking, at least.  
_

* * *

"Peap, could you make me a cup of tea?"

"There _is_ no tea left, Zephyr—"

"I know. That's why I told you to _make_ me some."

Unhappy with her logic, Peap sullenly made his way to his kitchen. Zephyr and Peap had separate rooms and it was very often that Zephyr crashed his dormitory rather than vice versa. Only because one of Peap's roommates had a job at the tea shop and whatever leftovers were given to him, which meant an endless supply of tea leaves. Tea was also known as "Zephyr bait". Thus.

(Peap was trailing after Zephyr like a lost puppy out of his own free will. They had the exact same schedule and Zephyr could always find something to do while Peap struggled to find something to do. Following her cured his problem of boredom, even if he was pushed around to do simple things.)

"Do you think R. Bonkers has a brain?" Peap wondered aloud. He had randomly voiced his thoughts just to make a conversation. It felt kinda creepy without one.

"Hm?"

"I mean... do you think R. Bonkers has any sense of intelligence?"

Zephyr adopted a very unamused look for a split second before regaining her signature smile and gave a laugh. "'R. Bonkers'? May I know who that might be, again? The name is not familiar. If it's one of your... _friends_, then fill me in on him. Or her."

That was also known as Zephyr's way of saying "I don't like talking about that shit. Now let's talk about something else." Quite practical, Peap decided, since talking about R. Bonkers would leave nothing but an annoyed Zephyr, and annoyed Zephyrs were not the best Zephyrs there were.

"Um, never mind," he quickly dismissed. "Then... what do you think about Bandana Dee?"

"...Bandana Dee? He's a waddle dee, isn't he? 'Leader of all waddle dees'?" Describing things to the bare minimum was also a sign she was not interested in the topic. Just less than the first example.

"Well—Well, yeah." Peap pondered on the next subject for a moment before saying, "What do you do to the people who tick you off? Like... um, revenge, they say?"

She gave a wide smile. A very wide happy smile. "It's a very interesting story, really. I have about a hundred ways—which one would you like to hear first?"

Peap decided he picked the wrong topic.

* * *

**18 November 2014**

After admittedly slacking off for a while (and tampering with the ugly Tumblr code yuck yuck y_uc_k) GUESS WHO'S BACK IN BUSINESS.

Not me.

Basically, I wouldn't have written this today if I wasn't successful at my (terribly awful) coding, and I was gonna write this in the afternoon but I spent the time that I was supposed to write yelling at my neighbour's dog because they were barking like madmen. Dogs who bark like madmen are not good dogs. They are dogs from _hell_.

I also got Yoshi's New Island today. Yes. One game piling after another. Yoshi is the best freaking Mario character and if you try to convince me otherwise I will send uh who _will_ I send after you? Zinnia?


	78. One Way to Shorten Your Life

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Eight: One Way to Shorten Your Life  
**

_Cookies are love, cookies are life. Maybe?_

* * *

"So, what's the death rate today?" Bandana Dee asked timidly, fidgeting as he watched Zinnia hum and stir the mix thoroughly. Surprisingly, the bowl didn't crack and stayed perfectly intact.

Celeste blinked up at the waddle dee. "...Nobody today," she replied after a moment of thinking.

"I've been a good girl and I've been productive," Zinnia added on casually, sprinkling in some chocolate bits, "and I've been baking cookies."

"For me?!"

"Of course not, Mitch Bitch!" Mitchizuka cringed at his new nickname. "Whoops. Sorry. Not gonna use that anymore. Got it. Right." Zinnia cleared her throat. "Cookies are for me and Old Geezer. Old Geezer's always whining about the lack of food."

"Can she cook safely?" Bandana Dee asked Celeste in a hushed tone.

Another moment of pondering. "...I guess so."

The fact remained the truth until R. Bonkers decided he was going to be an idiot and had a fight with another bonkers in the hallway right next to Zinnia's dormitory. Needless to say, he smashed right through the wall and into the bowl of the mixture Zinnia had been rather peacefully mixing.

Bandana Dee swiftly backpedaled and ushered Mitchizuka to join him. Celeste wordlessly followed them.

"You lied, Celeste. You said it was going to be safe," Bandana Dee muttered bitterly.

The bell-puffball only shrugged. "Sorry," was all she said, like she'd rehearsed it a thousand times.

* * *

**3 December 2014**

Well kids it's December and I've been admittedly slacking off. I was legit gone for six days though.

I said no Zinnia in a while but I was running low on ideas and when TechnoDee runs low on ideas you get Zinnia. Bam.

I dunno when I'll stick back to the normal schedule. December makes me feel lazy. (Then again every month does. December even more so?)


	79. Paying a Visit

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Seventy-Nine: Paying a Visit**

_Kirby's made of natural kindness._

* * *

"Which way is to the prisons?" Kirby, cloaked in a dark brown, tattered rag, asked while pinching his nose, making him sound funny in both ways, giving off a very humble atmosphere and generally not Kirby-like. He made sure not to tilt his head because he knew that was an action that he often repeated and his disguise would be caught if he did.

The waddle dee fixed him with a stare, puzzled by his attire and voice. It was completely unfamiliar. "Are you a newbie puffball here?"

The reason as to why Kirby got himself to be not-Kirby-like was so that when he talked with the minions they wouldn't get so high-strung—waddle dees were familiar with that action. A rather psychopathic puffball suggested it to him—she had mentioned it was safer for her to talk with minions because she had a notorious reputation for being murderous. The advice she provided was certainly useful, so Kirby cut up a piece of dark brown cloth to fit his size and wrapped himself in it while he walked around the castle and talked to minions.

"...Well, I guess you could say that." A few months wasn't very long for a king. Kirby was still unfamiliar with the colossal castle. He got lost very often, but he didn't bring it up to the minions because he was confident they would vehemently insist on giving him a guide.

"It's not too far from here. See that stairs?" The waddle dee gestured to a worn-out path, an old stairs at the very end of it, made of cracked bricks and railings formed by rotting wood. "Walk down there and you should get there. Be careful while you're walking, though, they have a habit of being very unstable."

Why hadn't they done something about it? Kirby made a mental note to see to it later. After giving a low bow and displaying his gratitude, the pink puffball paced down the rocky, uneven floor towards the stairs, carefully making his way down it. He would grip the railings, but it was clearly decaying and not in the best shape to be gripped.

It was two flights of crumbling stairs before Kirby reached the cells. Unlike the deformed stairs, the floors were tiled with marble and the walls made of smooth stone. Lamps hung from the walls to provide light, the small flames flickering ominously. The entire atmosphere just felt... _eerie_.

Kirby peeked into a cell carefully, only to find himself faced with the back of a prisoner, hunched over as if doing something. It piqued the king's curiosity.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a polite tone, but it still startled the prisoner nonetheless. Kirby tugged the hood over his eyes once again. They would only _scream_ if they knew he was the king.

"N-Nothing! I'm not t-trying to e-escape, I-I swear, so—"

"_Oh my gosh_! Let me have a look at that!"

Completely forgetting to pinch his nose while speaking, Kirby bent forward, kneeling, squinting at the object. He couldn't quite make it out in the darkness, but after a while, he managed to see its general shape, and figured out what the prisoner had been doing. It was circular, with an huge indent in the middle...

"You made a bowl out of a rock?" the pink puffball breathed, amazed with the object and stretching his hands out, motioning for the prisoner to have it passed over. Hesitantly, the prisoner—a rocky—did so. He marvelled at it, turning it over and over. "You've got such brilliant talent and—why were you imprisoned?"

"I—I refused an order, Your Majesty. The—The pre-previous k-king had a rather great _i-influence_ over s-some of the minions a-and one of them d-deemed it worthy to throw me in j-jail when I, um, s-spoke badly of... the previous king... Dedede," the rocky explained nervously. "I—I was thrown in jail while y-you were king, Your M-Majesty, so I-I'm rather surprised you didn't find out about it."

"Is this the only one you made?"

"No, Your Majesty, there are quite a couple o-over there. I—um, made a stone spoon and there was a rather large boulder so I made a t-table, Your Majesty—"

Kirby blinked, pausing in the middle of staring at the masterpieces in awe. His sudden change in expression caused the rocky to lose confidence and ultimately shut up, but the pink puffball just stared at the prisoner oddly.

Another couple of blinks. "You recognise me as the king?"

"Well, yes, they—they let—they let even the prisoners see your face, Your Majesty. And hear what you sound like."

Oh. Whoops. The other prisoners were visibly panicking, and Kirby glanced over all of them for a moment before pulling the cloak over him once again, but didn't bother covering up his voice.

He rolled the bowl back into the cell, and the rocky seemed almost relieved. "Well, sure, I'm the king, but I think some adjustments to the prisoners are due." The prisoners _and_ the cells. They were dinky enough to contain _rocks_.

"Oh—Well—"

"Where is Dedede located?"

"D-Down three halls, Your Majesty. Or... I _think_, I'm not too sure. They don't let me out often."

"Okay." Kirby shuffled the cloak, before moving forward and making sure he didn't step on the rag he was wearing. He pushed open the metal door situated at the end of the hallway of cells, being met with another two rows of them and two guards on duty. They greeted and addressed him as a minion, and Kirby nonchalantly waved back.

Down two more hallways, and Kirby reached the one where Dedede was supposedly being held in. Kirby didn't feel nervous in the slightest, just pondering about earlier—did minions that threw others in anyhow really exist within the castle? He'd have to do something about them... He knew the leader of the waddle dees—Bandana Dee—knew a good number of people who'd excel in being tutors. Maybe he'd talk with them and weed out those unnecessarily rude ones in. (He recalled Bandana Dee saying Haddle needed to be forgiven. The healer had a sharp tongue but a good heart, the waddle dee had said, so Kirby let that one slide.)

The two guards glanced at the cloaked puffball curiously. It was rare to receive visitors in the prisons, so they hesitantly nodded towards Kirby. They seemed almost reluctant to ask him about his identity.

"Are you a minion?"

Ah, maybe he'd tell them who he was so he could speak with Dedede easily. Kirby tugged at the hood with a silly smile. "...Not really."

The guards immediately burst out into apologies ("Your Majesty, we apologise for our rude attitude!" and such) which Kirby ignored, before swinging his head left and right to identify which cell Dedede was in. He shuffled a few paces up, looking rapidly between cells, before sauntering over to the furthest cell in the left row.

"Ah, Dedede, there you are!" Kirby greeted cheerfully, but not too cheerful to the point where it was annoying. (He could pull off such a thing because he was Kirby.)

Dedede flinched at the horribly familiar voice—it was all too familiar because he heard it at every defeat and what made it worse was that the voice never _goaded_ at the defeat, simply _sympathised_. It was practically impossible for anyone else if they were constantly challenged by the same person.

After seconds that felt like weeks, he finally responded, "What do you want?"

"Well, nothing. In the state you are, there's nothing that you could really _give_ me..." Magically, it didn't come off as insulting. "I just thought I should give you some fresh air, since... it's probably hard to jump straight from a king to somebody of little to none worth."

Dedede ignored what would have been an insult and snarled at the pink puffball—but he _did_ think "fresh air" would be good. "Oh, really? Then what would you do with me?"

The change in the former king's personality had a rather big change, Kirby decided. He was actually _using his head_. Previously, he would've just said, "'Fresh air'? Whaddya talkin' about?" or something else shallow. Change was good. Kirby liked comparisons.

The pink puffball spread out his stubs the way somebody would when inviting another in a hug.

"Let's bake a cake!"

* * *

**16 December 2014**

Ah well to make up for the long absence long chapter it is. There isn't an actual reason as to why I had a break. It just happened. So have a Kirby.

I still _don't_ promise regular updates, because December is the month that makes me feel _extremely_ lazy (not gonna lie) and it would be nice to get my other fic off my hands.


	80. Unnatural Stupidity

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty: Unnatural Stupidity  
**

_Bandana Dee doesn't know how somebody can be so hollow-skulled._

* * *

It was one of those usual days where Bandana Dee would drag Mitchizuka along with him to the cafe, and they'd run into Minura, and the bandana-toting waddle dee saw so much fit to drag the other poor, timid waddle dee along as well. It was not particularly pleasant to the two spherical creatures who were being dragged, but once Bandana Dee saw fit in something, he would never see fit in another alternate situation.

What was so rare that day was that they bumped into R. Bonkers along the way, and he was known to be particularly _large_. Sideways. AKA he was blocking Bandana Dee's route to the cafe AKA _he was blocking Bandana Dee's route to heaven_.

"Um, _excuse_ me," Bandana Dee snapped in a particularly insolent tone, "but your fat derriere is kind of _blocking_ my road, so could you move it?"

R. Bonkers' gaze dropped down to the much shorter waddle dee, pulling his mouth back into a snarl. It would've come off as intimidating to most people, but Bandana Dee was used to Haddle's glare. And Haddle's glare had gained the title "The Glare of Glares".

"Whaddya say?"

"I said your _huge_"—Bandana Dee took both stubs and turned them into a big circle in two different directions to emphasise his point—"_ass_ needs to move, because it's blocking my majestic carpeted hallway! That's what I said, so could you move it? Now? I'm getting impatient."

"You say that one more time and I'll be the _casualty_ of your death!" R. Bonkers bit back.

Mitchizuka and Bandana Dee both stared at the bonkers in a very befuddled fashion.

Minura interrupted their confusion by saying, "'Cause'."

Three pairs of eyes blinked down at the abnormally small waddle dee. It was rare for Minura to talk, especially with _R. Bonkers_ around so holy hell, Bandana Dee thought, did he actually talk? Or not? Were his ears deceiving him?

Sighing, Minura continued, "You s-said 'casualty', but you mean '_c-cause_', because 'casualty' means _d-death_ and 'cause' m-means _reason_. It's _b-basic language_. You should've learned t-that w-when you were ten."

Everybody stared for the longest time, and Bandana Dee wasn't sure when R. Bonkers had scooted off, but he did feel Mitchizuka clamber onto his head and duck down to ask nervously in his ear, "What just happened?"

Bandana Dee tried to give his best analysis. "I dunno. All I know is R. Bonkers just got sassed by Minura."

* * *

**22 December 2014**

it is pretty pathetic to be sassed by _Minura_


	81. Taunt

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-One: Taunt  
**

_Friendships clearly don't matter or count in video games.  
_

* * *

While usually calm and composed (emphasis on _usually_), Bandana Dee was actually very easy to goad into doing whatever you wanted. Buying food, cooking meals, taking a break from teaching, cleaning the toilet, and even _playing games_.

Now, note that Mitchizuka was and will forever be a nut for games. A _huge_ nut.

Of course, they'd been friends since god-knows-how-long, and if it was a habit of Bandana Dee's, even a dull person like Mitchizuka would've picked up on it. The waddle doo knew Bandana Dee was particularly fond of hygiene (not as much as Haddle), liked being tidy (but was too lazy to tidy things so everything was messy anyway), and most certainly lied winning arguments.

Carefully, Mitchizuka slunk his way into the living room where Bandana Dee was reclining into a seat, a snoring Midori present in another far away stool. (Mitchizuka briefly wondered how the scoroo didn't drop off the small circular stand, but decided to question it later.) Armed with a rag usually used for cleaning, he silently (or as silent as he could be) jumped onto the top of the seat Bandana Dee was sitting on, gingerly balancing himself, before tipping over and draping the dirty cloth over his friend.

"_Gotcha_!" he crowed triumphantly, and heard the signature, exasperated sigh of Bandana Dee. The waddle dee pulled the offending cloth off of him, unamused glare directed towards Mitchizuka. "What?" the waddle doo prompted, seeming as if he hadn't just dropped something on Bandana Dee's head.

Of course, Bandana Dee, without a doubt, saw through Mitchizuka's pretense of unadulterated, childish innocence. "_What do you want._"

Mitchizuka slid the CD case from under the seat (yes, he had all these hiding places for everything and anything) before bringing it up and waving it in Bandana Dee's face. "Play this with me!"

It took a second of analysis for Bandana Dee to recognise it as some sort of racing game. He scoffed. "No."

"_Why_?"

"It's brainless. There's no need for me to accompany you in playing this. Play it on your own." Bandana Dee looked back down at the book he had been reading, which made Mitchizuka squint at the pages—the font was _tiny_.

Huffing, Mitchizuka retracted his arm. Not in defeat, though. After many years of experience, he already knew Bandana Dee's reaction. He was completely expecting the rejection of his request. He had a pretty good comeback that would _definitely_ work, because it always managed to piss Bandana Dee off and when you piss Bandana Dee off, you win.

Well, whether you won or lost really depended on your situation.

Mitchizuka clambered down from the top of the seat, but the waddle dee didn't budge. (Neither did the sleeping Midori in the corner.) Mitchizuka paused for one, two, three seconds, before imitating Bandana Dee's exasperated sigh and trotting to the front of the television, plucking out the disc and slipping it into the slot with ease. Just like always, Bandana Dee didn't make any further remarks about gaming, and Mitchizuka took it as the okay-sign to pull his trick.

"I'm betting you don't wanna play 'cause you're chicken." A very common taunt, but this wasn't able to annoy Bandana Dee, Mitchizuka knew.

Bandana Dee flicked his gaze towards Mitchizuka and fixed it into a glare. "I'm not chicken. And it's not going to work."

"It wasn't a trick." Okay, fine, that was a lie. "But honestly, why _don't _you want to play?"

"I'm not chicken, and I already said that it's brainless. There's no point to it," Bandana Dee replied, looking miffed.

"There _is_. It makes you use logic. And reaction time—and all that funny stuff."

"Yeah. Good for you. Improve your logic."

"Well, _sure_ I'll improve my logic, then it'll be better than yours soon, right?"

"_No_."

* * *

**27 December 2014**

You can so tell I was working super hard in the first few bits then my motivation just dropped and shit went downhill.


	82. Red Packet

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Two: Red Packet  
**

_Bandana Dee remembers to mother them for New Year.  
_

* * *

Kirby had given the waddle dees an entire day off, which knocked off most of the minions from the working list, but Kirby could deal simply because he was Kirby. It was the only day off, though, so Bandana Dee got up at some ungodly hour in the morning and went down to the twenty-four-hour convenience store. He nearly fell down twice on his journey there, but he still remained quite safe.

The waddle dee by the counter—whom Bandana Dee knew always ran the night shift—blinked up from his laptop, and at Bandana Dee, seemingly surprised that there was a customer at such an early hour. Nevertheless, he greeted the only other waddle dee in the shop, and returned to his laptop.

Bandana Dee plucked off a stack of red envelopes from the shelf and dropped it carefully onto the counter, yawning tiredly as he pulled out his wallet from under his bandana. The cashier waited for him to pluck the notes out patiently and when he was done paying, the cashier grabbed a candy from his jar and placed it in Bandana Dee's empty stub.

"Looks like you'll need this, kid," the waddle dee at the counter advised. It took Bandana Dee a few seconds to register it, but when he did, he nodded and stuffed it into his mouth, thanked the cashier, and left the convenience store.

The trip back was slightly easier, but he was mostly concentrating on chewing the candy in his mouth. It tasted nice. He reminded himself to return to that shop in the night and ask the night shift cashier about the candy.

Back at the dormitory, Bandana Dee silently pulled out an unknown amount of cash and neatly slipped it into the red-coloured packets before slipping the three envelopes under his bed and taking his chance to sleep.

He was woken up by being stomped on, as predicted.

"Ban! Dana! Dee!" Midori chirped, laughing so joyously it sounded creepy. Bandana Dee, in response, rolled over to face the wall. "Hey, wake up! _Mitchizuka cooked breakfast!_"

It was probably poison, anyway.

"It's the nicest, bestest, deliciousest"—Midori paused to consider whether his words existed or not—"porridge I've _ever_ had! So _wakey-wakey, Mister Sleepy, or I'm gonna kick you so you won't be so groggy!_"

No response.

Puffing his cheeks indignantly, Midori swung his foot backwards and—_BAM!_—hit Bandana Dee square in the back, causing the waddle dee to shriek as he crashed face-first into the wall. Almost as if welcoming him, the bed moved slightly away from the wall and the waddle dee fell through the gap. And got stuck.

"_Midori! You get me out of this shithole, or I'll_—"

"Okay!" the scoroo laughed, not a hint of remorse detected. His tail curled underneath him to grip the bottom ledge of the bed frame and he pulled, and the bed moved accordingly. Hearing the telltale sign—_splat_—Midori got off the bed and mercifully pulled Bandana Dee out from under the bed.

"How rude," Bandana Dee began saying, and anybody who knew him well would know that a lecture would follow. "And here I was thinking that I would give you the same amount of money as everyone else—I guess I'll just have to _deduct_ some—"

Immediately, Midori choked Bandana Dee by gripping his neck. He wasn't _aiming_ to suffocate the waddle dee or crush his windpipe, but anywhere would work. "_What_! I helped you out from the gap between your damn bed and the wall! Show some gratitude!"

Bandana Dee flailed and managed to kick the scoroo hard enough to release his grip on the waddle dee's throat. "_You were the one who got me in there in the first place!_"

They argued for another twenty minutes the Mitchizuka's porridge wasn't the nicest and bestest and deliciousest porridge anymore.

* * *

**4 January 2014**

_Bestest_ and _deliciousest_ are not real words do not use them for serious writing. Please.

I also don't know if these red packet stuff is just a thing for Chinese/Asians or whatever but remember whenever in doubt _search the internet_


	83. Class Tragedies

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Three: Class Tragedies  
**

_Whoever actually paid attention in Bandana Dee's classes?_

* * *

It was a fresh new year and Bandana Dee decided the best way to kick it off (after the money-giving) was to give them a geography class.

"All right. So, Cookie Country is _here_." The waddle dee pointed to the topmost edge of Pop Star, circling it to press more emphasis into his words. "The Castle is located closest to Cookie Country, and that's why a lot of our plantations are there—oh, it's a fantastic place to grow crops, the soil there is the _best_—"

And as such, Mitchizuka was at his hundred-percent. He was alert, active, and looking everywhere except for the map and Bandana Dee's face, listening out for the slightest of sounds and completely ignoring his best friend's words. Opposite him, Midori was not much better, only he seemed to be blankly staring down at the sheet in front of him, like he was confused by the words printed on it in bold black.

And Haddle was, well, gone. He ditched. You know.

"So Midori, where is White Wafers?"

Startled upright, Midori's gaze shot towards the map and the words jumped out of his invisible mouth—"_There_."—and his tail sprung over his head to stab into the map. Mitchizuka got a shock himself and nearly shook off the seat.

"_Don't stab the paper!_" Bandana Dee screeched, and Mitchizuka caught Zephyr casting him a dirty look. The waddle dee tore the spiked tail away from Midori (which only caused a larger tear) and lovingly smoothed out the creased and torn bits. "And it took me so long to find an A3-sized paper... and how much I had to pay to _laminate_ it..."

"Can we move on from geography, then?" Mitchizuka asked brightly, shuffling to get his back flat against the backrest of his chair. "History? _Please_? Can we learn about the Great Bronto Burt War?"

"No," Bandana Dee replied brusquely, and the waddle doo immediately deflated and slid down his chair. Sighing, the bandana-toting waddle dee folded his torn map of Pop Star neatly, slipping it into his bag. "We'll carry on to the map of Halcandra."

Oh. Oh. _Oh no_. Mitchizuka was so sick of maps. He'd stared at a map of the castle for eight years of his life and he dearly regretted those moments. (Why did he choose to even _try_?) No more maps. No. More.

Midori probably had similar feelings, but he couldn't confirm it. No matter what the situation was, Mitchizuka eyed Bandana Dee's movements carefully; the waddle dee reached a hand into the bag. All right. There his plan was: zap it the moment the hand rose into the air. Go. He only had _one shot_ at this. He charged his eye, pretending his head wasn't trembling from all the stored-up energy.

Bandana Dee pulled his hand out, and gave a light frown. Mitchizuka nearly pissed on himself when he realised his stub was empty. Where was it? Where was that sheet from hell?

"I didn't bring it," the wannabe-teacher finally said, and Mitchizuka released the wave beam he'd been holding in. It took Bandana Dee a yelp and Midori to swing his tail forward once again to bounce it back in Mitchizuka's face, where he successfully absorbed it back in. (He'd learned it some time ago. He never learned how to control a wave beam that he had stored up to the max, though.)

They all had a nice, long stare at the waddle doo before Midori cleared his throat.

"So... _friend_"—he put a disgusting amount of sarcasm into that word—"what was that stunt about?"

"Oh, you know that curry chicken we had earlier? I think it made me a little, um, you know—_hyper_. So—so, so, so! I try to channel the energy somewhere else, and it goes to my eye! Because—uh, actually, I don't know. It just—It just _did_. 'Cause. You know, it's my _eye_. My _eye's_ my _eye_. And it's like—really, really good at—at storing energy, so all the stuff went to my eye! And when things go to my eye... it, uh, you know... it _charges up_. Y'know what happens when a waddle doo's eye charges up, right? Yeah! It charges up real good and then all the charging-up leads to wave beams! Wave beams are super awesome and great and kickass but they're _really_ hard to control, even for me, so—so... so, um! It just... kinda, well, _fired_!"

Nobody spoke or moved.

"...I was talking too much, right?" Mitchizuka prompted anxiously, playing with his stubs and avoiding Bandana Dee's unamused gaze.

Midori meaningfully smirked (as much as he could). "You were a bit too nervous, friend."

* * *

**13 January 2015**

I have a buncha weird classmates this year

If you read Mitchizuka's extremely long text I am amazed because I myself did not even read it all that typing was strictly autopilot.


	84. Green Fingers

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Four: Green Fingers  
**

_Zinnia is really talented with everything but the problem is she'd rather spend her time scaring and killing things rather than being productive.  
_

* * *

"Oh, so you're the _ghost_ that hangs off Banana Dee," Zinnia concluded, pulling her horn back while looking at Jillie with a scornful gaze. "Huh. Okay."

Jillie had solidified herself and floated around the castle and had accidentally bumped into Zinnia, and the crazy puffball happened to be in a shitty mood and instantly pointed the Beetle Horn of Death at the ghost. Celeste was with her one hell of a mad sister and patiently explained who Jillie was and five reasons not to kill her, which Zinnia grudgingly accepted as the truth.

It still didn't reverse Jillie's terror, though. Since when did Bandana Dee have such psychopathic friends? Was she even his friend? She felt like floating backwards into what was probably a wall and back to, she didn't know, Giggle's yard or whatever.

"What are you doing outside of my door, then?" Zinnia continued to bark, and Celeste let out a very audible sigh and Jillie blinked at the puffball, then at the door, and the small, potted plants hanging on the spaces next to the door.

_"Your door? So these are artificial plants?"_ The murderous puffball didn't seem to be able to grow plants well, if she was so dented in the head.

"These are _not_ artificial plants. They're even more real than _you_ are. A lot prettier, too, and more colourful and a lot _nicer_ and a lot more _polite_ than your rude ass is, to barge into me _in front of my own door_—"

_"They're real?"_ the ghost cut Zinnia off, seemingly enthusiastic then. _"They're very well-treated! They're a lot better than Bandana Dee's plants, you know! They die within a month or so but these plants look really old, but really healthy and young at the same time! It's like I'm looking at the true nature of purit_—_"_

"Can we get in now?" Celeste finally piped up. "It's very nice having known you, Miss Jillie, but we're both really tired from our previous duties and you're kind of blocking the doorway."

The ghost stumbled backwards. _"Oh, wait, is it you who grows these plants?"_

Lowering her eyelids to express she clearly wasn't happy with the question, Celeste replied, "They're my sister's." And then she added, "Now, run along now, I don't really want to stand outside here any longer."

Jillie wasn't sure if what scared her away was the innocent menacing tone to her voice or the fact that she was half-finished with a ghost-like stuff toy that greatly resembled her, but she did awkwardly float away right after the words left Celeste's mouth.

* * *

**17 January 2015**

Zinnia can actually take care of plants and Celeste can be unintentionally scary

I'm shifting all the stuff away from my profile because looking back at it it looks disgusting and gross and _ewww_ and I dunno where I'll move it

(got so bored at the last few bits I was gonna add some more stuff but on second thoughts lazy)


	85. Similarities

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Five: Similarities  
**

_In which Midori and R. Bonkers do not argue. That much.  
_

* * *

So it started off with an on-duty Midori and a sick duty friend.

And a R. Bonkers for a replacement for that sick duty friend.

There were six of them in the patrol, and Midori had decided to stick with mixing with Quap, even though his disorder was a little terrifying at times. Both personalities were okay if you knew how to handle them. The others in the patrol weren't that spectacular; two waddle dees, a bronto burt and a sparky. The two waddle dees were extremely good friends and never broke apart to speak with the others; the bronto burt was a bossy burt, and the sparky was a newbie.

Quap rarely fell sick. Midori was grateful for that because without Quap, the scoroo would be sitting on the floor and peeling away at the new coat of paint layering the walls.

Which came to R. Bonkers.

"We have a _spot_ for each person," Midori instantly instructed, giving R. Bonkers _the look _when he had tried to stick by the wall. "I get the wall, Quap is beside me, Waddle Dee A and B are in the center and the sparky is against the other wall."

"So I'm next to _ya_?"

"Oh, you can swap places with the sparky, y'know."

"I have a _name_," the sparky huffed indignantly, "so please _use it_. And for all the others, too. It's downright _disrespectful_ to call us 'that sparky' or 'Waddle Dee A'—"

Annoyed Midori and Annoyed Random Patrol Sparky combined resulted in an argument, and neither side refused to give in so they started the long trail of insults and objections, and Midori even threw a punch. The group ended up in a circle with Midori and Random Patrol Sparky fighting, the two waddle dees (peacemakers) trying to calm them both down, the bronto burt was on the verge of yelling and R. Bonkers stood there, completely puzzled.

Waddle Dee A managed to calm the both of them down. Somehow. Waddle dees were very peaceful creatures, so Midori wasn't that surprised.

"All right, I know Midori's rude and all but that's not a good reason to argue, and Skrenne, don't argue with a senior." Waddle Dee A cleared his throat. "Is that okay? Can we all just line up again and stare at the wall for the next two hours?"

"He's rude," Random Patrol Sparky that Waddle Dee A had called Skrenne retorted, sounding miffed. "And you shouldn't just excuse him like that, and just because he's a _senior_ doesn't mean he's always right."

Waddle Dee A was devastated his words hadn't impacted Random Patrol Sparky, but shook his head nonetheless.

"No, but—"

"It's just _names_ he forgot," R. Bonkers huffed, sounding equally irritated as Random Patrol Sparky. "Who gives for a buncha useless names?"

"Yes." Midori jumped up to give R. Bonkers a high-five. "_Yes_. He's absolutely correct. I dig. Full marks to him."

For the next two hours, they didn't stand and stare at a wall, but they did have an exasperated Waddle Dee B, a panicked-to-calm-them-down Waddle Dee A, a bronto burt at the side and three arguing buffoons.

* * *

**5 February 2015**

Really badly-written chapter but it's _okay_ it's still better than nothing.

Not-really-new Tumblr account because I decided that all the info jam-packed into the profile was getting gross link in really short profile have fun


	86. Babysitting

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Six: Babysitting**

_Bandana Dee is, frankly, terrified of it._

* * *

"So I need the both of you to go down to the village and take care of the kids while the ceremony's still on," Kirby said, spinning round and round in his chair, eyes directed up at the ceiling, as if he was in thought.

Previously, Bandana Dee had always loathed taking a visit to the king's office. It was always crammed with papers in Dedede's time, and the only things that could be sat on while they held a discussion was a pile of sheets that the dumb penguin was supposed to sign and probably never did, or some important notices that were disregarded with a flick of his wrist. The waddle dee didn't particularly like sitting on piles of sheets.

Kirby shoved all the papers into the recycling bin in a day, and the next day got the office all renovated—the cracking paint on the walls were coated over, the creaking wooden table was replaced, and there were seats. _Seats_. Bandana Dee never thought he'd be so happy to see a seat in his life.

So, he loved taking trips to the king's office. Except for _that_ day, where Kirby bestowed them less-than-pleasant news.

Noticing their lack of reaction, Kirby prompted, "So..?"

Immediately, Bandana Dee cleared his throat. Nope. No way. He was so not babysitting a bunch of kids. He had bad experiences with kids and it just made the colour drain from his face until he was left as white as a brand new sheet of white, _spotless_ paper.

"I'm not really good with children," Bandana Dee replied, taking a casual step backwards. Mitchizuka beside him cast an inquiring gaze. "Mitchi—he can go out to the village by himself, _right_? I'm the—oh, right, I'm the leader of the waddle dees. I have work to do."

"Not today," Kirby instantly rebounded. "I checked your schedule and you're completely free in the afternoon, along with your _good_ friend, which is why I picked the both of you!"

It did not really fuel Bandana Dee's courage when Kirby was saying it with such a cheery tone. If he sounded pissed or angry or bossy, Bandana Dee would be able to return the hits like a rally of badminton, but when Kirby was doing _that_ it was like playing tennis with Kirby except Bandana Dee was holding a _badminton_ racket.

Yeah. Not a good idea.

"I don't want to," Bandana Dee finally sulked, giving up on making any rational excuses. Kirby was a kindhearted creature—maybe he would sympathise with the poor dee. He was betting all his luck on that. If it failed, he was doomed.

Oh man, why did they even need to hold some stupid ceremony that couldn't include the kids? Damn adults. Damn world. _Take your stupid children with you next time._

"I know you've had bad experiences with taking care of children," Kirby started, and Bandana Dee felt a flicker of hope, "but you're actually the only one I can depend on for this task. The others who are free are all very rough and untrustworthy."

"It's still better to pick them," Bandana Dee moped miserably.

"He just said you're _trustworthy_ for this task," Mitchizuka piped up. The waddle doo had been fascinated by a pen for quite some time, and Bandana Dee was wondering when he'd return to Pop Star. "Don't you feel accomplished, Bandana?"

"...Well, yes, but—"

"So you shouldn't disrespect the king and prove his opinion of you being trustworthy right!"

Bandana Dee frowned for two seconds, before stiffly nodding. "I suppose you're right. Fine. I'll go babysit those stupid lumps of shit tomorrow, _but_ I want brownies for it."

Leaning forward and smiling uncertainly, Kirby nodded.

As the two of them left the office, Kirby wondered how much it actually took to persuade Bandana Dee.

* * *

**13 February 2015**

PART ONE OF TWO

happy early valentine's friends

_Yes_ I have a valentine his name is _homework_


	87. Rude Rolling

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Seven: Rude Rolling  
**

_Where Mitchizuka learns to keep his mouth shut instead of trying to change Bandana Dee's mind.  
_

* * *

"If I die, tell Haddle I left my will on the nightstand." Mitchizuka turned around to give Bandana dee a puzzled look. "I trust him more than you with my money."

"No, not that, I was thinking _why_ do you need your will—_you trust him more than me_?! I thought we were _best friends_! This is _treason_! I—"

Bandana Dee cut him off with a yelp as he clumsily sidestepped out of the way from a rolling roly poly. It sent them both crashing—Bandana Dee into the wall and the roly poly into a stack of crates. Mitchizuka dove after the roly poly, swiftly grabbed its foot and yanked it away before the wooden boxes could topple onto the small creature. Having successfully retrieved the roly poly, the waddle doo huffed at Bandana Dee, who was rubbing his head where it had collided with the wall.

"You're so _dumb_, Bandana Dee. You should've caught him instead of endangering him," he chided. "I thought you were more responsible than that! Where's that roly poly? You're gonna _apologise_ to him!"

"Thanks for the concern," Bandana Dee snapped back sarcastically. "Now do you see why I trust Haddle more than you?"

Mitchizuka puffed his cheeks indignantly, folding his arms which alerted Bandana Dee he had very much made a good point which made it hard for the waddle doo to retort. Bandana Dee ceased rubbing the bump on his head—the pain had subsided over the annoyance earlier.

Finally, after a minute or so, Mitchizuka finally thought up of a reply. "This has nothing to do with _trust_. It's what you _should_ do and what you _shouldn't_."

"Nope. You're insane. There's no point in trying to talk to you anymore."

"_What_?! What did kids ever do to you, anyway? Why're you treating them like they're filthy and disgusting?" Mitchizuka demanded, watching the children they were looking after fondly.

"Because they _are_."

"No, they're not! Have you _ever_ heard that nursery rhyme about little kids being made of sugar and spice and everything nice?!"

"_No_. They're _spawns_ of _Satan_."

"Stop being so mean. They never did anything to you."

Bandana Dee was unsure if he was still talking to the blur Mitchizuka, but he refused to let the waddle doo's defence of the brats continue on strong. Scanning over the crowd of little creatures, he singled out that one stupid roly poly and snarled.

At Mitchizuka's disproving glare, the waddle dee stiffened and marched over to grab the roly poly and shove his stub at its cheek. "See _this_ thing? It was _inconsiderate_ enough to roll into _me_. I was having a basic, _civil_ conversation with you, and I was completely _stationary_. It chose _me_ to roll into, which is _extremely_ rude of it, so if _anything_ should be _apologising_, it should be this round ball of _snot_."

Mitchizuka reminded himself that there was absolutely no way that anybody—even Kirby—could change Bandana Dee's opinion.

* * *

**17 February 2015**

Midori is okay with certain (most) types of kids and Haddle flat out avoids them like the plague


	88. Pens

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Eight: Pens  
**

_Midori is a great hoarder.  
_

* * *

Midori was a great hoarder of things, but his new fasscination were pens. Yes, pens. Bandana Dee chided him constantly for collecting pens that he didn't even use and the ink just wasted itself away, but what nothing stopped Midori from his hobbies. Not even the almighty Bandana Dee.

Not that Bandana Dee was almighty, you know. Just saying.

"You're seriouslywasting our money," Haddle had said to Midori once, but that was all the other threats he received. Mitchizuka personally just didn't _care_ on what others did. As long as he was okay, he wasn't gonna give a shit about the others. (Made him seem kind of selfish, but who gave?)

And one day, Bandana Dee found Midori's stash of pens—under his pillow. Naturally, it sent Bandana Dee into a _fit_ and he started yelling and everything.

"There are _twenty-six_ pens, Midori! _Twenty-six_!"

"Okay, so?"

"_You're wasting our money_! You have no idea how hard Haddle and I hace to work to feed all of us!"

"But I'm working, too!"

"Yeah, but Haddle and I are the _major breadwinners_."

Midori crawled towards his pens slowly, and while Bandana Dee was still carefully watchig him, sat down on his collection of pens and made a scoroo-style laughing face.

"Have fun getting them out of under my _butt_!"

* * *

**18 February 2015**

If you must know why there are so many errors, I was typing with my eyes closed because an idiot friend wouldn't believe me when I said I was a touch typist

Also it took 10 minutes to write.

And no, I did not correct any mistakes.

Not looking at the screen disorganises my thoughts, though. Not gonna write like that again. Brr.


	89. Floor-Busting

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Eighty-Nine: Floor-Busting  
**

_Where Haddle gives Midori a mouthful of expletives._

* * *

Midori liked melting floors. Nobody knew if he had a secretive destructive or sadistic nature, or he was just being really, really, _really_ weird, but bottom line was, he liked melting floors.

Haddle did not like having floors melted. At all. Not his floor, not Bandana Dee's floor, not the mailman's floor, not _anybody's_ floor. Melted floors pissed him off so badly you'd think he had some OCD with un-melted floors or he was just being weird too, but no melted floors for him. Anywhere.

Which prompted a very serious conversation when Haddle found a weird hole in the castle yard, and there was only _one _scoroo in the entire castle who could make such a shape.

"Midori," Haddle announced with a flat face like always, "I know you melted the floor."

It interrupted Midori's game of mashing buttons and hoping to win. The scoroo brought his eye to meet the particularly frustrated Haddle at breakneck speed.

"Oh my gosh _you saw the hole in Hallway One-oh-One_?"

"No, _the yard_! How many times did you melt floors?!"

Blindly, Midori practically flung the controller at the ground. It didn't break, but it did send the screen to form the words "GAME OVER" on it, and while it didn't even make Midori blink at it that moment, he'd be screaming and wailing over it later. Haddle made a mental note to quietly unplug it later to save his ears from some possible ear-raping noises.

"Just those two! Really!"

"What about the canteen?"

"_How many holes did you see?!_"

"So you _did_ melt one more floor—"

Haddle was about to reply when a beige blur stomped down on Midori's head, squashing the offender flat onto the ground. Bandana Dee's form reigned over the fallen Midori and he made a very displeased noise which actually sounded like a tiger growling, except Haddle could pick out some phlegm getting caught in his voice.

"It's three. In the morning. _Why_ are you still up. We start duty in _two_ hours."

Indignantly, the healer folded his arms. "It's a serious political issue that, if Midori doesn't stop, will end up in a big problem."

"Go to sleep."

"_No_."

And they proceeded to throw verbal bombs at each other and the both of them didn't get any more sleep for the next day, though the scoroo under Bandana Dee's weight was fast asleep.

* * *

**26 February 2015**

So after 2 new favourites and 1 follow I decided it was a sign from God I needed to not neglect my stories.

Yep it takes _that_ much to motivate me.


	90. Trains

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety: Trains**

_Bandana Dee pays a visit to his mother again._

* * *

"Did you say bye to Haddle?"

"_Yes_."

"Did you say bye to Midori?"

"_Yes_."

"Good." Mitchizuka made a sulky face, but the questionnaire was already over and Bandana Dee was stepping into the train. The train was the same as it was a the last time they'd been there, except slightly cleaner. The trains weren't that filthy to begin with, anyway.

Personally, Mitchizuka didn't see the need to make a fuss over saying their byes or whatever, since they'd only be gone for a week. Bandana Dee decided to throw a hissy fit over it, and they extended the departure by twenty minutes because of Bandana Dee making sure he'd said bye to _everyone_. Jillie, Celeste, Minura, or Spaggy, or the random textile shop owner Bandana Dee knew pretty well. (Mitchizuka noted Bandana Dee avoided R. Bonkers and Zinnia. He could understand.)

Halfway through the train carriage, Bandana Dee decided to stop and turn around to give Mitchizuka the evil eyes. "Did you say bye to Giggle?"

"_Yes_. I said bye to everyone. I'm pretty sure I did. Am I going to die if I don't?"

"Well, you never know," Bandana Dee started, and that signalled a rant, and the passengers behind them were hissing venomously already, "something dangerous could happen in the village and you don't know if you should've or shouldn't have said bye, so you might as well just say bye, as a just-in-case thing, because what if some—"

"Um, can we move now? There are people waiting there." Mitchizuka gestured backwards, and Bandana Dee closed his mouth, stiffly nodded, and then marched down the aisle.

* * *

**28 February 2015**

Buildup for next chapter because throwing the actual plot at y'all is kinda unfair.

Update on the 3ds bottom screen: _it is now completely monochrome_

What did I even do to make it iffy like that


	91. Toy Box

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-One: Toy Box  
**

_Bandana Dee stares and judges his own room.  
_

* * *

No matter how many times Bandana Dee visited his own house, he always couldn't get over his own bedroom. His family had never moved since he was born, so he was raised in the tiny apartment until he left for the castle, and he still came back to it every year. It was small, not the cleanest, but it felt homey and comfortable and that was pretty much all that mattered.

What always fascinated him was his room, though.

Likewise, his room was the room he had grown up in since he was a tiny infant that couldn't even walk. Bandana Dee always sat in his room and looked around for a moment, and it always looked the same to him. Drawings on the wall, toys strewn all over, a chalkboard with a messy drawing of an apple... While it was messy, he found he couldn't bring himself to clear it up. So he didn't.

After his mother had bothered him enough about details and they had a good conversation going back and forth, Bandana Dee took it upon himself to sleep early. A difficult chore, but he was set for helping his mother work the day after, and being sleep-deprived would certainly not help.

He took a shower. The bathroom didn't have drawings on the walls or toys strewn all over, and it certainly was never the same (it seemed to change every time he came back), but he appreciated change, too. Change was good.

Then he awkwardly squatted in the middle of the mess of toys and proceeded to stone for the next two minutes.

He was interrupted by his mother who was concerned for her son's well-being because he was being really _weird_.

"You're not going to clear that up? I thought you would like to clear that up by yourself. You're usually very neat, I hear, from your friends. You've never cleared it up before."

Bandana Dee shook his head slightly, leaning forward to tap the train on the tracks. It only moved slightly, but that was enough to intrigue him. His mother then started to fear he hadn't played enough as a kid and "oh no what if I'm a terrible mother" but ultimately left the room when Bandana Dee wasn't talking. At all. Which was also very rude and he shouldn't ever do that.

Suddenly, Bandana Dee lurched over the train tracks into a pile of messy toys, pulling out a yellow soft furry thing that he soon identified as a toy duck. ...Well, he wouldn't really call it _yellow_, since its colour had faded. Faded yellow, then, he decided.

"You weren't here the last time," Bandana Dee said to the duck, who didn't reply, but he dusted it off and put it on the top of the pile it used to be in anyway.

* * *

**3 March 2015**

feat. Bandana Dee being weird

oh my GOSH have you tried ctrl f on your computer when you're editing a doc on FFN it's so cool but it's kind of not but it kind of is when did this happen?


	92. Village Plans

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Two: Village Plans  
**

_When Midori is left alone, he makes things happen._

* * *

Contrary to what most liked, Midori was not interested in returning to his family. No, he didn't hate them or anything dramatic like that, but life over there was so _boring_, connections between each creature were all so thin, so he felt more worth in staying in the castle rather than returning to a place he had lived the first half of his life in.

_"You're not packing? Your batch is tomorrow,"_ Jillie said, watching Midori skip over to Giggle and open his large jaws for no apparent reason. _"Everyone likes seeing their family."_

"Exclude me from 'everyone'," Midori replied in his casual singsong voice and smashed the dragon's jaws back together. As hard as the action might have been seen as, Giggle remained unfazed and didn't flinch.

_"Why don't you like your family?"_

"I do! But I like it better here."

_"Isn't that sweet of you?"_

Midori puffed his cheeks. "Only because it'd be troublesome fitting all my pens in my luggage." Then he paused for a moment, eye glazing over. "Wait, do they have scoroo-themed pens back there? Maybe I _should_ go back? But I'm too lazy..."

It took Midori a while to recover from his near-self-destruction of conflicting emotions but he eventually decided he'd linger in the castle. The scoroos back at the forest probably missed him as much as they missed all the others who went to find jobs, and how they felt about his absence didn't really concern him (yes he was an unthoughtful little shit, but the unthoughtful-shittiness made him Midori).

_"It's still going to be a break for you. What are you going to do?"_ the ghost continued, seemingly worried. Well, she was worried. For their dormitory, anyway. Bored Midoris were not the safest Midoris there were around.

Midori blinked. Stared. He turned his head mechanically towards the clock, which read two o'clock, which means he had a lot more free time to spend. Without much thought, he started untethering Giggle, which only horrified Jillie.

_"What are you **doing**__?"_ she demanded, although she did nothing to stop him.

Jumping on Giggle's back, Midori dug his heels into the dragon's flanks and punched a stub into the air. "To the village!"

* * *

**7 March 2015**

I might give more background on the scoroos sometime.

Although I probably said that last year


	93. Goose Chase

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Three: Goose Chase  
**

_Midori mercilessly runs around the village.  
_

* * *

_"What are you going to do in the village?"_ Jillie asked, watching Midori hop off Giggle and gently coax the dragon into disguising himself as a horse. And after that, he poked at Giggle's mane, staring at it, puzzled.

"Why does it feel like a horse's mane and not scales?" Midori asked, completely ignoring Jillie's question.

Giggle snorted. _"He's a shape-shifter,"_ Jillie replied. _"But he can really cast illusions, too, and it requires less effort, so_—_hey, where are you going?" _

The scoroo had run off to some alley, dragging Giggle along with him. He had heard something—he didn't know what—and went to look for the source of the sound. Peeking his head beyond the corner, he found nothing, and tapped his chin with a frown. He was confident he had heard something, and it wasn't a sound he usually heard.

Instead of walking further into the alley, he stood there and waited while Jillie caught up with him and promptly began giving him a mouthful, which he didn't really listen to. Giggle the dapple grey horse snorted and stamped his hoof in irritation, and Midori's face immediately jerked forward again and he tugged on the reins, running forward again. And leaving Jillie to catch up with them. Again.

This time, when Jillie caught up with them, she only saw Midori triumphantly holding up a heavily-injured cat, and she nearly choked on her spit.

_"That cat_—_oh my goodness!"_ she exclaimed, watching in horror as Midori gleefully tossed it around.

"Yep! I found it! Isn't that great?"

_"It's hurt! Aren't you going to treat it?!"_

Midori seemed offended by the suggestion. "What? _No_! I totally just injured it and now you're telling me to _heal_ it? That is really weird. Nope, I'm not going to. Not until it says sorry." Then he paused. "I don't want to waste my time and money, see? It should have a reason for ending up like this, anyway."

The cat made a noise that sounded like a dying shriek, which only made Jillie stiffen. She attempted to give Midori a nasty glare, but the happy scoroo was unfazed by it and instead tilted his head innocently.

_"What did it do?!"_ She lunged forward in an attempt to grab the creature from Midori's grasp but the scoroo only flung it back to his stretchy tail.

"It was tearing at the walls! It was tearing the paint! It's a criminal offence and criminals have to be punished!"

_"It's a **cat**!"_

"That doesn't excuse it from the laws!"

And before Jillie could retort against that, Midori dropped the cat and ran off in yet another odd direction, dragging Giggle along with him. Jillie didn't follow them this time and instead picked up the cat and headed back to the castle to find some medical supplies.

* * *

**14 March 2015**

We'll have one more chapter of Midori just so I can give the village more story so they won't seem like lifeless dolls.

Midori didn't violently attack the cat by the way he found it injured and refused to pay for the medical bills and Haddle's not around

I had this chapter for six days why did I not post it


	94. Unsuspecting News

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Four: Unsuspecting News  
**

_Where Bandana Dee never trusts Midori with the dormitory again._

* * *

"There's _that_ disgusting corner, too—I thought I told you to keep the house _clean_!"

"It's only a little bit of dust," his mother huffed, although _that_ was an exaggeration, too. The corner looked like a perfectly normal corner that wasn't too dusty, too clean, and didn't have any insect corpses around it or whatever. (She sometimes wondered if Bandana Dee had superhuman eyes and could see germs no one else could see.)

Bandana Dee's eyes narrowed to slits. "No. I can _see_ the dust. It's flying. Everywhere."

"Dust is _always_ flying everywhere!"

Before Bandana Dee could begin his Wikipedia babble of how he had "_Googled_" the formation of dust and that it was a living creature and could breathe and move and act according to its own will, Mitchizuka calmly strutted in like one of those peacocks that were trained to strut. His face showed that he only carried bad news but Bandana Dee dropped his broom and marched forward to his friend.

(His mother took the opportunity to head back to the kitchen where she was cooking lunch and _not_ cleaning clean corners.)

"Midori called," Mitchizuka said, reclining into a chair with a sulky look. "He said he called _you_ but you didn't pick up."

"Uh, yeah, there were dusty corners," Bandana Dee replied with an irked look at the supposedly-dusty-corner, and to everyone else he sounded like a madman because all nice clean corners looked like that. "Anyway, yeah?"

"...Okay." Pretending not to judge him, the waddle doo swiped the tin of cookies from the table before him. "He had some news. The first was that he says we shouldn't go back to the castle early because he has stuff to do."

For the second time of the day, Bandana Dee narrowed his eyes and Mitchizuka undid the lid. "What '_stuff_'?"

He wasn't going to trust Midori with the dormitory again. The scoroo had a truckload of trash in the his part of the room and that was when Bandana Dee was actually around to monitor it. He couldn't stand going back to a messed up place. Maybe he _would_ stay with his parents a little longer and go back to the castle later.

"Something about a cracked potato." Mitchizuka popped a cookie into his mouth and Bandana Dee stared. And stared. "Don't give me that look," the waddle doo huffed through a mouthful of cookies. "I don't know what he meant, either."

Another long pause, and Bandana Dee finally sighed. Goodbye, cruel world.

"Oh! And the second..." Mitchizuka swallowed, "Kirby left the castle to another part of Pop Star—some other kingdom—to discuss some political issues or blah, Midori wasn't very clear about it, but basically, the castle won't have a king for the next week."

"_WHAT_?!"

"The minions are being very obedient, though, apparent—"

Bandana Dee stood up so fast Mitchizuka didn't even see the transition. "Pack your bags. We're heading back to the castle. I'm going to make sure he gets back. _Now_." He stormed to the direction of his room, yelling, "_Ugh_! Why didn't he _tell_ me?!"

Because you're clingy and he knows that, Mitchizuka wanted to say, but decided it was best to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he went to attempt to calm down the waddle dee who was muttering to himself about "life without Kirby is baseless".

* * *

**23 March 2015**

Bandana Dee's life without Kirby is like a broken pencil; it's _pointless_.


	95. Home No Home

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Five: Home No Home  
**

_Bandana Dee almost wants to go back to live with his parents.  
_

* * *

"What do you mean Kirby is _gone_?"

Getting back to the castle was Bandana Dee's top priority, and he immediately questioned the first creature standing by the gates—which happened to be Zephyr, which was good, because she knew what was going on and was organised and _usually_ wouldn't give Bandana Dee any bullcrap or whatever.

"Was that hard to comprehend?"

"You should've _stopped_ him!"

"I'm not supposed to stop a king from going to a fairly important gathering," Zephyr bit back.

Bandana Dee huffed in frustration. At least things weren't _that_ chaotic without him. He _was_ the leader of the waddle dees, so he _did_ have a fair amount of responsibilities, too, while Kirby was gone. Well, at least he had some form of leadership.

After briefly thanking Zephyr for the information, the waddle dee and his trusty friend who had been judging him for the past day trudged back into the castle. He was greeted with the sight of patrolling minions, working trams, and the final touches to repairing and reconstructing the castle. The usual. It eased Bandana Dee's irrational worry and they carried on to their dormitory.

Oh. Right. The dormitory. Bandana Dee's face blanched. What Mitchizuka had reported to him was not the news he had hoped for. If Haddle was not home, it meant Midori was meant to take care of it by himself, and that was not safe. At all. "Cracked potatoes", Mitchizuka had said.

He rang the doorbell first because he was not prepared to open the door by himself.

"_Comin'_!" a muffled yell from beyond the door responded, and some paces were heard before the door was tentatively opened and Midori peeked out at them. "Oh, _hi_! Yeah, don't come in first, there's some stuff I need to organise—"

"Let me in," Bandana Dee barked in that no-nonsense tone, and Midori obdiently sidestepped with a huge dorky smile on his face like always.

Despite the trash-talk about cracked potatoes, Bandana Dee didn't see any. Instead, he just found several potato chips scattered across the floor. Across the carpet. Across the chairs. Across the table. Across the everything.

And then there were the pens that Bandana Dee knew Midori treasured very much, and they were surprisingly still in one piece. They were strewn around the kitchen countertop, with sheets of paper doodled across _probably_ with those pens.

It wasn't as bad as Bandana Dee thought, but he had yet to see his room and he was very much uncertain about it.

"What happened here?" Bandana Dee demanded.

"Cracked potatoes," Mitchizuka reminded, cringing.

Midori puffed his cheeks. "_No_. I just headed out into the village! And I saw a bunch of villagers and they thought I was really cool when I said I worked in the castle so I invited them in!"

Okay. Fine. As long as Giggle didn't thrash the place. "Did they get into our bedroom?"

The scoroo's smile faltered slightly, but it was back again so fast Bandana Dee almost didn't catch it falling. "Yeah!"

Oh. Ugh.

"...What about Haddle's?"

If they _did_ get into Haddle's, then Bandana Dee was going to have to pack up all over again and they'd have to run to the islands. They'd have to be nomads to run from Haddle and even then their safety was not guaranteed. Haddle would hunt them down until the end of their lives. And probably even after that. Probably even in the rumoured paradise creatures go to after they die, Haddle would still be on their tails.

Thankfully, Midori gleefully shook his head.

"Oh! But there's a snake somewhere in the room, and I can't find it! Do you think you can help me crush his skull inwards if you see him? Thanks!"

Bandana Dee spun on his heel and would've made it to the door if Mitchizuka hadn't pulled him back.

* * *

**31 March 2015**

THE GOOD NEWS is that I have a rough sketch of the next 10 chapters or so and that is a good thing _okkkkkkk?!.?_ ok.

Also yeah tomorrow is April Fools' but nothing weird is going to happen. Nope, no troll chapter, no odd events happening, and no writing the chapter in Chinese.

the last one sounds very tempting though.


	96. Meetings

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Six: Meetings  
**

_Kirby is not as troubled as he should be.  
_

* * *

Kirby always did wonder what Dedede did as the king. Yes, yes he did. Seeing as how he wasn't close to anyone from the castle when it still was known as Castle Dedede, he didn't get much information. You know, apart from the crazy bandana-wearing waddle dee.

When Kirby was called for the "annual meeting", he wasn't quite sure what to do, because half of his minions were off visiting their homes. He later decided it was a good thing, because it meant less chaos. (Hopefully.) He placed the leaders on duty, and then hurriedly left in order to get a quick return.

He had to head to Nutty Noon, he remembered. He wasn't entirely sure if it would be safe, seeing as how he had combated all the other kings in order to restore Magolor's ship. And if they were bore a grudge against him because of that, it made situations _very_ tricky. He could _probably_ still beat them... but still not a very good idea.

So when Kirby was welcomed into Nutty Noon with open arms, he felt extremely relieved. More than relieved, but who cared? There was transport to the top of the tower, where the meeting would be held, and Kirby let himself stare at the mechanics of Nutty Noon in awe.

"You are quite early," rumbled the very familiar-sounding sphere doomer.

With a small grin, Kirby dropped his bag casually, waving at Grand Doomer. "I actually didn't know you were a king," he admitted. "I thought the huge bird was. Last I checked."

"Stealing his position was not hard. He was unfit to be king."

Kirby made no reply to that for fear of offending the huge sphere doomer before him. Instead, he nodded mutely before taking a seat on the ground. "You're okay about that time, right?"

"You did it for your friend. There are no grudges held." Saying _what_ it was felt taboo to both of them, Kirby supposed. He was okay with that.

"...You sphere doomers never returned to where you came from?"

"We do not 'belong' to any place, nor are we obliged to return to any specific area. We are free roamers."

"Oh. Okay."

Following that was a silence Kirby decided he was grateful for, and he sat on the ground to observe his surroundings. He hadn't been paying attention at that time, when he was fighting Grand Doomer—well of course he didn't have a look around, he could have _died_—but now that he could, the scenery actually did seem very nice. Sophisticated. It looked like he was on top of the universe and he was staring down at it. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn't. He really wasn't about to ask Grand Doomer about something so trivial like that—maybe he would some other time. It was pretty, nonetheless.

The kings slowly trailed into the area, and Kirby recognised every single one of them, but then he paused—if Grand Doomer was the king of Nutty Noon, which area of Pop Star did Kirby own, exactly? He knew there were six areas—Cookie Country, Raisin Ruins, and the like, and Dream Land in the very center of it all, so he assumed Dream Land was his. But then again, the pink puffball knew Whispy Woods was _not_ a king, but just some weird... rampant... tree.

"Tiny," Goriath commented, most likely in a non-insulting way. The kings were all very wary of Kirby, since he had thrashed them all previously. And it didn't take much effort.

Kirby forced a smile at that remark, mostly because he was nervous. He was _very_ tiny compared to all the others, although that didn't trouble him much.

Throughout the meeting, they mostly discussed the presence of Kirby as a _king_, which he attempted to dismiss the thought in his head. He still didn't know how to view himself as a _king_ and not cringe every time. Which was the only pressing matter, really.

He managed to somehow assume that his area was both Dream Land _and_ Cookie Country, which was troublesome in a way because it was a lot to handle. Yet he was glad he didn't have any other area because apparently each of them had their own problem.

Nutty Noon was sort of the place where lunatics resided, there were _riots_ in White Wafers, it was all water in Onion Ocean and Kirby was not really a sea animal, and Raisin Ruins was, well, scorching.

The Dreamstalk was in Dream Land, though, so that matters was his, as well. He'd probably hand that over to Taranza or something—because, last he heard, Dedede had jailed him for assisting an attack (no matter how remorseful one was, if they did something bad, they'd have to pay for it, right?) and Kirby wasn't sure if Taranza could even survive out there anymore, since no one was willing to take him in for any job, and he wouldn't fit into the castle very well, for all he did.

Which was the bad thing, Kirby decided. Once you did something really completely unjustifiable, no matter how much you regret it later, the effects of it will mostly remain and your name will bring up bad memories.

When he voiced that opinion, the others mostly seemed surprised. Kirby held his ground and braced himself for any possible objection, but there were none. They all silently accepted it and carried on.

Though, he did hear Mr Dooter say, "He's a very unique fellow."

* * *

**3 April 2015**

...AKA the chapter which answers all your questions of Kirby.

Which I should've done long ago.


	97. Tribe Traits

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Seven: Tribe Traits  
**

_If all scoroos cared that little, Bandana Dee would set up a "Make the Scoroos Care" (MSC) campaign.  
_

* * *

Bandana Dee sometimes wondered if his green scoroo friend really cared much about practically anything at all. If he was hardworking enough to try and score a job at the castle, _probably_. Then again, he could've been doing it out of boredom.

He seemed content while scarfing down the fried rice Celeste cooked for them (she did that only after being the receiving end of Bandana Dee's long grumbling), and it felt like they hadn't just been chasing and catching a snake around the living room just an hour ago. There were a lot of things Bandana Dee was dying to know, like _why is there a snake in the room and holy hell why did you call it Fergus when you released_ _it_, but he was simply too tired and decided to leave that for the next day.

Speaking of the next day, Haddle was returning then, too, right?

...And why did Midori never leave for his own home?

He _did_ ask the scoroo about it over dinner and this is how Midori replied:

"Oh, I didn't want to see them."

Bandana Dee blinked, and again wondered if Midori really cared about anything. Mitchizuka shot Midori an equally puzzled look, but the scoroo didn't seem to notice any of those. And if he did, he pretended not to. Or maybe he didn't care.

"Why not?" Bandana Dee inquired, and Midori rolled his eye to the ceiling as if saying _oh not this again_. "They're your _family_. They're the reason you _exist_. You should appreciate them, y'know."

"I do," Midori responded dryly, before stuffing another spoonful of rice into who-knows-where his mouth was.

"Then _visit_ them!"

"But why would I?"

At that, Bandana Dee was almost unsure of how to respond. Midori didn't look angry, but maybe a little miffed—had others asked him that question before? He was usually happy, anyway, and if he ever had a sour mood it wouldn't take long for him to shake that off.

Mitchizuka looked just as confused, but he seemed all too tired from all the events that had happened that day, and he simply just ate his food in silence and nodded every so often.

"I don't know—" Midori rolled his eye once again, a really awful habit, Bandana Dee decided. "To see how they're doing? Show more gratitude!"

"I _am_ grateful!"

"Don't you _care_ about them?"

"No, not really."

"Do all scoroos give this little amount of shits?"

"Think so. Yeah."

The whole conversation translated to "yeah it just works like that can I eat my food now?" and Bandana Dee reluctantly gave in, casting the absolutely-silent Mitchizuka a raised brow but did nothing else.

* * *

**4 April 2015**

Warning: there are absolutely no interesting chapters until 100 / 101.


	98. Yard-Standing

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Eight: Yard-Standing  
**

_Mitchizuka stands around in the yard because that's what he's supposed to do.  
_

* * *

When Kirby came back, Bandana Dee proceeded to whine and produce a hundred lies to make it sound like he had been fighting a bull nonstop ever since Kirby left. (Metaphorically, yes. Actuality? No.) Kirby smiled and laughed and told Bandana Dee he was sure that the waddle dee could handle it because he was extremely capable, and Bandana Dee took the bait and his self-esteem pumped up by a bundle.

Mitchizuka was fine. You know. What was he feeling? He wasn't really feeling anything. …He was feeling Mitchizuka-y. (And to be honest, that wasn't too bad.) Bandana Dee had worried and fretted the past few days, but Mitchizuka was just fine, really. Still the same idiot. Still the same oblivious ball of paranoia.

A particularly cold morning it was when Bandana Dee all but rammed into Mitchizuka's back.

"Whoa! Friend. Friend. Calm down," Mitchizuka huffed. He was on guard duty in the yard and it was the worst possible duty right then because it was snowing, Mitchizuka was sniffling, and even though he had two layers on him he was shivering. Darn.

"Have you seen Kirby?! I haven't seen Kirby all day! Oh my gosh, what if he got himself into trouble?! What if he left us for another week?! Ugh!"

"You're really clingy."

(Mitchizuka had two modes. One being the blur, overly-stupid, overly-gullible, generally idiotic, and the other being very dead to the world.)

Bandana Dee gave Mitchizuka a very mad look at that. "I'm not clingy. As the king's sidekick, I must know his general whereabouts. In case he is in any danger, that is. And you never know! He might be!"

"He's not the hero of Dream Land—or all the planets, actually—for nothing. He'll be fine. He's stronger than you." Bandana Dee smacked Mitchizuka indignantly, but did not refute that fact. "And he beat the whole castle. If he was defeated, I doubt we can do anything about it."

"But did you see him?!"

Mitchizuka paused and blinked up at the sky, heavy with grey, then back down at Bandana Dee. He couldn't really remember. Did he? Or did he not?

Well, he did see Kirby walk across, maybe, but that was a few hours ago. No one usually crossed this yard—to the right led to the main castle and the left a shortcut to the prison cells. And which way did he go? Hmm… Kirby was walking… oh, right, Kirby was walking towards the left—to the prison cells..?

"There." Mitchizuka gestured to the left, and the bandana-toting waddle dee gazed at the small path lined with two cement walls, but it looked more like a dense undergrowth. And Mitchizuka could almost feel Bandana Dee's dread.

"The prison cells?! Oh my gosh, we need to get him—"

"I honestly wouldn't worry. I mean, there's not much that can danger Kirby there."

"But—!"

Bandana Dee fell silent, before turning away and stalking off in a huff. It was the one of the few times he actually acknowledged a loss to Mitchizuka, but who's counting?

* * *

**7 April 2015**

This was out _yesterday _in case you didn't notice, on the Tumblr blog because school computers are iffy like that :p

If you want on-time releases/reads check it and if you _don't_ then don't. Everything is ultimately uploaded here anyway.


	99. Ball of Paranoia

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Ninety-Nine: Ball of Paranoia  
**

_That's what Bandana Dee is. A ball of paranoia.  
_

* * *

Unfortunately, Bandana Dee hounded everyone and everything after that. From Haddle to Celeste to the innocent bush outside Zinnia's house. Everything.

It eventually came back down to Midori, who was at the dormitory, shovelling a spoonful of rice into his mouth. With cabbage. And fish. Not the ideal dinner, but Bandana Dee announced a budget a while ago. Budgets were terrible for Midori.

"Midori," Bandana Dee began, barging into Midori's dinner like he did almost every day, "Kirby was headed to the prison cells!"

"Okay," came Midori's very normal reply.

"This is not okay! What if he's gone to lock himself up?!" Bandana Dee yelled.

"Dedede's there! That's why!" Midori scowled, transmitting a very effective BACK OFF SO I CAN EAT IN PEACE, ASS message. Bandana Dee didn't get it.

"That's even worse! What if Dedede attacks and becomes king"

"SHIT, BANDANA DEE!" Midori cried. "HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO THICK AND STUPID?!"

"I am not thick or stupid!"

"Yes, you're both!"

Bandana Dee huffed, rolling his eyes and jumping onto the chair opposite Midori. The scoroo continued scarfing down his meal like just before someone oh-so-rudely interrupted him.

Unfortunately, Bandana Dee wasn't done.

"So what was he doing?"

Midori really didn't understand how someone could be so thick and stupid.

He chose to remain silent, and Bandana Dee didn't really notice, anyway. The waddle dee was too lost in thought and the scoroo was too lost in eating. It was best if neither spoke up, Midori decided. Bandana Dee was painfully smart yet painfully clingy and painfully thick at times.

Midori's barrier of silence did not last long. Bandana Dee jerked his gaze back to him almost accusingly, and Midori immediately felt indignant, because hey, asshole, what the hell did I ever do to you? You're disturbing me and my dinner, so back off, slime-ball.

"So what was he doing?" Bandana Dee prompted. Midori was nearly done with his bowl. Great.

"Visiting Dedede."

"Why?"

"He's thinking of freeing him, obviously."

Bandana Dee made a sound that was between a strangled cat and a whale giving birth. "You're kidding!"

"...Why would I? Pranks are really nice but not now."

If he had a mouth, Bandana Dee's would've been agape, because it was very uncharacteristic of Midori to _not_ pull pranks. But anyway, the point was, if Dedede was freed from the prison—what if he ambushed Kirby after taking advantage of his kindness?! What if Kirby lost?! What if Dedede became king again?! Bandana Dee could almost _see_ it unfolding before him, and hell no he did not want that happening.

_And_, if Dedede knew they had very happy lives during Kirby's reign, there was no doubt he'd get extremely annoyed and frustrated and treat them all like shit-balls! And who treated shit-balls nicely? _"Oh, hey there, shit-ball, are you having a nice day? Do you want to be treated to lunch or something?"_ Psychopaths, indeed. That would be so psychopathic.

Bandana Dee suppressed another question before it would escape him (in which he had been intending to ask if there was any way to stop that) because Midori clearly was in a very shitty mood right then, and talking to people with shitty moods would only result in Bandana Dee having a shitty mood, so he shut up.

Well, he _almost_ shut up. He found it very inappropriate to leave the conversations like that, and squinted as he thought of a final remark he could end it off with.

"Okay," he finally said, which sounded very normal and Midori was grateful for it, "when Dedede takes control of the castle, please make sure to kill me."

Midori blinked, shook his head with a roll of his eye, and stood up to wash his bowl.

* * *

**7 April 2015**

Bandana Dee = lame idiot

Everyone else = not lame idiots

Just for this chapter.


	100. Normal

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred: Normal  
**

_It takes Bandana Dee a bunch of days to settle down.  
_

* * *

The next day, when Bandana Dee woke up, he functioned normally. He didn't breathe a word about "where the hell is Kirby", "what's he doing in the prisons" or anything similar, and instead simply headed to the kitchen normally and when he saw Mitchizuka he mumbled a sleepy greeting. Just like normal.

This was good news for Mitchizuka who had received the brunt end of it all. It was good. It was _great_. _THANK THE HIGH HEAVENS_.

"Anything happening today?" Midori casually asked. As usual. It was the scoroo's daily habit in the morning. Bandana Dee was often the one who received the latest news in the morning in the letterbox. Early bird, he was. Midori usually asked the questions. You know, the important ones. And the unimportant ones. It just seemed like Midori's _job_ and no one else's.

Bandana Dee blinked up from where he had been concentrating on spreading his jam perfectly onto his slice of bread. Mitchizuka inwardly smiled; the past few days, Bandana Dee's jam had gone haywire. It was lumpy. Like the waddle doo's jam. Exactly like his.

"Oh, yeah," the waddle dee replied, returning to his job of making his breakfast. "Kirby wanted to gather us all in the announcement yard. It's really important, so no, Mitchizuka, you can't skip."

Slack-jawed, Mitchizuka whined. Darn. He was hoping he could get away with it. (Though, Bandana Dee considered any and all of Kirby's announcements important. They kind of were, the waddle doo would admit. But hey, he could still skip, _right_?)

Haddle, who had been silently nibbling at his own toast because he was the most normal out of all of them, looked up to stare at Bandana Dee like he had left a very important detail out. Which he had, probably.

Haddle was very sharp.

"What time is it going to be?"

"Oh, that." Bandana Dee almost laughed airily and placed another slice of bread on the jam-spread one. Then he glanced at the clock. "It's in—_holy crap it's in ten minutes_!"

* * *

**9 April 2015**

I meant to post this yesterday. But.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is a phobia of long words which is pretty weird because how are you supposed to explain to someone you have it? You'd cry every time you'd have to explain to someone i don't eveen


	101. Released

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and One: Released  
**

_If you asked Kirby who he wouldn't forgive, he wouldn't be able to come up with an answer._

* * *

"Thanks for gathering them all," Kirby mentioned nonchalantly, like it wasn't really a big deal (and it wasn't), but Bandana Dee took the gratitude very seriously and saluted, and Kirby only laughed. The new king had already become used to all the formalities and such, the bandana-toting waddle dee assumed. Maybe it was the meeting he recently attended.

After that, Kirby permitted Bandana Dee to head down to the announcement yard with the others—well, more like _forced_ to, because Bandana Dee began whining about the what-ifs about literally anything and everything and Kirby waved it all off and told him to get down to the announcement yard. But he didn't until Kirby turned away and flat-out ignored him.

It wasn't like Kirby was deliberately being rude to Bandana Dee, but things could get too clingy sometimes. And Kirby needed to get the announcement over fast, because people were starting to become impatient, and he couldn't have that.

He walked up to the podium that had always stood on the balcony—the "announcement balcony", some people in the castle called it—and did his usual greetings and all, just because it was some protocol. That he didn't like. Could he change it?

"I'm sure most, if not all, of you know how I became king." He must've said it really abruptly or something, because the the crowd below suddenly fell silent, and Kirby felt his palms starting to sweat. "It was... because the previous king... well, he had—I'm sorry. He was unable to function as king for a period of time and for that I was elected to be the king. Because many requested for it."

Okay, there wasn't really a need to tell them any of it because they already knew, but it was the only way for Kirby to feel slightly less uneasy when making the proper announcement. He was pretty sure most would be shocked and, if not, horrified.

They didn't have a say in it—Kirby wasn't a tyrannical leader, but for that, he decided it would be better.

"The previous king, Dedede, was sent down to prison for attempted murder. But it was also because I myself wasn't sure what to do with him." They knew that, too. "Recently, I noticed a change. So I decided it might just be a bit better if I released him from jail—"

Kirby completed his sentence, but the moment he did, the whole crowd was sent into an uproar. For the better or for the worse, he wasn't really sure, but he cleared his throat and kept a smile plastered to his face. Scanning the minions, a few seemed enthusiastic, excited—and the others were shocked, some even _angry_ and _infuriated_, although Kirby wasn't sure why when he hadn't even finished speaking.

"_But_!" He said it exceptionally loudly, which he knew would draw the attention of the cacophonous crowd beneath. "He will not stay in the castle. Seeing as how a lot of you have had a nasty experience with him, I thought it would be best if I sent him to the village instead."

And this time, the crowd was a lot more subdued. A few were still agitated, but most relieved, and Kirby smiled to himself because he knew he had tackled the main problem spot on. Relief washed over him—which was an understatement. He was _drenched_ with relief. And then he was the calm and amazing person he knew he was.

The clock rang out, across the whole castle, and Kirby nearly shivered. He always found the clock tower a little creepy. Especially the noises it made. But oh well—their duties had to be resumed soon, so he didn't have a lot of time left.

He shifted his weight to his right foot. "So, if you have any objections to make, do drop a note in my letterbox. That's really all I have to say. Have a good day, and _don't_ shirk work."

Down, down, below at the yard, Mitchizuka blanched.

As the crowd dispersed, Kirby turned back and walked off the podium, out of the balcony, almost breathless because that had been a very difficult announcement to make. At least it ended well. Sort of.

Kirby saw Dedede standing along the hallway where he was walking down, mouth agape, and Kirby simply smiled wordlessly in return and sauntered past the penguin.

There wasn't any bashing included, but Kirby won another fight.

* * *

**9 April 2015**

And one year later, we are back at 101 which is actually not a very good thing because there are 365 days in a year and I've only had 101 updates oh my gosh I suck someone shoot me

On another note, happy birthday Nashew! _stopgettingolder_

Confirmation in case you weren't paying attention: no this is not the last chapter.


	102. Nicknames

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Two: Nicknames  
**

_Midori is very creative and Bandana Dee finds Midori very creative in negative ways. _

* * *

"Oh my gosh he's been released _he's been released_ Dedede has been _released_—"

"We were all there, so shut up," Haddle, who, frankly, grew tired of shit from the bull's ass—or _posterior_, Celeste would've said—and after hearing about three different snakes and a snake named George and Tiffany and whatnot he was more than happy to give them an earful.

Mitchizuka's eye twitched, but he didn't talk about it anymore. Bandana Dee, being the Normal Bandana Dee (thank _God_ not Clingy Bandana Dee), stared up at the balcony Kirby had been standing on and blinked and turned away like it didn't really bother him, whereas Mitchizuka was practically _hyperventilating_ and Midori was jumping around and laughing hysterically for no apparent reason.

Unfortunately, their one-eyed friend was back to a wreck of nerves in a second. "What if he _terrorizes _us?!"

"Kirby won't allow it," Haddle snapped.

"What if he _tries_?! What if we _die_?!"

"Hey, that rhymed!" Midori sang flippantly, jumping from foot to foot, blinking to the left and observing Bandana Dee's leaving figure. "Dana-Dana, you're leaving already?"

While Mitchizuka and Haddle argued about Dedede going to terrorize them and Kirby was not that terrible and that rainbows were made by reflection and refraction of light and loads of other stuff, Bandana Dee whirled around so fast you would've thought Midori had just said "Kirby fell ill and got really sick and then he died. Just after the announcement."

"_What_ did you just call me?"

"'Dana-Dana'? You know, Ban_dana_ Dee? 'Dana'? 'Dana-Dana'?"

"I have—no words. I am so disgusted by that name."

"So Ban-Ban works better?"

"Better than Dana-Dana."

And with that, Midori broke out into a beam, and Bandana Dee was utterly convinced that Midori's brain had stopped maturing when he was five. "All righty!"

* * *

**10 April 2015**

The new avatar business on FFN is really troublesome by the way.


	103. Midori

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Three: Midori  
**

_He's got a handful of screws loose, but Bandana Dee thinks he's okay._

* * *

Midori was an odd thing. He came from an odd forest in some lonely cold place of the planet and stuck out like a sore thumb that had just been kicked by an elephant and his species sounded like something that would've come out of a fairy tale. He wasn't exactly right in the head, either.

...Okay, troublesome, too. The recent snake fiasco was not particularly pleasing to _any_ of his roommates, and occasionally when Bandana Dee returned back to the dormitory Midori would be pouring the contents of a bottle of soap down the sink because he didn't like the brand or it made him feel very violated afterwards or it smelled like the cereal he ate that morning and _Bandana Dee go buy a new bottle of soap_.

Impulsive, too, but Bandana Dee wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. It was a good thing because Midori was not reluctant to keep himself happy and a bad thing because crap they were going to be _broke_ if Midori pampered himself every day. Being broke did not sound like a good idea. Bandana Dee didn't really want to end up in an alley with the other three hobos and screaming into the wall, "_WHY, GOD, WHY?!"_

"What are you doing?" Midori asked, bouncing from foot to foot. Active, too. _Very_. He couldn't sit down and Bandana Dee remembered the scoroo once said he only needed three hours of sleep but got five, so maybe that was why?

"Thinking about all your terrible traits." _That_ wasn't a lie.

"_Ooh_! I've got a list of terrible traits you have, too! Like your jam is _always_ perfectly spread, you always fold the sheets _neatly_, and you _always_ take five hours to write one letter because it has to look nice! What's the word? Pur—Pear—_Perfectionist_! It's not good to be a perfectionist—"

Cue Bandana Dee tuning out Midori, something both of them had grown accustomed to. Bandana Dee didn't mind Midori's babbling, really, but if there were better things to do, he'd attend to those better things first. Analysing his friend's characters was _of course_ one of those better things.

Thankfully, Midori eventually gave up and skipped off to harass Mitchizuka. Good. Bandana Dee still had a couple of minutes before they _both_ came to annoy him.

Maybe he could pass it off to Haddle?

* * *

**20 April 2015**

Can my chapter titles get any more boring?

_try me._


	104. Mitchizuka

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Four: Mitchizuka  
**

_He isn't amusing, yet he is. Stupidly amusing, maybe._

* * *

Mitchizuka had been Bandana Dee's very very very very very very close bud since the day they both got accepted.

It started out like... two noobs getting lost in the very big castle. Dedede was not smart, nor considerate, and while there were (very faded) maps stuck on walls, said walls were in some eerie hallway of the castle, or some crowded-as-hell place where no one could see anything.

They just talked a little and had a bit of awkward mumbling, and then Bandana Dee offered to buy them tacos and he did and they sat against some greasy wall and gnawed on tacos for the next two hours.

Bandana Dee then proceeded to cleanly and conveniently forget the next bits, because they were highly embarrassing. How sweet the sound of selective memory.

Moving on.

"Bandana Dee!" This was either a plea of help or just a random idiot trying to randomly badger Bandana Dee to the ends of all times. "_Bandana Dee_! Bandana Dee Bandana Dee Bandana Dee Bandana Dee Bandana Dee Bandana Dee—"

"_Yes_?" Bandana Dee ground out with powders of sarcasm, because _that_ was just annoying.

"Do you wanna hear a joke? Midori just told me to me and he said it's okay to share it with anyone and I think you look really bored 'cause you're not really doing anything—I mean you're just holding those scissors! What are you going to do with them?"

"I am going to stab your eyeballs—_eyeball_, I mean—out if you don't shut up."

Mitchizuka faltered, but was back in a second. "So do you wanna hear a joke?"

"_No_."

"Why should you never believe an atom?"

The waddle dee paused briefly to wonder if Mitchizuka knew what "no" meant. Hm. Maybe he didn't. It was tough explaining the word "no", unless Mitchizuka knew the meaning of "negative". Did he? Perhaps not. Where was that dusty dictionary?

"Because they make up everything! Get it? _Ahahahaha_! _Laugh_, Bandana Dee, _you're supposed to laugh_!"

"I'm laughing," Bandana Dee sighed. "Full of giggles." Was the dictionary in the cupboard under the television, or in the kitchen? Bandana Dee wasn't sure. Midori organised the place however he liked, and the scoroo was beyond weird.

Ugh, why didn't Haddle do the organising instead? Things would make so much more sense.

While Bandana Dee slunk off the chair he had comfortably reclined in, Mitchizuka continued, "Oh, I have another one! Why did the second hand on the clock always make other people cry?"

Open the cupboard under the television, and... Bandana Dee heaved a second sigh. Nope. It wasn't there. Must be in the kitchen cupboards, probably. Bandana Dee sneezed, before closing the cupboard doors and gingerly making his way across the mountain of books he was sorting out towards the kitchen.

"Because it was always moving!" Mitchizuka burst into another fit of hysterics, and Bandana Dee rolled his eyes and proceeded to search the thousands of kitchen cupboards for that one dictionary.

* * *

**25 April 2015**

I should probably say I'm (_trying to_) update alternate days because clearly I will never update every day.


	105. Haddle

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Five: Haddle**

_Supernatural force of highly destructive power._

* * *

Bandana Dee was terrified of Haddle.

He always tried to justify this by saying a lot of people were, although Midori (or sometimes Mitchizuka) would always retort with the fact that _lots_ more people were terrified and horrified at the sound of Zinnia's name. Bandana Dee didn't really count Zinnia, because Haddle was sane and she was not. She kept _carcasses_ in her _cupboard_ and if _that_ was _sane_ Bandana Dee may just take a jump off the cliff sometime soon.

Despite Bandana Dee's (very small) fear of Haddle, it didn't really stop or cause problems in their friendship. Haddle still talked to Bandana Dee, although rarely, since Haddle was often busy at his clinic. And Bandana Dee responded. They had conversations. Okay conversations, Bandana Dee supposed.

In fact, Haddle had a habit of complaining about some of his very annoying patients; something Haddle normally didn't do to anyone, so Bandana Dee felt a little honoured. Haddle wasn't the type to freely discuss their problems and annoyances with literally anyone, contrary to Midori and Mitchizuka.

Sometimes, being the mother hen, Bandana Dee would wait in the living room for Haddle's return. He didn't get bored, entertained by Midori's constant screaming at something or other, since Midori actually didn't need any sleep at all. Or if Midori was on patrol—which he was twice a week—Bandana Dee would watch Mitchizuka from the living room like a hawk to make sure he was fast asleep and not secretly, Bandana Dee didn't know, doing something _weird_.

"How was it today?" Bandana Dee greeted as Haddle walked in all zombie-like, which reminded Bandana Dee of one of Midori's game of some zombie apocalypse or other. Midori didn't really play _that_ anymore, so Bandana Dee didn't quite remember it.

"_Someone came to the clinic because they didn't know what to do with their expired toothpaste._"

Even though Haddle had his violence and all, Bandana Dee did think he had to be quite patient to still survive with his job for the last... two years? There were other Haddles in the castle, but this Haddle was the Haddle. As in, _the_ Haddle. While they were all irreplaceable, Bandana Dee did think Haddle was quite outstanding. Or maybe the waddle dee was just being biased because the doctor was paying for his room rent.

"Why don't you quit your job?" It slipped out faster than Bandana Dee intended it to. He had been considering to not ask such a weird question at all.

Haddle blinked at Bandana Dee a few times. "Why _would_ I quit my job?"

"I dunno... you're always complaining about it. If it makes you that unhappy, then you should quit. I mean, not really _quit_, but become, like... a normal minion. Who does normal stuff. Nothing _too_ noticeable."

Said the pathetic leader of the waddle dees, indeed.

Haddle snorted, and Bandana Dee wondered if he had said anything particularly funny, or something he could be mocked for. He didn't recall any. Haddle probably had detected something very very very very deep within his words, then. Haddle tended to do that.

"Say I _did_ quit. All the pathetic minions who get sick within the span of Dory's memory—what are _they_ going to do?" Haddle paused briefly, but Bandana Dee didn't try to answer. Rhetorical questions, they all were. "There _are_ a few other healers, but they're still in training. Unfortunately, if I were to quit now, the circumstances would be less then pleasant."

Bandana Dee nearly asked Haddle why he used such big and nice and fancy words but decided to keep his mouth shut.

* * *

**27 April 2015**

Haddle is an adjective in all this yes.


	106. Kirby

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Six: Kirby  
**

_Highly-respected creature of almost-perfection._

* * *

Before Bandana Dee met Kirby in that empty field that day he was sent down for village-checking, Bandana Dee had always thought Kirby was some disastrous monster with a goal of world domination. As embarrassing as it was, yes, he _had_ thought that.

If you asked Bandana Dee to describe Kirby, he wouldn't be sure what to say. Kirby was just _Kirby_; he could be there but you could feel like he was worlds away from you. Untouchable, in a sense, which was most accurate in both meanings of the words because no one in the castle could successfully land a blow on him.

Though, the pink puffball wasn't _completely_ perfect, Bandana Dee knew. He was a fickle puffball, doting on different minions every day. He often abandoned his duties, too, to sit on a parapet and stare down at the village. _"Because it's really peaceful,"_ Kirby once told Bandana Dee when the waddle dee had asked why.

For the most part, he was a good person.

He granted people breaks whenever they felt like they needed one—though he _did_ keep tabs, which was a good thing, because there were _really_ lazy minions there. He hadn't snapped at all, as far as Bandana Dee knew, which was a lot, because rumours spread fast in the castle. Kirby was actually quite lazy and took his time to do things, regardless of whatever deadlines, but he _did_ always get his work done. You know, eventually.

"Do you have parents?" Bandana Dee asked, saddling himself on the swing. Kirby liked to escape from the office to one of the small gardens in the castle, and Bandana Dee happened to know which one was his favourite. No, he was not a stalker, stop those accusations you retarded ignoramus.

"Yep!" Kirby had already pushed off on his own swing. If Bandana Dee ever met Kirby in the garden, they'd have a small chat. Or if Bandana Dee felt dutiful, he would badger the pink puffball until he returned to work. Though that usually didn't happen.

"Really?"

"Are you doubting me?" It didn't come out as offensive, but more of in an amused voice. "Though you've never seen them before, so I guess I can't really blame you." He swung one more oscillation before continuing, "They don't live here. My mum's skin is really sensitive, so they moved over to Aquarius. It doesn't have any seasonal changes and my dad likes the water, I think."

It wasn't a very clear explanation, but it was enough for Bandana Dee. Besides, it wasn't really right of him to ask too many personal questions, though Kirby probably didn't mind. It was still rude.

"Why don't you live with them?" Bandana Dee didn't dare swing as high as Kirby was. He had always thought if he went up too high he would go around the swing three-sixty degrees three-sixty times and he would either have to visit the hospital or be dead by then. It was something he imagined as a child and it stuck with him.

Kirby shook his head and didn't reply for a while. "I like Pop Star the best. The continents and oceans are all balanced out. Besides, it'd be troublesome if I had to save the planet while living on Aquarius, anyway."

"You wouldn't adapt to the conditions for your parents?" Mitchizuka sometimes called Bandana Dee "The Filial One".

It took Kirby a lot longer to reply than usual, and Bandana Dee decided he'd asked the wrong thing. "We're not very close," Kirby finally said, before stopping mid-oscillation and hopping off the swing.

* * *

**1 May 2015**

_it's Mitchizuka's birthday in case you forgot_

Which I did. Forget. Until just about two seconds ago.


	107. Peap

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Seven: Peap  
**

_He's a good person, Bandana Dee thinks._

* * *

"Say, Peap, why do you let Zephyr kick you around?"

Peap hovered on that thought for a while, before the words sunk into him like a piece of cheese sinking into a bottle of water—if cheese even floated, of course. Maybe it didn't.

"Zephyr does not _kick_ me around," Peap retorted, "and I _follow_ her around because we happen to have the exact same schedule."

"And you're a lost puppy?" Bandana Dee pressed.

"No—yes." Glumly, Peap twirled the teaspoon in his hand before dunking it back into his tea to swirl it around in the liquid again. "Yes," he muttered in confirmation.

If he were to be described, Bandana Dee were to describe him with one word: good. Because that was simply what Peap was: _good_. If he really needed another adjective, it'd be "normal", probably. Peap was normal. In a good way. He did his duties, sometimes skipped if he was lazy, didn't get himself into trouble, didn't often talk back. He did have somewhat of a backbone, as demonstrated just now, which was good.

Exactly. Peap was good. No more, no less.

"You don't do your own hobbies?"

"I have none."

"If you follow her around like that, people might think you're her stalker or something. It _happens_."

"Then let them think."

Bandana Dee stared. And stared. Just stared. That was an awfully carefree remark, don't you think? Most would've retorted. Ah, but that _was_ what made Peap Peap; he was a good person.

And of course, Bandana Dee was not. "Are you even waddle dee if you said something like _that_? Have you lost your sense of shame?"

"Birds who've lost their ability to fly are still birds."

Okay, Bandana Dee couldn't argue with _that_.

"So you've lost your sense of shame?"

"If you'd like to put it that way."

The conversation came to a stop.

Bandana Dee, being not as fluent in socializing compared to _some others_ (Mitchizuka), flailed desperately for another topic to talk about. Peap didn't really seem to care but Bandana Dee cared so much the care could not even get any larger.

"So," Bandana Dee nervously trilled, "do you like potatoes?"

* * *

**6 May 2015**

After this I may not update for maybe a week because I'll be cracking my head over my other fic.

_Probably._


	108. Celeste

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Eight: Celeste  
**

_Bandana Dee does know none of the people whom he's met will get away with the label "normal". Yes, he does._

* * *

Bandana Dee didn't understand how Zinnia could be Zinnia and be the older sister of Celeste and Celeste could turn out so non-psychopathic.

To be very very honest, Bandana Dee _did_ think Celeste was actually a hidden psychopath who cackled outside in the night and looped lassos around her voodoo dolls and silently marking the death rates in the castle up, although Bandana Dee wasn't dead yet, so he wasn't really sure. It _was_ still kinda weird.

He needed to talk to Celeste anyway—Zinnia once mentioned the fact they had "other siblings", but Bandana Dee wasn't really comfortable asking Zinnia literally anything. Not that Bandana dee was comfortable around Celeste—like, how do you _talk_ to good, nice people who hadn't wronged you before in any way?

(As you can see, Bandana Dee can be very socially awkward.)

"How many dolls do you have?" Bandana Dee asked. Celeste liked relaxing around in one of the sewing rooms if Zinnia wasn't around, so it wasn't really hard to find her. Every minion had their favourite spot in the gigantic castle, after all.

"Many." Celeste lifted her stubs and drew her gaze upwards, like she was starting to count, then dropped her hands and seemingly gave up. "Most of my room is filled with them," she admitted, because she didn't really have a number. "We don't really have space for a storage room for all of my dolls. I don't need too much space, I think, so it's fine."

"You don't have a storage room? But there's an extra door that Zinnia said was a storage room." Zinnia could have been playing pranks, but there was nothing very significant about a _door_.

Celeste frowned, pausing mid-stitch, before saying, "That room is Zinnia's spare." Then she continued with her stitching.

Oh—that made sense. Bandana Dee actually thought the room would have belonged to the "other siblings". Did Zinnia have a room, though? Midori said she usually used the living room to sleep.

"What does she put in there?"

Blink. Stare. Then Celeste shook her head and turned back to her work.

Oh. Right. It was Zinnia's. And that meant the room probably had... well. Unmentionables.

"What about your other siblings?"

"You mean my brothers?"

Oh, brothers. Bandana Dee hadn't seen any male in their dormitory apart from Old Geezer, though. Maybe they left the castle to do some other type of work? Maybe they didn't work at all? Maybe they were dead?

Okay, the last one was a little far-fetched, Bandana Dee would admit. If it were the last, Celeste probably wouldn't have looked so flippant about it.

Bandana Dee paused for a while, because he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. The sewing room was mostly silent—well, this room, anyway—and only consisted of two other waddle dees in the room, both very silent and minding their own very polite business. They probably were very polite dees—as most dees were—because they weren't terribly _nosy_ about Bandana Dee's (fail of a) conversation.

"They don't visit us often," Celeste remarked, because apparently she could read situations far better than Bandana Dee. "Me and Zinnia and Old Geezer, I mean. They used to stay with us, you know, but I guess they just didn't feel like staying in the same room anymore."

"So..." Bandana Dee attempted to get the information in his head. "They left the castle?" He took a step back to try and sit on the table behind him. It wasn't working.

"Nope. They still work in the castle, and I occasionally see them. They sleep in the kitchens. Trickler likes it there because 'it's warm', he says—"

Celeste cut herself off, and her gaze flicked downwards. She didn't speak, for a while. For a long while. Then, she said, "I think you stepped on a cockroach."

"_WHAT_." Bandana Dee jumped, away from the supposed crushed cockroach. Indeed, there was a bug. A cockroach. And he stepped on it. Details will be avoided for the sake of the squirmish. "Where's the tissue paper?"

"Wait!" For the first time, Celeste actually sounded alarmed. "Don't clean it up!"

"Why? It's disgusting." Icky cockroach innards.

"Yeah, it is!"

Yes, yes she was weird. Sadly, the "normal" type of people didn't even exist anymore.

"Then why can't I clear it up?"

Celeste tilted her head with an innocent smile that couldn't have belonged to anyone else except for that of an inquisitive child. "I like looking at disgusting things!"

* * *

**8 May 2015**

Yes the brothers which I intended to introduce then I forgot and since it's so late in the story I probably won't though I might mention them here and there.


	109. Quap

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Nine: Quap**

_The good side._

* * *

Bandana Dee was terrified of talking to Quap, actually. There was no telltale sign if the odd waddle dee was Quap or Quop at that moment and while Quap was okay, Bandana Dee certainly did not want to talk to Quop.

Thankfully—_very_ thankfully—he managed to encounter Quap, who was sitting on a bench and rocking himself back and forth. Quili wasn't present, though that didn't really bother Bandana Dee. (He'd probably just flee if Quop decided he wanted to wake up.)

"Quap," Bandana Dee greeted, and the waddle dee jumped—oh, sweet cake of cakes, _please_ make sure Quap didn't get a huge enough scare to let Quop on—oh, he looked just as timid. Good.

"You are..." Quap frowned, and for a moment, Bandana Dee was very scared the waddle dee forgot about their few encounters, "...Bandana Dee, aren't you?"

A sigh of relief filled the gap between their lines. Gingerly, Bandana Dee took a seat next to Quap, who didn't object to it. Quap didn't look like the type to object to anything, even if he didn't like it. Quop was the one whom Bandana Dee knew to verbally and physically rebel against anything he didn't like.

Bandana Dee thought about his next line for a moment, then realised Quap would probably be okay with anything. "How does your disco—diso—dissociative identity disorder thing work?"

A lot of people had probably asked him that question before. Probably many times. Silence fell. Quap shifted in his seat, and then continued rocking back and forth.

"What do you mean?"

"Uh... I don't know. Anything interesting about it? Isn't it the same thing as multiple personality disorder?"

Quap shrugged. "Quili likes calling it dissociative identity disorder."

"Maybe she's just trying to sound smart?"

"I don't know." _I don't care__,_ the silent words followed, even though Quap hadn't said it. "Interesting things, though..? Hm..." Quap tilted his head, and Bandana Dee took that as a sign that he was thinking. "I don't remember."

Oh. Huh. So Quap was the forgetful kind? Bandana Dee always thought Quap was the quietly responsible kind who went to do exactly whatever his schedule asked him for. Someone that wouldn't forget anything easily.

Bandana Dee stretched. "You don't remember anything interesting?"

Quap jumped, off the bench, and almost fell over. "No, that's not what I meant—I, er, suffer from... _memory loss_." The words sounded foreign on Quap's tongue for some reason. Maybe he didn't like talking about it? The waddle dee inched back to the bench and settled down once again.

Whoops. Memory loss. Bandana Dee completely missed the point. Oh well. Not like Quap would constantly use that moment to taunt Bandana Dee forever.

"I think it was an accident," Quap continued. "That's what Quili told me. I remember bits of what I've lost—er, I _think_—and I think one day I'll remember all of it... it's not really significant, though."

"How does _that_ relate to Quop?"

Quap tapped his cheek thoughtfully. "I don't know. It's weird. I don't know if Quop lost his memory too, but he remembers everything, apparently. Or that's what Quili told me. I'm not really sure... I want Quop to tell me what I've forgotten, because maybe I'll remember things faster, but he doesn't want to tell anyone. He won't even write it down because he's that paranoid."

"I don't get it."

"That's okay. You don't have to."

Bandana Dee was about to violently retort when Quap decided to clumsily make a miraculous trip off the bench, _splat_, he went, face-first into the floor, and Bandana Dee considered running because he didn't exactly want to talk to Quop.

* * *

**18 May 2015**

Some fanfiction beginnings:

_"My name is potahto and i have superhuman powers. sounds cool right? not really."_

Why can't the protagonists bask in the glory due to the fact that they have godlike powers _for once_


	110. Quop

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Ten: Quop  
**

_The evil terrifying side who probably eats children for breakfast._

* * *

"I don't see why such a lowly peasant like you deserves my presence."

"Uh, yeah," Bandana Dee said, and the reply tasted a little bland to him. Quop snorted. "Quap seems to like me, so-"

"You know Quap and I are two very different beings."

"...You know, you could leave now."

"I was about to," Quop snorted, "but since you were talking with Quap earlier, I'd like to know about what exactly."

Quop wasn't very unreasonable, aside from the minor god complex and all. He wasn't particularly nosy and couldn't really give a crap-rather, he had no craps to give. Bandana Dee didn't know why Quop wanted to know something like that, but it probably wasn't nonsensical.

He bit his lip—or did something he would consider biting his lip—and shrugged. "About his dissi—disco—dissociative identity disorder and all, that's all. Nothing big."

Although, the look Quop was giving him, he might as well have said, "It's a really big issue. It's so freaking big the bigness cannot be any bigger." Bandana Dee wasn't very good at interpreting expressions, he'd grudgingly admit. Mitchizuka was better at that-the waddle doo spent a good lot of his life guessing what Bandana Dee's thoughts were about.

"You don't need to know anything about our problem—it's not even a problem. It's just a situation. It's neither bad nor good. Therefore—"

"I know it's nosy, Quop, but it really is a weird thing." Bandana Dee scrunched his nose-or imitated that action, because he wasn't sure if people could see he was scrunching his nose. He liked to display emotions like that. That's why Mitchizuka was so good at interpreting faces. All Bandana Dee's fault. "I've never met anyone with something like multiple personality disorder. I've only seen it before on shows or something, I think."

"The shows give you a very misleading impression of dissociative identity disorder," Quop said in a warning tone, and it surprised Bandana Dee that it wasn't a hostile one. "First off, we can't directly _talk_ to each other. Those screw-ups sucko for a kids' show, most of the time, displays _exactly_ that, and that's not how it fu—"

It was only ten seconds into Quop's mini-rant and Bandana Dee's ears already hurt. He shook his head, and Quop stopped talking, albeit a little warily. Minor god complex, maybe, but he _was_ reasonable, at least.

Ah, Bandana Dee had ten minutes before he had to head off to patrol around the castle. Considering he took about two minutes to get there if he ran, he still had eight minutes to talk to Quop. That was enough. Bandana Dee was running out of things to talk about, anyway, and he couldn't really stand the awkwardness of awkward silences. No, he was no blessed with the gift of endurance of those sort of things. He got things done, but he simply did not socialise very well.

Or that's what he liked to think about himself, anyway. Bandana Dee didn't really like making observations on _himself_. _That_ was sort of awkward, too. Sort of. (At least no one could read his thoughts... last he checked, anyway.)

"Isn't it really restricting?" Bandana Dee asked, tilting his head, breaking the absence of sound between them. "Your disorder thing."

The other waddle dee seemed to muse over it for a while. "I wouldn't say _restricting_—it's just a hindrance. We have to go around explaining it to everyone, which is terribly irritating, but everything's swell after that." And Bandana Dee couldn't help but notice the silent, "And if it's me, it'll work out just fine." after that.

And, you see, Bandana Dee wasn't very good at replying. To acquaintances, at least. He didn't really know what he was supposed to say next, because he swore he had this feeling whatever he would say next would push Quop's _throw a tantrum_ buttons, and he really didn't want to do that. Really! Bandana Dee's an honest dee.

"Why don't you like discussing it with others, though?"

"_That_ is none of your business, plebeian."

Oh, great.

"'Dissociative'."

Bandana Dee leered at Quop because he was being really freaking weird.

"_Say it_."

"Daisco—dissici—'dissociative'."

"Again."

"Look, I have patrol in"—Bandana Dee swiped a glance at the clock nearby"—three minutes. I only have _one more minute_. I don't have any time to waste with this _thing_, all right? All right."

"You're Mitchizuka's language tutor," Quop scowled, and Bandana Dee carefully extracted the fact that he had said _Mitchizuka's_, and not _Midori's_ or _Haddle's_. "If you can't even pronounce a word, you're a farce."

"It's quite unnatural for you to help." Bandana Dee did feel a little moved, though. If Quop was in _that_ of a good mood, he didn't mind being late for patrol. Just that once. _Just that once_.

"It's quite beneficial if the strong helped the weak."

Bandana Dee would have liked that statement much more if Quop hadn't been annoyingly implying that Bandana Dee was weak.

* * *

**20 May 2015**

Is that FFN app thing _legit_? I mean it's been in their last two tweets but


	111. Zinnia

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Eleven: Zinnia**

* * *

Zinnia was the insane older sister of the sane Celeste.

And, simply put, Bandana Dee was scared shitless of her.

So, when he came up to talk (confront) her, he had a very good thought of jumping back into the stream of creatures on his right along the corridor, instead of approaching her, and then she _caught_ him, and for some reason, she started laughing at him, too.

"Did you think I was gonna eat you, or something? You look like a psychopathic murderer just eerily snickered at you."

Uh, well, that was actually pretty accurate.

"Don't you have _things_ to do?" Suddenly, when engaged in conversation, Bandana Dee kept hitting the "run" button, and it wasn't working.

"Don't _you_ have _things_ to do?" Zinnia mocked, before nodding her head. "Actually, I do! Cel called me thirty-six seconds ago and told me to clear the carcass from the living room."

"I don't have anything to do. It's my break," Bandana Dee scoffed. The only time he ever talked to people was during breaks, after all. "And go on and clear that dead body, then."

She shook her head and tapped her chin almost thoughtfully, glancing sinisterly at any minion walking by that gave her an odd look. Zinnia often got looks—be it terrified, annoyed, weird, _what-ev-er_, she got a lot of attention.

Well, mad people do tend to do that.

"Oh, if it's your break, then you can help me lift the carcass out, right? It's a fat one this time."

"What—_no_! That's _preposterous_. I will never lay my hands on a carcass that was probably killed because it pooped in your face or anything."

"Actually, no, the cow stepped on a twig and the cracking sound was annoying."

"That's _petty_."

"Yeah!"

A few rounds of back-and-forth and whatnot, and it appeared Zinnia completely forgot about the carcass-moving and all. Instead she was going on about how when you pee a little urine gets in your mouth or something and how frustrating Old Geezer always was and how irresponsible and inefficient and disorganised her brothers were—

And then back to the carcass-moving and all.

And Bandana Dee was insistently shaking his head. "_No_. Why _me_?"

"Because you're a guy."

"What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

He could take bullcrap to some degree, thanks to a certain one-eyed blob.

Zinnia tilted her head, then shrugged. "I don't know!"

Yes, so Bandana Dee had _thirty_ minutes left before he had a valid excuse to run away. Why didn't he go and find Quap again? Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did Pop Star have to be so star-shaped?

"Do I get anything out of it?" Money-minded, perhaps, but he wasn't about to move a dead body for a mad psychopathic murderous puffball.

Okay, maybe he was. If he was threatened, at the very least.

"...You can bring home my dead cactus, I guess!"

* * *

**31 May 2015**

I had this done for _nine days_.

Why didn't I publish it?

_I don't even know_


	112. Spaggy

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Twelve: Spaggy  
**

* * *

Spaggy and Bandana Dee didn't talk very often, but when they did, Bandana Dee had to admit, they were intriguing conversations.

"I thought you'd be on patrol right now?" Bandana Dee prompted, stirring his tea lazily. He didn't really like tea, but he needed to stay awake, and he liked coffee even less than tea. It was _acidic_. Or so he heard, anyway.

Spaggy shrugged. His drink hadn't come yet. Bandana Dee didn't really know what he ordered, but probably something sweet. "I'm ditching."

The cafe was quiet, and almost empty, and Bandana Dee liked quiet and empty cafes. Food and beverages were served faster and he could actually hear what his friends were saying—_if_ he was with someone else, that was. He didn't even have to worry about the cafe running out of business, because he very well knew that most people flocked to the cafe during the night. Because of some promotion thing or whatever.

"You shouldn't ditch," Bandana Dee began, and Spaggy seemed to curse himself for not remembering that Bandana Dee was the prim and proper sort of person. "Ditching is betraying Kirby's trust by not doing your work. He's _paying_ you. He trusts you to do your work and therefore doesn't stick a surveillance camera on all of us. And if you _ditch_—"

The magician waved it off. "How did you know I was supposed to be on patrol, anyway?"

Obviously not pleased about being interrupted, the other waddle dee shifted his berating gaze to an annoyed one. "Zinnia."

"Hm?"

"I had a talk with her the other day. She keeps track of everyone's schedules. She showed me yours as an example. And it was easy to memorise because there's a certain pattern to it, in case you haven't noticed. See, ther—"

"She's creepy," Spaggy mused, once again cutting off Bandana Dee. He slouched back in his chair. "Minura keeps saying you keep bumping into him at the grocery store or the fabric shop or something. What's with the consistent meetings?"

The pathetic leader of waddle dees didn't even understand what Spaggy was going on about, and seized the opportunity when the waiter served Spaggy his milkshake to silently think about it for a while.

Oh, the _grocery_ store. Bandana Dee did remember always meeting Minura there. It wasn't that big of a deal to him, though. It never had been.

"He and I go and buy stuff at the same time, apparently. Though, he has to leave slightly earlier than me. That's all." He paused a moment to let Spaggy absorb it in. "Why? Do I seem that suspicious?"

"Nope, I was just curious. Why? Do I seem that suspicious?"

Bandana Dee rolled his eyes and shook his head. Then he paused, rethinking over his answer. "Yeah, actually. Why're you so protective of that guy?"

"Are you insane? I can look at the wall for a second and when I turn back there's a lion mauling him to death."

"So... he's a trouble magnet?"

Spaggy chewed on his straw, another habit that Bandana Dee absolutely despised. (Mitchizuka happened to possess it.) "Er, I _guess_ so... Magnets spoil if they're constantly dropped, don't they? Or hammered?"

"...Think so. Why?"

A pause.

"Spaggy, don't you _dare_ even—"

* * *

**10 June 2015**

Someone's hiatus is my normal update rate.

I'll probably get to the project I promised for that crappy crap crap project. Today or tomorrow. Or next week. Or month. Or year. Or century.


	113. Jillie and Giggle

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Thirteen: Jillie and Giggle  
**

* * *

Nowadays, Bandana Dee hardly dropped by to visit Jillie and Giggle anymore. Haddle saw them the most, and they'd been doing okay, according to Haddle's reports, and Haddle's reports were as accurate as seeing the very own things with your own eyes. Do not doubt the Haddle. Never doubt the Haddle.

"How is it?" Bandana Dee asked, not because he actually cared, but you know. You know. It was polite to ask.

_"Oh, Bandana Dee."_ The ghost blinked at him for a moment before turning back to the sack she was stuffing. Bandana Dee didn't even know what she was throwing inside. _"Sorry_—_I'm not able to accommodate you as well as I'd like to, because, as you can see..."  
_

_"Maybe if you hadn't been worrying over whether that dog was alive or not earlier you wouldn't still be filling that stupid bag right now,"_ Giggle snorted, nostrils flaring.

_"It could have been dead."_

_"Then let it **be**_ _dead."_

Bandana Dee wasn't sure whether he wanted to know what they were talking about.

As they squabbled over whether the dog was dead or alive and whether the sun was red or blue or green, Bandana Dee stopped to ponder on why he hadn't visited them for a long while. He wasn't unusually busy, _they_ weren't unusually busy. Oh. Uh. Was it just another case of laziness, then?

"Say, Jillie," Bandana Dee began uncertainly, "why do you even help us out? I mean, if you're free as a ghost, you should be doing fun things. Like things you can do without risk that had risk when you were still alive."

Jillie blinked at Bandana Dee from where she was arguing with Giggle. _"That could be true_—_but I like helping people, and you _were_ the first one to agree to play some games with me, weren't you? I can't stray too far from the clock, anyway. It's precious to me."_

"Where _is_ that clock, anyway?"

_"In the basement."_

The waddle dee only stared in confusion.

_"Ah_—_I mean the storage room."  
_

Giggle snorted. _"If I were you, I'd be exploring __everywhere else apart from this stuffy castle. No one even rides on me, anyway, so I don't even know why I'm here."_

Bandana Dee sighed at Giggle's impatience. Although, it _was_ true, so there wasn't really anything Bandana Dee could _retort_ with. "You're kind of a danger to the village otherwise, but if I ever get permission, I'll let you and Jillie go out for some flying or something."

_"Empty promises_._"_

"Rude."

* * *

**20 June 2015**

I think I'll just cover the castle characters and nothing further.


	114. Coffee Break

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Fourteen: Coffee Break  
**

* * *

Midori never really talked with Kirby much.

The scoroo said hello to the cockroaches in Zinnia's plants that she looked after, harassed Bandana Dee on a daily basis, but, oh, hey, he had never really talked much with Kirby, had he? Why not? It wasn't like Kirby was some intimidating monster from the seventh deepest layer of hell, or something.

...Or at least, _probably_ not.

Whatever. Here he went. One small knock on the door with his fist, then a loud _BANG!_ for a knock on the door with his tail. His gaze sheepishly flickered up to the spot where he'd hit. Oops. A mark. It wasn't very clear, though. So he was okay, right?

Kirby swung the door open all too fast and cocked his head sideways at Midori. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah!" Midori cheerfully replied, hopping to dance on the tips of his feet. By "_dance_", he meant bobbing up and down without any sense of rhythm.

The pink puffball waited for Midori to make his request, until he realised the scoroo might need another prompt. "Oh, you're that scoroo from that time. The only scoroo we have in the castle."

"You are _lucky_ to have me, yep!"

"Yes. I probably am."

"Actually," Midori trilled, "I'm really bored! Like, Bandana Dee's supposed to spend time with _me_ right now, but Mitchi is really, really, _really_ dumb, so we have to—well, Bandana Dee has to!—tutor him for longer. And I'm really bored! You see, right?"

Past Kirby, in his room, was his usual room without much difference. Oh, and the stacks of paper. The _neat_ stacks of paper. The very neat stacks of paper that Kirby had probably carefully put on one by one and turned off the fan so that it wouldn't blow, because maybe he was OCD. Or maybe Kirby had conveniently thrown each paper behind him without knowing where they'd land, and with some god-like aim, it landed in perfect piles.

Yeah, the latter was _really_ plausible.

Back to the confused Kirby: "...So you came... because you've got nothing to do?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, okay."

"I wanna play a game. Like, a _card_ game," Midori chirped, then his face fell. "Oh, but not Speed! We only play Speed when Haddle's around and Haddle's always too _fast_, so he keeps _winning_, and it's _boring_."

Kirby tilted his head again. "I don't have any card games."

"Then... we can go down to the recreation room!"

"But then if we use one set, that means _someone else_ can't play the cards. And that person might've _really_, _really_ wanted to play them."

Midori was about to retort, but then decided against it and instead sighed and plopped himself on the floor. Whatever. He kept playing them with Mitchizuka, anyway. Maybe he should try something else. Heart Attack? ...Nah, his hand would hurt too much afterwards. Maybe. No indoor things, the scoroo decided. Indoor things were officially boring.

So... outdoor things.

There was the playground, but that was always crowded and that got boring, too. There was that hobo spot for a tiny garden somewhere, but Midori didn't know the way there and Bandana Dee had mentioned there was only a swing, anyway. The farms? ...Nah. Some medication crops grew there and if he disrupted anything, Haddle would punch Midori's face into a concave shape.

Noticing the scoroo's trouble, Kirby brightened and jumped over Midori, walking over to the parapet. He clambered onto it, and for a split second, Midori was sure he was going to backflip off as a way of committing suicide.

"Here. Grab onto my feet when I get up."

Midori tilted his head. "Your _feet_? But that's gross."

"Oh." Kirby tilted his own head. He did it a lot. "Then... you can jump-float behind me. You know how to, right?"

"But that's tiring. Can't we walk?"

"Well... the path isn't exactly _friendly_ to walking."

The scoroo grumbled a little before nodding. "Okay, fine. You can carry me there, then!"

Kirby beamed, before puffing himself up with air and his feet hovered off the ground. At that, Midori reluctantly walked over and wrabbed his tail around Kirby's feet, binding them together and keeping Midori safely on. Not exactly what Kirby had in mind, but it wouldn't hinder anything, anyway.

Then the pink puffball pushed off.

* * *

**13 September 2015**

I am literally the best author in the world. One look at the update rate is like a one-way express train to LeCriVille. It's actually phenomenal.

Quilli or Quili or however you spell her name was supposed to be next, but I realised that I got very bored of the character thing and I will probably not go back to it. Ever. It sucks. Why did I think of it. why did i have to be so stupid

so yeah! I'm gonna finish this thing off whenever but there are still some actually relevant stuff I'm going to include. Doesn't mean I'm updating like I used to, though. don't even _start_ hoping that I will be a responsible author because I think I have long established that I am an actual very realistically and abnormally _lazy_. if you haven't picked that up already then. haha. (sucker.) (i mean no)

When will I get a steady one? ...Mid-October? Maybe? _Maybe_? I don't know, I suck. there is never a guarantee with suckers.

(this is probably obvious but this chapter is part 1/2. i will never have two characters floating off into the sunset and leave it like that. _never_ as in _no_)


	115. Unsightly Cliffs

**Minion: A Few Hundred Drastic Changes Under King Kirby**

**Chapter Hundred and Fifteen: Unsightly Cliffs  
**

* * *

"Hm... I could've sworn I was going in the right direction, really..."

"You've got us lost! Jinxed! Will I ever see my mother again?" Midori sobbed as he tearfully dabbed at his eye with an imaginary cloth.

"Oh, don't be silly. You don't visit your family." Kirby thoughtfully cradled his supposed chin in his stub as he walked on. "Well, I don't recognise _this_ area, if it's anything..."

"Great. The new, assigned king is a complete loser at his sense of direction. Whatever shall I do? I'll never get to tell Bandana Dee I deliberately shoved him in between his wall and his bed once!"

"That would be quite the problem."

"Yes, it would! I need to go back and tell him, now! Lead the way on back, Your Majesty!"

"Well, okay. I think it was this way... Wait, no. I don't remember that tree... it can't be _that_ way. Maybe it was over there? No, I don't remember a clearing anywhere..."

Dark clouds had gathered and Kirby had landed, just in case they would be electrocuted and their bodies would never be found because they would be eaten by vultures who hungered for fried food. Specifically, Fried Kirby and Fried Midori. With mayonnaise, maybe. Kirby had somehow managed to land in a _forest of dead pine trees_, and he proceeded to walk around for a while. There was no storm, but he thought it would be best to wait the weather out.

Of course, it hadn't been happening. They had been trapped in the dead forest for an _infinity_. (Or so Midori thought. At least. It was valid!) And Kirby hadn't brought along any food, of course, being very well-planned, and he was about to starve and die and curl into a foetal position. Well, however well a ball could curl up, at the very least...

"Well, I think it's up ahead. There's a path over here, and there's a fork up ahead, see?"

Midori looked up from the ground. There _was_ a fork, and they both seemed to be leading into just a bigger mass of dead pine trees. "Well, yes, there is a fork. Glorious. Whatever shall we do? Left? Right?"

"You could work in a theatre, Midori."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Kirby didn't answer Midori's question; instead, he simply walked straight along, ignoring both forks, and into the clump of dead trees.

Midori feared the decision of making Kirby king may have been wrong.

They walked on for a bit, and then the number of dead pine trees started to decrease, notably. Or perhaps it was all just an illusion from the beginning and the magic was getting weaker and hence the decrease in number—_nah_. Midori was sure Kirby didn't have every single screw tight up in his head, but he wasn't stupid enough to go around walking lost in a _flatland_.

"Here." Kirby ducked under a branch—a branch that Midori bashed his eyeball into and he proceeded to wail for the next two minutes—and then hurried up on ahead. Midori stumbled on a bit—and noted that the bare, dried ground began to be dotted with hints of green—and joined Kirby on the grassy cliff.

"...It's, uh, a cliff," Midori remarked incredibly.

Kirby nodded sagely.

"Is it significant to you?"

"What? ...Somewhat."

"Oh, so you were born here, or something? Or received your godly powers here. Or your life was changed here. Were you a secret murderer in your past, then?"

"No, I wasn't a secret murderer. I never was. I don't remember having killed anything before. And, no, I wasn't born here. And... what are these godly powers you're talking about?"

"Absolutely nothing. I'm not being suspicious at all. Are you a vegetarian, or something?"

"...Where I can help it. Why?"

"Absolutely nothing." Midori peered over the cliff and expected to see some beauty scenery or some typical image—he didn't. The valley was deep, and stretched out far, too. It was barren—no live plants, just more dead trees, which Midori was pretty sick of—and there were hints of what may have been a river. A river that had completely dried up, probably. It wasn't pretty at all. "So. What's with this spot? Are you attracted to ugly things, or something?"

"No, I don't think so. But this place _is_ quite significant to—"

The scoroo whirled around with an air of pride. "Aha! I knew it. You were born here."

Kirby tilted his head. "Well... no, not quite. I guess. Not really. I was born elsewhere, but I crash-landed here."

"Oh. Whoops. On this cliff?"

"No, in the valley."

"Oh. How was it?"

"I bled for three days and nearly died."

Midori suddenly felt like he had hit the Taboo Topic. "Must've been hard to survive, probably. So! Why did you even decide to become the hero of Dream Land? Or Pop Star? Or—the universe? I don't know which one, actually. I never really invested any time into your tales."

"Oh, that's fine. I didn't actually _want_ to be a hero when I arrived here, actually. I was hoping for a more ordinary life." Kirby shrugged as if he was just announcing that it was raining, or something trivial. "But since no one else stepped up, I had to."

"Heroic!"

"Well, if you want to call it that."

"How are we going to get back, by the way?"

"Sit and wait for some holy light to pick us up, I guess."

"I like that idea!"

* * *

**6 December 2015**

Pretty obviously, I've lost interest in writing the story. And to make a wild and baseless guess so are a lot of others readers. Except readers read instead of write because they're readers and they don't write this fanfiction. y'know

Still, I wasn't going to end it with this chapter because that would be too abrupt, and abrupt things are horrible things. Although with my interest and slack-y-ness it's definitely not going on for any longer. I'd end it within the next two chapters but then it would be _117_ chapters. How can anyone have 117 chapters? It must always be a multiple of five. Preferably ten.

So, 120? 120 is not a nice number. 150 is. But by the time chapter 150 rolls around, it'll be 2020. Nope. Nonononope. 120 it is


End file.
